human disappointment ...

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So I moved recently and it was a big move literally 5 states over. Before I moved I met a guy who I had started dating 3 months. Now I had spent at least 3 months prior talking and hanging out with him and while I didn't intend to date anyone knowing that I would possibly be moving, things just kinda ended up happening. When I started dated him my parents were worried because they felt that aside the fact he was 2 and a half years older then me(I'm 27 and he's 30), the he was too advanced for me. They knew that he had "been around a bit" and they disapproved of the relationship because they felt I wasn't "ready for that" and "didn't know what I was dealing with". 3 weeks after we called it official, he met with my dad after church for my dad to basically tell him that he didn't want him seeing me anymore and for him to see him. He said it wasn't a good time because he felt that he "needed to get his life together" and constantly told me there was no future there.

Because it had only been 3 weeks I kinda brushed it aside almost like "well its still the beginning so its too early to say" and went along talking as the mutual feelings grew. At first my mom was taking him to church with us but after my dad told her not to she stopped bringing him to church and he had to come on his own which he did here and there. A week after dad told me not to see him anymore he loses his job and was taking cabs to the church to come see me which was a huge deal considering he didn't have much money to be throwing around at that point. Now you figure, here's a guy, he's a little atypical but determined in the sense that he came to see me and want to spend time. Even worked hard to gain the trust of my family despite them having major apprehensions from the get go and from there things started to mellow out and they did start to trust him. Enter moving date 6/92017; the day before I moved we hung out and it was really difficult to say good bye for the time being but we knew we'd see each other again so it wasn't so bad.

Moving was a difficult processing being the fact that I never moved before and not to mention SUCH a big move from one state to another. So the first 3 days it took before I got to the destination I was messed up in the head. But I talked and talked to my boyfriend, and he kept me level headed through out the entire process. I wasn't happy about the move at all nor was it my choice to move so I really started to get down and would just feel sad for no reason. It took us several days after the move before we finally got our funiture and was able to sleep in our actual beds and had to stay in the hotel for a few days. Then around that time, I got my period which made things even worse, then we didn't have internet til that weekend as well and while there's a mess load of other stuff that went down. I'm not gonna get into that because I wanna stay on topic here and the topic is currently my boyfriend.

So the day before we got the internet set up, I was improvising a work out for myself being I didn't have the work out videos from the internet to go off of and I kinda had to work it out on my own. My brother calls me at7 or so that evening to tell me that he saw my boyfriend walking into the food establishment with his ex. Now he didn't say they were affectionate, making out, or him grabbing her butt or nothing but the fact that he was there with her really offended him to the point where he confronted him instantly. My brother was pretty heated and he almost got into a fight wit the guy, I figured nothing went down with the ex so I let it go but I was annoyed at the fact that he didn't tell me and I had to find out from my brother. My boyfriend knew it looked bad so after my brother put me on the phone with him and he called back after my brother got off the phone to clean it up he explained the situation and that she "fell on hard times" and he bought her a meal to find out what was going on.

My brother told me to tell mom and while I was gonna tell her he called her back 2 min later and told her himself and my dad was there and got really heated. When mom sent dad up to my room to check on me, my boyfriend had called me back and while we were talking he did put the ex on the phone who's actually someone I know around town. When my dad found out I was on the phone with him he took my phone from my hand and told him not to call me anymore and while he tried to explain to no avail, my dad told me to hang up and to ignore the call and said he's not welcomed to this house ever. Which sucked because he was supposed to come out for my birthday and now my mom said if he comes here, my dad will kill him. I kinda felt like the situation was handled poorly on both sides between my brother and him who would have done better to just "give me a heads up". Then my brother making a scene and all that wasn't good either, nor was it the fact that he told mom and dad when he told me to tell them.

But moving on as I said, I forgave him and brushed that situation off as a coincidence since the only disappointing thing was that he didn't tell me. But as a result of continuing to bother with him, my family stayed on my case intensely as I constantly tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but barely telling them anything due to their overall negativity and refusal to see where I was coming from. My mom even said I was "desperate", "hard up" and "stupid" for continuing to deal with him and that you don't forgive someone for "cheating" even though nothing happened. So then its been about a month since that and a few days ago he moved out of his grandparents to an apartment and got a new job and everything. He worked 2 nights, and then my brother runs into him again outside the mall catching the bus back up to his grandfather's place who he found out was ill. At the time he didn't say why or what happened but an hour prior he told me he was going to work and then less then an hour before the fact(he was supposed to work at 9 pm), he was taking the bus up and "took the wrong bus" and ended up near the mall at the town that my brother went to get his new phone at.

When my brother and his girl were coming out of the mall, they ran into him and he was waiting for the bus to go back to his grandfather's place. Now that was all he told them because I guess he didn't wanna get into details, but they said that he had casual clothes on which is opposite work attire since he works at a warehouse and would most likely wear pants or something but my brother said he had shorts on. Now technically he lied to me because he told me he was going to work and then I find out less then an hour later that he's heading back up to the grandfather's place. Once again I looked really bad because my folks had been on my case all week about him saying that he was a cheater, that he's no good, and that I should cut him loose. Now that this situation went down it gives even further ammo. But then even I am disappointed at being lied to and once you break trust, its very hard to go back. My brother told my mom that I need to just drop him, and that he's lying to me. But my brother who is also a habitual liar had to have his girl confirm that it was indeed my boyfriend that they ran into because my folks don't even trust what he says.

Now my brother has lied to his girl quiet a few times and mom got after him for that. So if this situation is God showing me stuff about my boyfriend then I feel that God is also showing my brother that he needs to clean up his act too. Because he said if she ever drops him that he will kill himself and that's not a good situation to be in. My mom feels that God is talking to me and that I should listen. That we moved 3 months after I got together with this guy, then a week later he's seen with his ex and my brother runs into him at the food place while he's with his girl. Then a month later, he tells me he's going to work and then "something happened to the grandfather" which yet another thing that I had to find out from my brother. I don't know what to feel as I am mostly numb and apathetic since I am generally used to human disappointment. I actually fell out with another person a couple months ago but that's another story for another day. I am disappointed though, there's no doubt about that and between human disappointment and being in a place that I'm really not that happy in I don't know how much of my sanity is going to hold up.

If worse comes to worse I might even go back to shutting myself in if I do have to cut him loose because this will be the second time this year literally a few months apart that I fell out with another human so my view of humanity and the world is not very positive or good right now.