Girl I recently had sex with is not returning my texts

Post Reply New Topic

There is a girl that I met at an amazing party and it seemed like we hit it off right. She was all over me right when we met and told me that I was very attractive and was touching me a lot (I love touching a lot). Fast forward to a week and a half later, we meet up for a date and everything seemed to go well. A day later I am doing uber and lyft and happen to be nearby her and I text her to meet up with her and she agrees and I meet her roommate. After going out with her and her roommate, we then spend alone time together in the hottub and then we both have sex (bad probably because it was my first time ever having sex) and I sleep over for a bit and then head out in the morning. After that, I texted her the sex was good on Sunday and then I texted her Tuesday to ask her if she wanted to meet up on Thursday and she has not responded since.

How should I handle this situation? Should I call her? Did I do something to mess things up?

Never say things like that to a girl. There's a few possible scenarios here. One is that she didn't think the sex was that great so is no longer interested in seeing you, which is her prerogative, nothing you can do about that. If it was your first time then I wouldn't worry about it, it's hard to "learn sex" with one night stands as you don't get the repeatable practice. If you're in a relationship with someone then things like "bad sex", especially at the start, are forgiven more and you get more practice and as you get more open with each other you can discuss what you like\don't like what can be done to improve etc. You get none of that with a one night stand.

The other scenario is that she did want to see you again but your text objectified her and made her think you are only interested in her for sex (women hate that), and that your desire to meet up again was only to have more sex. In future say things like "I really enjoyed spending time with you and would love to see you again if you're interested." Something like that, something that skirts completely around the sex bits. Even if you did send her a text like that there is still no guarantee she would want to see you again anyway (see first scenario).

I wouldn't contact her again, you've left the ball in her court so it's up to her. Contacting her again will just make you sound like a creep.

I would not text her again.

Oops too late. I contacted her via phone. Oh well I messed up. This keeps happening to me. I just hope she texts back or something. Probably not. Gonna have to find ways to get her out of my mind and gotta find a way to behave better when dealing with the topic of sex. And gotta find a way to curb my touching so much.

Out of curiosity, how did things go over the phone?

More important, though, congrats. You just got used by a girl!

Girls and guys really aren't that much different. We all just want sex (and you're fooling yourself if you disagree). Women don't have the overt reputation of just using men to scratch an itch, but there are those who do. You found one. You got used. She's moving on. So should you.

She texted me back and told me I'm too busy. It was probably due to the bad sex. Seriously, how do you known if the sex was good or not.

Also, I was the one that initiated all the texts. What does that mean? When I texted her, she replied in long sentences. I thought that meant interest. Man I gotta be careful...

Oh? Did you mention that earlier? I must have missed it. My mistake. I was under the impression she didn't reply at all.

I don't really do sex advice. Good/bad is relative. I believe the woman should always climax first, THEN the man. A man's role is all about stamina, discipline, and self-control, using those qualities to keep the woman at the highest level of respect at all times.

Otherwise, sex is just another body function. People relieve their bowels all the time. That doesn't mean they go talking about it. Once sex becomes the central feature of a relationship, the clock starts running down. If it's a thing with you two, I strongly suggest you let her take the initiative.

Whether good/bad sex means being adventurous, changing positions, acting out porno flicks--well, that's above my pay grade. Best of luck to you.

Now I need to get over this girl and make sure I dint fall prey to sex on a 2nd date and all this mumbo jumbo. I hate being single all life and am doing everything to not mess things up.

I have had sex with two women in my life, each only one time. Both of them told me they were interested in seeing me again at the time but then wanted nothing to do with me afterward. It sucks but you just have to let it go, forget about her, and meet someone else.

Yep. I gotta get over this chick by the end of the weekend. Just gonna immerse myself with more music, DJing, Production, etc. All I can do honestly it recognize what she did wrong and most importantly what I did wrong. At least now I have a "relationship checklist" to determine how to behave properly on a date. I could use a "friendship checklist" as well too.

Henry, let me put it to you this way:

If you are the kind of guy who CAN have sex with girls, then you are the kind of guy who can likely get into a relationship fairly easily. I believe that sex should only happen within a strict monogamous context, preferably marriage. Not everyone believes as I do, and I accept that.

So having said that, given what I see a lot of guys on here going for and failing, I think YOU need to be the one giving advice around here. Stop overthinking everything and just go with it. If that's the path you want to take, why do you care if a girl uses you or not? Make sure you aren't getting anyone pregnant, make sure you're not getting a disease.

Welcome to the world of being a MAN. If you insist on having sex, understand that girls will use you. Man up, don't cry about it, don't call, don't mention it. That's how this works. Women cry and moan all the time how a guy never calls after sex. Decent girls are justified in this because they don't like feeling used. Men are never justified because--guess what--OUR FEEEEEEELINGS DON'T MATTER!

I'm not saying this is right. I'm not saying it's fair. I'm just saying this is what a man's world looks like.

If you like her, call her back, ask her out. If she's "busy," try again next week. If the same thing happens, try again a week later. If no change, give up on her. But don't stop moving your life forward over one girl. If she turns you down, ask someone else out, even after the first time.

Next chance I get I'm going to rehash my "dating formula." You might like it.

I don't feel confident giving advice... I'm really trying to understand dating because it's hard. Honestly I haven't stopped my life over one girl I'm trying to get over, the whole emotion of it drags throughout my day but you won't ever see me stopping my own life for a girl. I just need to find ways to process this whole situation. I've learned to not cry about it. I just need a lot of guidelines and rules to determine things. I seriously did not know that I was being used. I went out with the girl last Friday and then Saturday met up with her out of random.

At least now I have a "dating checklist" that I found online.

I have been that girl with a slightly different back story...She probably wants you to leave her alone without having to explain herself or hurting your feelings. That was how I felt when I chose not to reply to my ONS's texts, but of course your girl might not feeling the same thing as I did. Anyhow I hope you the best of luck.

Congratz on having sex for the first time, sorry she stopped replying back tho. Dating is like a haunted house sometimes, too many ghosts.

It's crazy how sex in real life is complex but porn is amazing. A lot of the time, porn is better and I watch it a lot. 3 times a day. Helps me fight the loneliness I used to feel not having a girlfriend. I still feel lonely but with dating, I need things to be structured with timelines because I don't know what's relationship appropriate given only lasting 2 - 3 dates and then the dates go poof. I've always been told it's because of clingyNess. So lost with women and dating.

If you had no prior attachment or investment between you except the one date and that particular period of time, there is not really any reason to feel harshly aggrieved if a person does not find much more ground they wish to walk upon when the connection was not rooted and anchored as such even though it plunged into the intensity of sexual territory. Whilst you feel there ought to be more, she may not believe it constitutes any further discussion. She may have a pattern of behaving like this with people she takes a shine to or she may not and be confused, upset or indifferent. That is not to say you did anything wrong or were not a worthwhile experience, it's not the deepest exchange of love though and does not really follow an expected course. Communication is important if she decides to respond but again it's not really the same arena as a relationship where one can except a degree of give and take, maybe it will develop into something who knows.