ASD partner “not good enough”
But, in some ways, she values me as a friend.
Hmmm. Sounds complicated.
_________________
I sometimes leave conversations and return after a long time. I am sorry about it, but I need a lot of time to think about it when I am not sure how I feel.
I did lots of useful things for her; and she did lots of useful things for me. We helped each other a lot.
Right now, though, our relationship is in "friendship" mode.
What I want, really, is for her to find someone more suitable.
Why sell yourself short like that? She wouldn't marry you if she didn't love you. Have you considered marriage counseling? You could at least have a date night where you go out on the town and treat her to dinner and romance.
In my case, it would be shorter to list who hasn't....
People who have told me variations of "I've wasted my life with an adult version of a 12 year old."
2 psychiatrists
2 internists
3 therapists
2 ER doctors
All of my blood family
A few friends
Random strangers
Coworkers
The worse was the hospitalist who told me my husband was the weirdest person he has ever come across. Mind you, this hospitalist also covers the locked inpatient psych unit and the bulk of the patients have heavy duty mood disorders.
No one is supportive, and if I even voice a minor complaint about my husband, all I ever get now is "Leave" or "Get back to me when you dump his dumb ass."
My complaint may be more small talk than anything else, but everyone drops the nuclear bomb as a helpful suggestion.
Or I get judged as a flawed human because I tolerate my husband's Aspie-ish behaviors. In the line of "She don't love herself."
I'm more free to talk about my relationship online than I ever could in real life.
And obviously I think my husband IS *good enough*.
People who have told me variations of "I've wasted my life with an adult version of a 12 year old."
2 psychiatrists
2 internists
3 therapists
2 ER doctors
All of my blood family
A few friends
Random strangers
Coworkers
The worse was the hospitalist who told me my husband was the weirdest person he has ever come across. Mind you, this hospitalist also covers the locked inpatient psych unit and the bulk of the patients have heavy duty mood disorders.
No one is supportive, and if I even voice a minor complaint about my husband, all I ever get now is "Leave" or "Get back to me when you dump his dumb ass."
My complaint may be more small talk than anything else, but everyone drops the nuclear bomb as a helpful suggestion.
Or I get judged as a flawed human because I tolerate my husband's Aspie-ish behaviors. In the line of "She don't love herself."
I'm more free to talk about my relationship online than I ever could in real life.
And obviously I think my husband IS *good enough*.
You know, Tawaki......every now and again there are some NT ladies who show up on WP and talk about their aspie guys, and sometimes one gets the feeling that they are suckers for punishment, because, you know, it doesn't work for them, or their aspie guy is just not nice. I never got that feeling from you, though, you seem to just love your guy and have a plan, and your posts make a lot of sense.
Just my 2c.
_________________
I sometimes leave conversations and return after a long time. I am sorry about it, but I need a lot of time to think about it when I am not sure how I feel.
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