I won't allow myself to talk to people first.

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I have this problem where people frequently think I dislike them because I can't and just won't message, speak or call people first. But, I really can't start anything first; they could be busy or something and I just need to be reassured they want to talk to me first, this is usually why I can't keep many friendships either, as I just kinda float away without a word, unintentionally.