Emotion overload while watching embarassing scenes in movies

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"The Office" on NBC. I like the show; it's hilarious. But at the same time I find watching the boss character, Michael, with a sense of dread and a kind of almost personal embarrassment at what he's going to do next. Now that I think about it, he's like a really exaggerated caricature of an Aspie. Totally clueless to the utter inappropriateness of his actions, and yet he's really not a bad or evil guy and he just wants to be loved. I guess subconsciously I have been sort of identifying with that character.

Of course a real ASpie wouldn't really be outgoing enough to actually DO and SAY the things he does. It's more the fear of looking that way to others.

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Do the voices in my head bother you?

I'm worse than you. I have to leave the room. Or if I have to find out what happens, I pace and throw my hands around.

I get that

Yeah, I have that pretty bad myself. Its not so much with American Pie, most comedies I think do a good job of situating the characters to where they don't seem TOO vulnerable. Even though I liked a lot of stuff on Crank Yankers there were lots of skits I had to turn off because for one it was getting too weird and secondly it really made me cringe thinking that its real life and they're talking to someone on the other end who has no idea what's going on (one I can think of was Sarah Silverman talking about getting molested in a store, the way she was going on about that to the store owner was just creepy). I also have trouble watching movies like Freddy Got Fingered just on how juvenile the view of reality is and how weird the characters are, Chicago - same movie different actors and a bit more crass with cause and consequence, Stranger Than Fiction just based on 70% of what Will Farrell's character does, I could probably go on for a while.

I also have trouble looking at freeze-frames of people's faces or really intense or weird emotional projection. One example - We were in the theater watching the thirds LOTR and a 30 second shot of Elija Wood smiling at Sam was a little unsettling.

The term is faux pas, french for false move. It bothers an aspie(sometimes) because its a breach of unwritten rules. We might not be very good at social behavoir, but when we see an obvious mistake effected by others, we cringe. Its an example of a situation where we are good at empathy. we can imagine ourselves breaking that rule, because we have walked on egg shells(so to speak) for so long. We have felt the expected reaction from others many times.

This happens to me in real life (I watch movies very rarely).

- pka SocialParadox -

I only find it embarrasing when watching films like u mentioned, american pie, with other ppl, let alone someone in my family, hehe, thats not the kind of movies to watch with them i guess.
But i always find my mum and sis (both As) really embarrassed when watching a film and a couple suddenly start kissing each other..i mean like not really hard stuff, just simple kissing, my mum would go criticizing it or zapping to watch somthing else...
I never understood why so much fuss about a simple kiss!!, like its a natural thing, and im old enough to see it u know, its not that im 6 anymore. But then i realized it wasnt because of me, its just her, who gets embarrassed so easily with things she consider not "proper" to watch..
sorry its hard to explain for me in english, i dont know if you can understand my point here, anyway, i guess what us nt find "normal, natural" , you dont, and viceverse, sometimes. Maybe that would be an explanation.

This just makes me wonder what are you ppl like when intimate situations with your bf/gf ? i dont mean to be rude just wondered if you feel as embarrassed as watching that kind of films or you feel comfortable enough and let yourself go without restrictions? (does that word make sense here?) I mean, are you liberal on this matter or too classical compared to other Nt ppl you know?

Hope you dond mind me asking this here, just simple curiosity, no need to answer if you dont like it.

I think that's a very good question. I have AS but I was raised by my dad and stepmom in an NT household. They were very physically demonstrative with each other, so were my NT grandparents. So I grew up feeling comfortable with public displays of affection, watching love/sex scenes in movies, etc. because I was comfortable with the emotions behind them. My AS mom, on the other extreme, seems very asexual and has always been very uncomfortable watching love scenes, or even discussing sexual topics. My AS stepdad behaves the same way. They are two attractive people, yet they've never really had any sexual chemistry between them, my mom admits this. I grew up actually feeling uncomfortable for them in that regard. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with AS and started researching it, that I discovered that it's pretty common for those with AS to be uncomfortable with sexual intimacy, discussions, etc.

I wonder how much of this discomfort comes from a person's individual AS issues, versus the example they may have been given by their potentially-AS parents. Don't know!? It's interesting.

I hate watching movies with other people (I usually watch downloaded movies by myself, if I ever do actually watch a movie). I have next to no feelings when watching movies and the whole thing just passes along for me. At the same time, the other people are having all sorts of emotions. I also cringe when I am watching a sexual part of a movie with other people, I find it very embarrasing even though I am 17.

Movies just don't interest me, unless they are truly horrific.

I get that big time. It's one of the major reasons I do not watch movies much--I feel I have to leave the room if it gets too embarassing. At least this is better than it was as a child--then I would race full speed out of the room until I couldn't hear the movie anymore. Now I can walk until I'm out of hearing distance, or if I HAVE to can stay in the room. It's not a pleasant experience, though, and it's why I don't feel terribly comfortable in movie theaters.

i get emotion overload when i watch tv shows, you dont even want to know. its way to bizzare

I get VERY nervous/uncomfortable/whatever too, but only with very specific situations. The vast majority of movies/shows/games I watch don't do that to me. I can't really think of an example in a fictional context, but I cringe when I hear Robert Kennedy on Ring of Fire call up a corporation or senator's office or whatever to ask for an explanation about something. I mean it's a good thing, and it needs to be done, but for some reason it's like nails on a chalk board level of discomfort for me (well, worse than that, but...)

Someone mentioned The Office, and that kind of did the same thing to me too. Just made me really uncomfortable a lot of the time. That, plus it not being funny to me made me drop watching it.

Regarding sex scenes-I can be embarrassed by those, or by emotionally strong scenes, if I'm with others, but that's a VERY different sensation from what I'm describing above. Totally separate thing, and far less unpleasant.

Totally!! ! I was this way with the forty year old virgin. thank for making a post about this

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I think that's a very good question. I have AS but I was raised by my dad and stepmom in an NT household. They were very physically demonstrative with each other, so were my NT grandparents. So I grew up feeling comfortable with public displays of affection, watching love/sex scenes in movies, etc. because I was comfortable with the emotions behind them. My AS mom, on the other extreme, seems very asexual and has always been very uncomfortable watching love scenes, or even discussing sexual topics. My AS stepdad behaves the same way. They are two attractive people, yet they've never really had any sexual chemistry between them, my mom admits this. I grew up actually feeling uncomfortable for them in that regard. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with AS and started researching it, that I discovered that it's pretty common for those with AS to be uncomfortable with sexual intimacy, discussions, etc.

I wonder how much of this discomfort comes from a person's individual AS issues, versus the example they may have been given by their potentially-AS parents. Don't know!? It's interesting.[/quote]

Thanx for answering my question, that´s exactly what i felt about my mum, you described it perfectly, asexual, uncomfortable watching love scenes or even discussing sexual topics.

So like you said, depending on the environment you were brought up, being an As you can be comfortable or not with public displays of affection, i see now.
Actually i dated an As a while ago, i didnt know at the time he was As, but i do now, and he wouldnt mind public displays of affection however i felt he was a bit inhibited or restrained, if you know what i mean, more than what it is expected for a 30 year old grown man, and he wouldnt have an initiative at all when it comes to sex. I didnt mind that too much thou, cos afterall he was open minded in intimacy matters, and whats more important, his honesty, and sweetness would make up for the other things. We split up cos he had to go back to his country, and distance is too bad for a relationship, i still miss him thou..anyway, hehe, sorry, mmm.

So answering to your question, unnamed, I do think some or a lot of the discomfort would come up from a person´s individual AS issues but it can be bigger or lesser? (whatever the rite word is..) depending on how you have been brought up, by NT parents or AS.

As for me, being a NT but having an AS mum, i felt pretty much guilty when i was a teenager since my "asexual " mum would criticize my friends going out with guys and all sexual topics, (who other mums would find natural) as i would feel just like my friends but felt it was not a natural thing to do since my mum wouldnt like it. It wasnt until i was 17 or so that i realized i was different to her, and that it was natural to feel sexual, if u know wat i mean, so from then on,things my mum would say or think didnt bother me anymore and so i started being more independant than before.

Sorry, i did the quoting thing wrong, i was quoting Unnamed

I'm 34, but I still have vivid memory of how awful it was for me at age 11, being in same room when my g'father had news on tv with report of child sexual abuse. I recall the sense of wanting to drop through a hole in the floor, or float up into a corner of my brain & hide-what I now know is called disossciating. Neither of us acknowledged the other or said anything at all about it, either. Just to make clear in case of misunderstandings, I've never been abused sexually.
So many comments I'd quote here but it would take even longer to write all this & post it.
Been waiting for someone somewhere to explain this, or at least to find out I'm not the only one.
I'm not a prude-but I am frustratingly squeamish. I'm very curious about biological things & how mean humans can be, and at same time I find such info. disturbing & upsetting. Cannot resolve this paradox into a sensible thought.
Torture is torture to watch/hear/witness-even in case where it's fiction intended as entertainment instead of documentary. I don't like to see others being degraded, put down, exposed to ridicule on basis of something unfair. I have malice in my heart but no killer instinct-am defensive only.
Sex depictions embarrass me into having to look away/cover my ears, it's worse when someone's co-experiencing it with me. This (whatever we wish to call it-being painfully modest in some ways, uncomfortable with situations that seem humiliating or vulnerable) does impact my sex life.