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1Biggles1
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18 Jul 2017, 6:50 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
This lady's talking bullcrap.

Perhaps, people with Asperger's have an DISORDER, say, in experiencing empathy the "correct" way. However, it is incredibly wrong to say that people with Asperger's DON'T experience empathy.


Yes she said this also... She mentioned that we can be kind and considerate but not experience empathy, was quit taken back by that and gave her a number of examples via email about incidents where NT's would walk by in droves of someone needing assistance and only came to help once i helped out... I see far less empathy in NT's than i ever have with those on the spectrum as a personal observation... What she describes above was the episodic memory part of the report. Havent even touched the empathy part yet! lol



1Biggles1
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18 Jul 2017, 6:51 pm

Froya wrote:
Lillikoi wrote:
Froya wrote:
1Biggles1 wrote:
But if you were to think back to a negative time, would you feel those bad emotions?

I don't. I very very rarely feel any emotions connected to memories. I don't remember much at all really. I wonder why that is. Wonder if I have experienced some kind of hell in the past that is the reason for this condition. Anyway, I have never thought this had anything to do with autism.

Hey, that sounds like me. 8O Unless I'm having a meltdown, then it's the complete opposite...

It might be a form of suppression. I mean it's a way that our minds protect us against too painful memories. I think of it as the opposite of PTSD.

Sorry don't mean to derail the thread.



No, not derailing at all! :) all comments and thoughts are welcome. Thats kind of the point ;)
Yes, suppression would also make sense if one feels that pain to be too overwhelming especially if experienced it commonly.



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18 Jul 2017, 7:46 pm

Biggles, I love your musical analogy:

1Biggles1 wrote:
I have thought about this also! ... For many on the spectrum it is as if many of us a living daily with what NT's only experience once in a while... So having so much emotional energy bouncing around is what also takes up alot of daily energy... So when confronted with explaining a negative past experience i am effectively already experiencing said emotion but in a more intensified way and keeping it suppressed and trying to concentrate on explaining said event....
I liken it to that of NT's emotions are like an orchestra, where the violins represent sadness, then the drums in the background represent anxiety/fear, the guitar represent an even tranquility and so on like a flowing river.. Where for me emotions are like a rock concert, always at full and hard to differentiate because they are all at max volume...
Would that be a fair representation for anyone else?



The orchestra versus max volume rock concert seems to express the contrast between emotional presence/awareness versus serious overwhelm and lack of focus on any one emotion.

I would add a third option: the screeching sound of feedback drowning out music, similar to the way one really powerful emotion can drown out nuanced mixed emotions.

And a fourth option: when the background music, which I've been tuning out to some degree all day, suddenly sounds much louder. Looking back, I realize I didn't notice exactly when the musicians started raising the volume on me.

Getting back to the main point of the thread, there are lots of reasons why emotional memory isn't always accurate, both on and off the spectrum.



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18 Jul 2017, 7:56 pm

Thank you DataB4! :)

Have tried to put such experiance into word form for a while and that seemed the closet that could come to explaining it ina universal way. I like your additions also! :)

Yes. I do feel it is rather subjective whether on or off the spectrum including my own experiences and observations of others... Just seemed a rather out of touch statement to make but didnt want to form a full opinion until i heard the thoughts/experiances of others.



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18 Jul 2017, 8:03 pm

^Cool! So my intuitive side does take over for my analytical side now and then. :)



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18 Jul 2017, 10:42 pm

Emotions surrounding memory too powerful.
It would completely wipe me out to talk about some of them so I don't.
This is a roadblock for ever getting therapy for said problems.


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1Biggles1
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18 Jul 2017, 10:47 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Emotions surrounding memory too powerful.
It would completely wipe me out to talk about some of them so I don't.
This is a roadblock for ever getting therapy for said problems.


yeah, i hear you. Hence why i think again why this area is misunderstood. Its not the matter of it being to little as it is too much!



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19 Jul 2017, 12:33 pm

bear in mind that i am not diagnosed

for me when i tell someone about my bad memories i just tell what happened for example " then he said he would let the dogs eat me and i believed it and was really frightened " or " all my cats died and it was the most stressful time in my life " but i don't really feel or express any emotions as if i am talking about someone else, i now it was bad i know who i felt at the time but i think that i just seem like a very cold person toward my younger self and that makes me feel bad and empty actually. :?



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19 Jul 2017, 1:39 pm

As you clearly showed emotion in response one cannot assume as was pointed out by the specialist that those on the spectrum dont feel or experience emotion when explaining certain events. It seems a very mixed bag of either feeling too much or generally having to try to suppress those emotions which isnt really any different from those not on the spectrum it just seems for many that are it is rather amplified which can trigger other sensory responses. One creates their own coping mechanisms therefore it being an individual thing. I still dont think she is right to say that nor enforce that ideology as a generalization. I may ask her for some more solid proof to back up that claim. It just seems very fundamentally wrong to have a specialist in ASD have that view about every one on the spectrum.



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19 Jul 2017, 3:50 pm

1Biggles1 wrote:
anti_gone wrote:
No, of course I relive the bad emotions. This is what's causing my anxiety (or my anxiety is causing the rumination) and my OCD (or vice versa). I often read that aspies tend to over-analyse the same situations all over again.

Sounds more like sociopaths...


Yes that what i thought, minus the sociopathic side... I did actually send her an email yesterday pretty much reexplaining what you just said. That alot of how i feel is because i have such a vivid recollection of events and am often emotionally overwhelmed by them as it is like reliving the experience all over again each time i think about them... Was backed up by someone else i know personally on the spectrum hence why i asked as what she says didn't really add up to my experience nor many others from what i have gathered thus far. The repeating of maybe not so great experiences is maybe down to giving people benefit of the doubt even when intuition says otherwise... I know what it is like being on the receiving end of someone gaslighting and prefer to make my own opinions about someone rather than rely on gossip which in turn has got me into some negative life experiences when naively i have trusted when in hindsight i maybe should have not trusted so much.


I also relive the bad emotions as well and I've had a few flashbacks along with anxiety.


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19 Jul 2017, 3:53 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Emotions surrounding memory too powerful.
It would completely wipe me out to talk about some of them so I don't.
This is a roadblock for ever getting therapy for said problems.


That makes a lot of sense.

I'm not diagnosed, but I recognize this behavior.

I've been seeing a therapist, and I know she thinks I'm not bothered by things that have happened - but it's really a matter of not being able to express feelings. I don't have much language for it, so I tend to tell the facts, not feelings.

Sometimes I'm focusing so much on communication successfully with the person I am talking to that I have no capacity for feeling simultaneously. What I am feeling is mostly stress about being misunderstood.

I saw a report that said about 50 per cent of autistics are alexithymic. The inability to express feelings is, as far as I know, an alexithymic trait. Clearly this does not apply to all autistics.

Also, the repetition of mistakes: can't this be attributed to problems with generalizing? So that in fact the autistic person is not commiting the same mistake over and over again, but rather similar mistakes?


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20 Jul 2017, 10:59 am

Something to add: I sometimes start feeling sick just remembering haven eaten something disgusting (for me this is mostly when I eat meat by accident or some vegetables I don't like). So I guess my emotional reaction is actually too strong and not too weak.



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20 Jul 2017, 11:05 am

Quote:
Also, the repetition of mistakes: can't this be attributed to problems with generalizing? So that in fact the autistic person is not commiting the same mistake over and over again, but rather similar mistakes?


Actually, that's what I thought to. There might be different sources for making similar mistakes again:
-Not being able to generalize. Knowing that you have offended someone doesn't mean you know everything that might offend anyone (it is possible to set up useful rules, though)
-Not having sufficient clues to make the right decision during e.g. a conversation...Not being able to recognize other people's feelings might lead to making the same mistake again.
-Not being able to do stuff because of anxiety or executive function disorder ("I really should do that but I just can't...").