Adult ASD Arrogance/Overconfidence

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I have been dealing with a lot of issues with my ASD son (24) over the last couple of years. He has never had a job outside of working part time for our small business. I finally was able to find him a paid internship/training sort of program and he has moved out of state and away from home for the first time while trying this out. We had worked with him throughout his adolescence on things like how to shop, clean, have a bank account, etc. so I am not worried about his ability to live on his own so much.

What I am worried about is his general attitude saying how great he is at everything. I don't know if this is common in the ASD world or not. He posted some things online on his blog he started and talked about how he has basically "overcome Aspergers", taught himself how to be the most extraverted and charming person in the room, how awesome he is at being social, etc. He texted me yesterday after his second day at work and said his boss is tremendously impressed with his amazing performance at his job so far. I don't know how you could be amazing after two days at work. I am worried he is going overboard trying to be friendly and energetic and people at work are going to eventually get annoyed with him.

Does anyone else's children act in this way? I know that people with ASD have a high rate of unemployment/underemployment and I know it has a lot to do with social skills. I am also wondering if my son has a bit of low level bipolar going on - he seems on a very big high right now, and I know he is excited about finally doing something with himself instead of being stuck here all the time, and I am happy for him, but feeling nervous it is all going to fall apart sooner or later, and then he will fall into a severe depression.

Thanks for any insight any of you have.

I don't know if it is the bipolar coming through. (To me it sounds more like bipolar/manic than autism, although autism can make it difficult to know how you are doing if you take people comments literally and they say nice things but have different body language or use sarcasm or something)

I think regardless of what it is, I doubt there is anything you can do that would make a difference. Telling him you think he is not being realistic is going to show you don't have confidence in him, but I doubt it would make him re-calibrate anything. Whether that lack of confidence is justified or not, i think it would just encourage him to dismiss everything you say.

Maybe someone else would have a different perspective on it, and can offer something concrete, but he is a legal adult (unless under guardianship) and in another state and I think the distance might be good for him and you. He has to start growing up and this seems like a good opportunity to try.

Edited for literacy

Yes I agree. I know I can't do anything, and I think the distance is definitely good for us. When he texted me last night I just wrote back, "That's great! I'm so happy your job is going well!" I am intentionally not calling, etc and letting him take the lead.

I just didn't know if being overconfident like this was common. I am truly hoping it all works out for him, and we will just be there for him if it doesn't.

I am over confident and get really excited too, for similar types of things. You're right, there will be a drop, but it may not be devastating like you think. He needs to learn this now as it will probably reoccur in his life. He will learn to deal with it and even to recognize and anticipate the fall.

As with ANY offspring, sometimes you just have to let them go and be there when they need you. Try to relax. It could turn out really well.

Going through phases where you think that you don't have autism, and that maybe you never did, is pretty normal, as far as I know. I did the same. I was pretty much the same age. I know a lot of people who do this as young adults. It's just a part of being an independent adult.

Wishful thinking? Internalized messages about how autistic people can't do anything and there for if you can do stuff, you must not be autistic? Just youthful feeling their oats? (That's the right phrase, right?) I got into alternative medicine and believed people literally when they told me that I could create my reality with the words I chose to describe things, so I declared to the world that I was normal and expected reality to follow suit. lol

Unless there's a lot more going on than what you've described here, I wouldn't worry to much about him being bi-polar. It is a high to be on your own for the first time. Remember when you first had your own apartment? It's so much fun. I would expect that reality would crash down on him at some point. Of course, there will be challenges that he struggles with eventually.