They're the Reason

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People have begged me to be skinny for long enough. Now I'm scared to eat in front of people. I also think about making myself puke a lot. My cholesterol is high and I'm working on losing weight but I'm sick of people who aren't even doctors who push me to be super skinny.

I used to feel like I was worthy of happiness but now I'm thinking about vomiting and making myself nauseous on purpose (thinking about stuff that's gross in my opinion). I can't tell a therapist because they'll either agree with these people who aren't doctors or give me "strategies" that make me feel even worse about myself.

If you make yourself vomit, it will screw up your teeth.

Not worth it.

^I agree. An eating disorder will make everything more difficult long term.
Maybe you could talk with a therapist about the pressure you feel and focus more so on your self esteem/mental wellbeing and less so on your physical wellness which you are already working on.

You do not want to go down that road.

Focus on what you want to do for yourself. And if your therapist is intentionally shaming you, replace the therapist.

After all, their lives are not your life. Your life is your own possession. If others refuse to see the value in it, then seek out people who know where you come from and f**k the haters.

I have seen what eating disorders can do to a person. I wish that upon nobody, not even my fiercest enemies. You deserve better than that. Seriously.

You will lose weight when you are ready... when you've gotten whatever else you need to get in order in order. And you don't have to be super skinny, just a healthy size. I'm in the same boat, overweight too, and my parents (including my mom who's just as overweight as me) are making me feel like I'm ugly at this weight; telling me I'd look so much better if I was skinny. I don't need that... I need them to want me healthy, not skinny for looks as though I'm ugly now. They make me feel so ugly!! My ignoring them is backfiring; it's making them think I'm a harder nut to crack so they lay it on thicker.