Society doesn't understand my autism & NT women fear asp

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I'm almost 22, a virgin and only ever had 1 girlfriend which only lasted a few months. I can't seem to ever attract anyone past the first sight.
I consider myself an attractive person, I draw attention to myself..That is until I speak, then I come off as a cluts or an idiot. My lack of facial expression and ineptitude towards being able to lead conversations don't really help either. I've also become very shy and scared of "hitting" on girls because of this, which has lead to me being a single 22 year old virgin with no hopes

i tend to be able to find people... but they never stay happy with me for long in the day-to-day sense... they see my boundaries as arbitrary cause they dont make "sense" to them (or seem important), so they try to "correct" them pretty much by ignoring the boundaries or teasing me about them (if this is supposed to be some sort of "NT" affection, please explain it to me). i know i come off as naive about some things so im used to guys trying to "teach" me stuff all the time... maybe that's it.

but, ive been lied to and tricked as well as loved... which is why it has always been me who has left... cause for some reason, even with us getting into fights daily--fights over why i get so upset over all the things they do to me even though i dont (seem) to try to cater to them... they never seem to grow tired of this stressful situation.

until finding out about AS... i never understood how they could say such nice things about me and why they loved me... yet seem so frustrated with me all the time (as i am always surprised to hear their assessments of my motives; which is usually in the heat of a fight i cant verbally defend...never works out well on my end). makes me think of all the moments i made the decision in a relationship to leave because on some level... i knew how utterly crappy and unforgiving of a person i can be and that they deserved someone they didnt have to walk on eggshells around all the time.

im finally finding the words to describe my rigidness (and it's not fun reading about yourself in textbooks or on here, lol) and am starting to look at every instance with new insight... maybe at somepoint ill feel like giving it a shot again.

but for now... im tired of hurting people. i dont believe in one true love... altough i know love is very real bacause it is validating in and of itself... timing is the key issue. so it doesnt matter whether you've dated a lot or a little. things will happen when they're supposed to.

still dont know what to do with my rigid-bitchiness or how im supposed to successfully navigate communication to either avoid fights or make progress within them... but im kinda hopin it'll just resolve itself when the time comes.

try try again

Honesty is the key to making these
boundaries stick. Still might not work,
but you really have to make it clear
what is and isn't acceptable.

it's about knowing what you want.... how you are and working with both of your (as in accounting for two people) flexibility.

without knowing yourself... you cant know anyone else.... much less resepect their boundaries...

Maybe. Seems more like they can't
respect yours, if you don't know them.

how do you know what you expect from them or what they might expect from if you dont know yourself and your comfort zone...

gotta have something to compare to

Ah, I thought you were saying you couldn't
know their boundary, without knowing yourself.
Which seems wrong: if someone tells me that they
don't want to eat fish, I take it at face value. If I can't
deal with them not eating fish, well - perhaps an attempt
at negotiation is in order - but if they really mean it,
there's no getting them to eat fish.

I'd think you were shooting at innuendo,
if I didn't know that you really hate the things.

If this reassures you any, I'm 23, female, still a virgin, and I've never had a boyfriend. So you're definitely not alone.

(calandale: you made me laugh out loud!)

_________________
Autistic. Jewish. Female. NOT: A person with autism, Judaism and femaleness.

The Game of Life? Heck it's a cellular automaton.

heh he's good at that

Heh 23 and never had a girlfriend. While it would be nice to have female company in my life, I have yet to meet a girl who can meet the challenge of not being one simply out to either use me, leech off me financially, or think of me as a conquest. But still that inner drive for human companionship can make us guys do crazy and stupid things.

Maybe if you allowed yourself to be conquered,
your first statement would change, and the others
as well.