Extreme anger at a new family development.

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My mother is going to have an invasive heart surgery next month. And I have heard her telling her friends about how her doctor grilled her hard over the fact that she lived with her heart problems without seeing a doctor about them for five years because she did not want anybody in her family to be a hypochondriac and because doctors are a waste of money in her opinion.

This b***h kept on telling me for years that mental health care was a luxurious privilege that I could easily live without if I were not a weak hypochondriac. She kept on telling me that going to doctors was a waste of money, even when my doctor sent me to the ER one time because I was vomiting blood. And now I find out that she is pathologically incapable of taking care of herself, and she still thinks she knows what is best for me. I knew she was not taking care of herself for a while, seeing how she still covered her Egg Mcmuffins with salt packets after she had a stroke. This just reaffirms what I already knew.

My mother's denial is literally killing her. And there is nothing I can do about it. And she gets angry when I express that I do not want to go down that same road myself, which is f*****g callous BS.

I mean, when I started eating a clean and healthy diet a couple of years ago, she was not happy about it. She was frustrated because she thought I was being selfish for not eating extremely unhealthy food when she served it to me.

So, I eat mostly healthy food, but I drown it down with bourbon, but I am going to cut out the alcohol because I see what she has turned herself into, and I cannot keep walking that same road.

This is frustrating. I do not like being around anybody who is destroying themselves and using the sheer forces of denial to condone the act of slow motion suicide.

Last edited by KagamineLen on 16 Nov 2017, 11:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

<([{hugs}])>

Do you any friends or family than can help? You sound lime you’re in a very toxic environment.

1) You have a right to be angry.

2) Good for you for not wanting to go down the same road. You have a right to do what's best for you. And that's the wise thing, too.

3) I am sorry you have to deal with this.

4) Sending up prayers for you.

Yes, I have friends that can help me through this. I also decided that perhaps I should join AA. I have been in SAA for a while, but my abuse of alcohol is something I need support with in order to stop. Alcohol is not doing me any favors at all. I will hit a meeting tomorrow.

It sucks that I have to see somebody else self destruct before my very eyes for me to realize that I was walking that same path to a lesser degree.

Well at least your mother has set an example of what not to be like. I wish there was some way to help her. Although mothers have a tendancy to see things only from their perspective.

She does not want to be helped, nor does she want to help herself. She wants to stay in denial and live behind a neverending string of excuses that she uses to justify the destruction she causes on herself and on others.