This is what some women think about when they date you

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Face_of_Boo: I know that many people experience this sort of thing, and that’s why I said what I said.

This is not the first time here that I’ve read “warning” posts like this—and I’m not referring to the one you posted previously--it has given me a strong impression that there’s potentially something being bred here--not deliberately--that could actually do men more harm than good if nothing else is said. As both a woman and one who’s been in a very healthy relationship since 1988, I decided to speak up to help those here who will tell you right up front that they’ve had a hard time attracting and/or keeping girlfriends.

When I spoke of imperfections, I was not talking about gold-digging AT ALL. That is not a “simple imperfection,” as you said; I consider those women to be superficial b!tches. Additionally, the vast majority of women I know don’t think or talk like that—and I have worked almost exclusively with women for a couple of decades. I will continue to find it insulting when anyone--male or female--lumps us together, and will assert my disapproval specifically because, in the minds of those detractors, we're all guilty! Maybe you, yourself, weren't painting me with that broad brush, but how am I to know that--and how are you to know how many non-gold-digging-women are out there if we say nothing? Considering all the malicious stereotypes plastered on women throughout much of history, I will speak up. (Before you pounce, let me say that I try not to overgeneralize anyone, myself. It takes work sometimes, but it's worth it.)

BTW: if you want to talk about being “clear enough,” I will point out that I didn’t even use the word “simple” and that I never would say that men and women don’t have reason to distrust each other. I did, however, say that there’s a balance to be struck between presumed guilt and blind trust; as you yourself said, it’s a problem.

I didn’t post here to piss anyone off; I’m glad that you have a relationship going, and I hope it’s a good one.

That is the sad truth, not suprising at all, besides the fact she was so transparent about it. In my view, women are simply a waste of time, money and overall happiness. I've finally reached the point where I just don't care anymore, I am not even angry at all, I simply don't spend time thinking about it. There's no point in getting upset about something you can't change. Spend your time wisely following your passions instead, no matter how big or small, it is the only thing in life that will actually fulfill you.

It's easy to avoid. Don't do dating. Make sure that your potential partner knows nothing about your status, your income, your job, your interests or your intelligence, and you can be reassured that those that remain actually are capable of unconditional love.

Because the purpose of dating is to disclose this kind of information to a potential partner so they can discard you if you don't meet their expectations. And it is not only job and income but also which cultural subgroup you are in, your abilities and disabilities.

When you do courtship the natural ND way, you will not know any of this information, and when you have bonded together, you will instead merge your interests and cultural preferences in a way that both can live with. Which is why dating is so bad for NDs. It gives none of the interesting attributes of a potential partner.

This makes me sad

I'll throw some other real life experiences into the mix. I have a friend who married a man when she was 19/20 and turns out he's not the kind to be good a keeping a job. They are in their 50s now and she is angry and upset that they don't have a comfortable life like their peers. She wants a Land Rover, but they have a hatchback. It causes friction.

Conversely I know a couple who really don't have much of anything and they are both very happy. They both waited till they were in their 30s to get married because they were holding out for someone like themselves. I can't be too specific because they may use this forum, but they are quirky and awesome and I love them to bits.

My point is, there are definately the kind of people out there who value status over all else, but there are also folks out there who are looking for a real connection.

10,000 a month huh? I don't even know anyone who makes that...I mean surely that will narrow her perspective options having such a ridiculous financial standard.

I believe in the traditional Christian marriage vows, "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health." So if I ever found a man whom I loved, who was poor and sick, I would still marry him and just pray that God would provide what we need.

I cannot believe some people are so selfish in marriage.

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31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."