Can an autistic person have better social skills than an NT?

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Well I don't suffer with any typical aspie problems, I'm very high functioning to the point no one even suspects me of being anything other than NT. I just come on here to help others normally, as I've helped plenty of other autistic people in the past.

That wasn't the case when I was younger, I was still high functioning but I realised I was lacking a lot of social skill, not being able to hold conversations for very long etc. But, I wasn't very socially aware of my own actions and how I was being seen to other people so I had to learn off others quite a lot, and in doing so I ended up with a much larger vocabulary and general understanding of why people say/do things. Psychology/Scoiology research helps tons.

For my aspie friends, they ended up getting really into TV dramas, animes and such. They enjoyed them anyway but they didn't just watch them normally - they tried to take something from it. Like why did this/that character do this for example.

I think it's like, some aspie folk were born without the ability to learn social skills fast like an NT can just pick them up as they get older, or they had some understanding, different levels for different people. So with this, I think it's kind of like trying to learn another language that you weren't able to automatically grasp when you were younger like a lot of NTs. You're just an individual who doesn't get the social language and that's okay cause you can learn.

Since I understand all this, I've helped people in the past better their social skills tremendously by being in person with them and showing them what this/that means or why you shouldn't act a certain way or why something can be perceived as weird or rude.

For example, an aspie male friend of mine kept liking pages on Facebook that were very women orientated, kept liking ALL of his female friends desperate boob shots so I had to explain to him that a lot of people who are following him on Facebook can see these posts he's liking and it makes other people perceive you as desperate for a woman when he was only liking their pictures because he was actually incredibly innocent and liked their smiles and didn't realise that he was actually damaging his social life by doing that because people stop talking to you when they perceive you as desperate like that. But self awareness plays a HUGE part in it all which a lot of people seem to skip out on when it's probably one of the most important aspects of even learning social skills. Which is basically understanding what you are actually doing and what affects it will play on you. You need to be aware of how it will affect others around you, like my friend didn't understand that which is why a lot of girls avoided him cause they thought he was just a 'f**kboy' since he kept liking pictures of every single girl and even really desperate boobie 'attention me' shots, hopefully that makes some sense.

This is the real kind of learning experience a lot of aspie folk really need so they can understand things better, because I don't think an NT can explain things in the way that we'll definitely understand. If you know any high functioning folk with great social skills, definitely get them to teach you. If not, don't lose hope it's still possible.

If you're wanting to learn on your own - it will be simply a bit more time spent on it, you just have to throw yourself into social situations but try to take things from it and ask people questions about why someone would do this/that or what they mean by something, it's fine to ask questions, it doesn't matter if you're coming across as weird as you're trying to learn. Don't be afraid to ask, you're trying to better yourself and that's waaay more important than them poking a bit of fun at you or whatever. If they ask just say you were just wondering cause you were confused. If you know someone with good social skills who is a decent person then try to take parts of their vocabulary and put them in your own, the parts you understand though. You can even change them very slightly so you don't come across as odd for mimicking your friend. Don't worry about being odd in the start though, most people actually don't care if you're a bit weird they're more bothered about themselves.

I could type more but there's so much so I'd be here all day haha. I hope some of that made some sense anyway, I find explaining these things for someone else to understand can be a confusing process in itself.

All this is kinda like when you were younger and you didn't know how to type on a keyboard without using just 1 finger and didn't know where the keys were so you were just barely getting along. Well, figure out/remember where the keys are so you can excel at it.



There are certain quirks which make it so they can tell, like blank expression, "soulless gaze" etc.
A new specialist came around to my friends house, like her regular specialist doctor therapy person and the first time they met he was like "I can tell you're autistic just from looking at you" which I can get, cause it's the whole 'shifty' look thing.



You can definitely learn facial expressions, I've seen the worst of the worst develop into someone who can blend pretty well with NTs. All it means is that it's a longer learning process.

But yeah, the more time you spend actually learning and interacting it definitely pays off even if it doesn't seem it at first.

I also think that many aspies are logical and they use that logic to keep from saying hurtful things to people. That couls hurt that person's feelings, so I won't say it. Some NTs don't have that, so they don't think of whether words could be hurtful or not.

I know that, I am trying to ask how do they separate what symptoms are part of ASD or just the person just having poor social skills. You can have symptoms and not have an ASD so I am asking how a doctor would be able to differentiate between the two.

I think in some ways we have better social skills than an NT. But in a lot of ways we're worse at it. The reason why we're better at it is because we're honest. Most autistics are more honest and blunt than people that aren't. Because I say what I believe and think out loud without even thinking of it. Which leads me into trouble some of the time. But I like people being honest. But the things we're worse with is social interaction. We don't know when the appropriate time is to talk about things. Or get facial expressions that well. And get sarcasm a lot of the time. And several other things I can't think of at this moment.

I think with the black and white thinking can make someone with an ASD have better social skills than an NT. I have noticed that NTs seem to break them all the time and I suspect there are social cues for when that rule doesn't apply while an ASD person will follow them all the time no matter what.

As a person with on and off self-loathing and low self-esteem, I don't go around making other people feel bad about themselves to make myself feel better. Instead, it's the other way around; I prefer to make quiet or odd or fragile people feel better about themselves by being friendly and understanding with them. I KNOW there are NTs out there who do the same, but there are still a lot that seem to have to treat some people like s**t. If a person is nice but odd and even annoying, I still like them and wouldn't be nasty. People that are a bit different actually fascinate me and I want to get to know them and be friends. I have never bullied anyone in my life.

That depends on how you define "better". I like to think I have more tolerant and sensitive social skills because I've been on the receiving end of intolerance and insensitivity growing up.

Yes. It's definitely possible. On Reddit they call them neckbeards. Neckbeards are known for having poor social skills and general life skills. Some of them could be aspies, but a lot of them are actually NT. A lot of aspies I've met tend to be pretty well adjusted and pleasant to be around. They can run circles around NT neckbeards.

I frequently go on there and I have never even heard of that term. Would my first boyfriend be considered a neckbeard because he had poor social skills and poor hygiene and he was fat but he was a undiagnosed schizophrenic and he had a beard around his mouth. I did find a thread on there about dating neckneards and lot of the stories were creepy I would think they all had mental issues because no normal person acts that way.

I have met some ABDL men online and they seemed to have worse social skills than autistic people do.

Maybe. It's hard to describe neckbeards, but you know them when you see them. They tend to be into atheism/skepticism, wearing fedoras and trench coats, arguing with people online, my little pony, anime and video games. An example of neckbeard behavior would be telling people there's no proof of ghosts when they're having fun telling each other ghost stories. Maybe your ex boyfriend was a neckbeard, maybe he wasn't. Hard to know from your description.

Do you need to be "normal" to be a neckbeard and not have any mental disorders or any mental illnesses?

No. Aspies can be neckbeards as well. But I think a lot of them are NT or at least non-autistic.

Yeah no. Unusual affect is an optional class A (social criteria) criteria for autism, many people on the spectrum are actually very expressive, and many people off the spectrum aren't. For autism what there really needs to also be is the class B criteria, which are a bunch of miscellaneous stuff which have nothing to do with social interaction.

If someone is autistic, you can't just separate poor social skill that are because of AS and those which aren't because people are dynamic. Autism is a developmental disorder, not a static condition. To make the distinction, you need to look for other symptoms of autism.

As someone who Is not autistic I have met people who are way more socially acceptable than myself and lightly autistic.

It is very possible and likely because you can train how you react to things

https://www.reddit.com/r/neckbeardstories/

Legbeard = girl neckbeard.

I think neckbeards are just a variety of people autistic or not, possibly with other mental health / neurology conditions and they get lumped into this forum for lack of self awareness.