Frankly, some women on date are uber rude.

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So she unexpectedly brings her female friend along to the date, they order a LOT of stuff with alcoholic drinks and deserts too; then at the very moment the waiter brings the bill, they disappear together in the WC for like for 20 minutes; I had to pay all before they come since they were about to close and the guy was waiting, it was like 80 USD (for her meal/dessert/drink and her friend's too) . Then they come back and thanking me for the "treat" without even offering to split anything ; and I was like "Um...you're welcome" like the idiot I am.

I mean, even when my boss invites me to lunch, I keep it to minimum, I wouldn't order a steak and wine with soup and dessert for instance.

Did she know it was supposed to be a date? Usually if it was a date, I'd expect it to be one on one, not bring her friend with.

So when's the second date?

You should have told the man that the women were going to pay then left.

They come out of toilet giggling at their oh so funny free drinks at your expense and boom, they have to pay.

I'd probably just write her number on a few cubicle doors as revenge in your position, you already paid and didn't slap them verbally.

Was she Asian, like Filipino or something?

Indonesians, but some local women did it to me too, the bringing a long a friend thing and make me pays all via embarrassment (ie. pre-thanking me for the treat).

You need to learn when to tell people to feck off.

Some women will treat you like a doormat if you allow it.

Next girl who does that, you say ' Not tonight doll, wise up' and walk away.

It's empowering to say 'NO, ENOUGH!' sometimes to people who are not worth your time.

Some Asian cultures are very much like that, a "date" (especially a meal) is an invitation to bring the whole family.

I never got this concept of man paying stuff. If it was a situation like you're the only one who works and she doesn't have means to pay and so on, it sounds ok but situation like this is scam, they are probably looking for guys to free dinner

Have you already broken up with your gf?

^ yes I found it's pointless since she's leaving after 9 months; but she insisted to see me today and things ended up.... well... let's say we got horny.

I have the feeling that you don't like to have a relationship after all, but maybe it's just me.

But did you ever stand up for yourself and clear up that it was rude of her to just invite her friend along without asking and assuming you could pay for her to and that she shouldn't do it again? If not then all you did was give her positive reinforcement for negative behavior...might want to convey that before the next date or she might make a habit of it.

I think that it wasn't the gf one, I have the feeling that it's a new date. But maybe I am wrong.

Well, I was smartly put into an embarrassing situation to make me sound as if I offered them a treat; there is no socially acceptable way for me to "withdraw" from it without sounding like a cheap man. There's a cultural context in it , it's hard to explain- but let's say it's a pride/saving face thing. But no second date for her of course.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 21 May 2017, 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No, you're right, I think there's something wrong in me, I've became like Aspie1 somehow in this, I am afraid from serious commitments, and it's like I am just wanting to experience dating, hook-ups, sex, like a promiscuous teen or young adult - as if I want to "compensate" my whole totally date-less 20s. It's like I want to acquire enough relationship/sexual experience before I feel confident enough for a real serious relationship, but I know that I am not that young anymore and may never catch up.

Today i had an unexpected sex the whole day, and I went out for a dinner date again with the other girl: viewtopic.php?t=342913 --> Yes, she initiated, she complained about her fight with her boss and she wanted to go out to vent. And I am always the Ready-guy!.
Last time I kissed her on the cheek after escorting her to her apartment but she was like "In South Korea we don't do that on a first date, personal distance is sacred" but tonight I just stood still and she kissed me instead, ....so it's all good.