Bad Memories!

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Do any of you know how to deal with Bad Memories? I did not have much of a happy childhood. Others were cruel to me in school. I was bullied from time to time, not only by the other students, but by the teachers themselves. Could dieting, exercise, and meditation help somewhat?

I have bad memories, too.

I deal with them...by trying to create good memories for my future.

Some suggest that exercising is linked to positive thinking. Meditation helps you organise your thoughts, but it doesn't make you forget. I'm not sure how dieting would help you. My advice is to let go. I don't mean some cliche movie scene where you put a rose near a grave and say goodbye. Writing a letter and then disposing of it can help. If you can, try counselling. Don't let these memories overwhelm you.

My approach, too.

I can't change what happened to me in the past. And as a child I had very little control, if any. Now, I'm free to make positive experiences - and I do.

At 20 years old, when I looked back over my life there was essentially complete negativity. It was miserable and depressing.

Now I'm nearly 30, and the good memories infinitely outweigh the bad ones. In 10 years I've gone from a life that I hated, to one that means I could lie on my death bed tomorrow and feel fulfilled and happy.

None of the negative stuff has been erased, but the good has built on top of it.

I also am trying to make good memories for the future. As my favorite inspirational tennis player, Denis Istomin says, "Don't look back, only forward."

I haven't been actively doing anything with my life though, so I can't really say I've been "trying to make good memories". I've been on autopilot for a good portion of the last few years; more bad memories have resulted from it so all I can say is, don't be like me lol. Maybe aiming to make good memories is the right approach, but personally I'd beat myself up over unsatisfaction if I felt I failed in experiencing things that should be good memories despite me objectively trying to achieve them. My logic for being on autopilot is that I'm just taking a "safe route" from further humiliating myself; just my two cents.

And when I decide to exercise, I usually do it wrong ... in that I'll obsess over and torture/starve myself for "faster progress" and its just overall unhealthy so I stray from it lol

You could try writing them down on paper. That sometimes works to get them out of your system. You don't need to show the papers to any one.

What I try to adhere to nowadays is not to suppress bad memories. I'm a chronic avoider, which includes dodging internal confrontations with some of my worst experiences that upset me, or cause a lot of anxiety. I must appear quite mad on the outside, I'll be randomly going about my day, and will quietly tell myself to 'stop', because my thoughts have drifted someplace bad. For a long time I thought that was a healthy way to tackle bad memories but I am gradually coming to see I am still trying to bury them by never thinking about them at all, pretending they don't exist. I now try let these images, sounds and words play through and then think very hard about forgiving others, and myself.

Should I be concerned that I don't seem to have many memories of my childhood? And even those I do have are hazy to say the least. I think my brain is damaged.

I was battling some pretty bad childhood memories of my own last year, about my upbringing. The things that helped me was taking a break from my parents, working on my art and listening to lots of music.