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MSBKyle
Deinonychus
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02 Apr 2017, 3:40 pm

Do you regret or feel guilty about things you did years ago? I feel guilty about a lot of things I did when I was a little kid and recently. I feel guilty about things I did to certain people and things I did with certain things. I will admit that I have wronged a lot of people in my life because of my actions and behavior. I'm not a bad person nor I have ever been, but I do feel bad that some of my behaviors have ruined others' day. I also regret things that I have done that were not involved with anyone. I regret getting rid of certain items. Because of my OCD, I also regret doing certain things to items instead of leaving them alone. I wish that there was a time machine so that we could go back in time and correct our mistakes. Living with regret and guilt is very painful. It is hard to let things go when you realize that you could have made a better decision. For me, I never regret not doing something. I mostly regret doing something. I would rather have not done anything at all than do something and have it turn out to be a really bad decision. I will admit that I am not the best decision maker. I think that we should always get second chances in case we mess up the first time.



conanthewarrior
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09 Apr 2017, 7:23 am

Yes, I do feel this quite a lot.

It was worst when I was drinking heavily, which I now realise was a way of me self medicating, as it lowered my inhibitions and allowed me to have a somewhat 'normal' life, finding it a lot easier to communicate with other people.
Due to this though, I often woke up afraid to check my phone or online incase I had done anything bad, even though I was certain I had not offended anyone I was still afraid and felt guilty I may have.

Also I do feel regret for some things when I was a child. I never did anything terrible, just things I now realise were not very kind from an adults point of view. I do also have regrets in my adult life from things I have said to people, and now realise they was not nice to say.



nick007
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28 Apr 2017, 3:37 am

I relate to this. It was worse when I was going through a bad depression over my 1st relationship ending. I feel bad over my 2nd relationship ending too. I had lots of fights & was controlling in both those relationships cuz of bad anxiety & OCD but I'm on meds now for em that help alot. I worry I'll screw my current relationship up & think she might leave me or that I should leave her after we have big fights but we're both committed to trying to work things out & I feel extremely guilty afterwards. I also feel guilty over little mistakes I made that didn't hurt anyone. I feel very embarrassed by those things thou I didn't feel that way at the time.


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seaweed
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29 Apr 2017, 1:17 pm

yes, of course.

but i wonder if feeling regret and guilt is maybe not a bad thing. it feels absolutely horrible, but the longer i continue to live and learn the more i don't want to keep piling on painful regrets and guilty consciences. that's a more accessible way to think about second chances at least.



opingebr
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02 May 2017, 11:46 am

Yup, same here. Have it real bad at times...



shortfatbalduglyman
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02 May 2017, 8:57 pm

Do you regret or feel guilty about things you did years ago?

a lot of regrets and guilt, often obsessed over


I feel guilty about a lot of things I did when I was a little kid and recently. I feel guilty about things I did to certain people and things I did with certain things. I will admit that I have wronged a lot of people in my life because of my actions and behavior.

I'm not a bad person nor I have ever been, but I do feel bad that some of my behaviors have ruined others' day.

precious little "people" get the impression that everyone is either completely good or completely bad. and they see themselves as perfect. quite frankly, it is hard to imagine that anyone could have never "ruined others' day" before, once, in their lives. even one action might get labelled as good by some and bad by others. everyone has biases.

I also regret things that I have done that were not involved with anyone. I regret getting rid of certain items. Because of my OCD, I also regret doing certain things to items instead of leaving them alone.

I wish that there was a time machine so that we could go back in time and correct our mistakes.

okay, i made plenty of mistakes. maybe if i did not make any, or, at least, not as many, i would be in a better situation now. but maybe not.

besides, if the situation was better, better in what way, better by how much, and better for how long?

anyways, i do not wish for a time machine. besides, everyone makes mistakes. even what is labelled a "mistake" is often subjective. furthermore, it could've been worse.

and yes, it could have been better. but what if it was better, then what? whooptie do.




Living with regret and guilt is very painful. It is hard to let things go when you realize that you could have made a better decision.

yes, but at the time, you could not use hindsight bias. besides, what if i were to have made all the best decisions, then what? what difference would that have made anyways?

For me, I never regret not doing something.
I mostly regret doing something.

something like that for me. although i do regret not getting diagnosed for autism, depression or gender identity disorder before age 21. but then, minors do not have a legal right to consent for medical treatment. so, i could only have gotten a diagnosis at 18, not at 2 years old. :twisted:



I would rather have not done anything at all than do something and have it turn out to be a really bad decision.

I will admit that I am not the best decision maker.
yes i ain't the best decision maker either. but i ain't the worst one. besides, what is a good decision is sometimes subjective.


I think that we should always get second chances in case we mess up the first time
that ain't happening.

besides, what if you got a second chance and messed up worse, then what?

but i know what you mean. :oops:



Seibelin
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04 May 2017, 5:43 am

I've said a lot of this before! Especially, it seems harder to regret things that were never said. At least, the words and actions said are more vivid than the many possibilities undone and unsaid. The shame and guilt cannot haunt as badly.

Still, I do lately feel shame for personal feelings and actions that I imagine i could do.

I think for me, I get more shame than regret and guilt. I feel bad as a person. And I feel that others must see me in a bad way.
It makes me feel very flawed.

I can regret things from years ago or recently, but for a time I had less social interaction and these feelings went away for a while.



shlaifu
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13 May 2017, 4:19 pm

Oh, god. Sooo much, and it hurts. Actually, not soo much. Only few things, but they are pretty... Big.

I know they say that one should live without regrets and not hold on etc. But I think that qualifies one as a psychopath.
I also think that NTs basically function by being psychopaths.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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13 May 2017, 11:52 pm

There might be something to that. Aspergers people are described as being a bit autistic, so NT people might be described as being a bit psychopathic.


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ZachGoodwin
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14 May 2017, 4:01 am

Many times actually and you can kind of find it in this site.