My brief experience as an NT

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Before I ever heard of AS, I tried Prozac and was one of those people who overreacted to the drug. It gave me an irresistable craving for alcohol and I had to stop taking it. I know drugs aren't supposed to have ann effect on AS, so I don't know what to make of my situation.

Anyway, the very first night on Prozac I slept deeply without anxiety. The next morning, one of my first thoughts was a sudden realization that I had no pension plan and was not paying any social security. I felt like I had suddenly awakened to reality.

Soon after that, I started to contemplate something about the meaning of life and I just told myself that we can't know about such things and not to waste my time on it. And I DROPPED IT! I dismissed the passion of my life without a second thought.

The main reason for trying the drug was my increasing indecision. On Prozac I had no trouble making decisions. They weren't especially good decisions, but I had no second thoughts about them.

I soon found myself WANTING TO BE AROUND other people. I actually cared LESS about people than I did before, but I needed their company. I was friendlier, but it was somehow shallow. I felt disconnected from 'spirit.'

I've always been overly sensitive, but on Prozac comments that would have hurt or offended me had no effect at all, and I suddenly thought, 'Ha! This is how they do it! This is how they all get along so easily!'

So I was suddenly concerned for my financial future, sociable, easy going and shallow. I saw my whole prior life as little more than the side effects of depression but didn't spend much time contemplating the situation. I don't know how long I would have stayed on the drug if it hadn't been for the uncontrollable alcohol side effect.

When I stopped taking the drug because of the alcohol abuse and my old self slowly reemerged, I felt strongly that the REAL me had returned, not just symptoms of depression. I felt connected to the Cosmos again. And I felt that any problems that I had were well worth putting up with. I had been hollow on Prozac.

I am easier on what are now called NTs because of my experience. They are under the influence of their own brain chemistry. They're not pretending. They really feel that way. I am more aware of my own sensitivity and try not to pay any more attention to slights than I did when I was on Prozac. I do not expect anyone else to be too interested in my musings or obsessions. I chose following my Bliss over financial responsibility.

And you figure that the fact that they REALLY believe it means they are innocent? So it isn't an arbitrary conspiracy against a person, but an instinctual one against a group. WHOOPEE! Frankly, that doesn't make any difference to me.

Steve

When I talked about their brain chemistry, I was thinking about their behavior with each other. I had never really liked NTs and didn't want much to do with them.

I now know what it means to be over-sensitive from their point of view, and I try not to let 'little' things that were NOT meant to hurt me eat at me for days.

I did not mean to justify real rudeness or hatefullness or abuse on their part. I had no increased sense of antipathy on Prozac. I do not accept it in anyone.

I'll try LSD to understand those hippies

anyway, very interesting reading. And yes, I find myself maybe too sensitive to comments, would be nice to know more about that "nt" world.

Another thing....

Growing up I was sometimes treated with a bit of contempt by my family for being cold and unforgiving. On Prozac, I saw that I wasn't that much different than an NT. It was the scale of reaction that was different. On a NT scale of 1 to 10, 1 being a slightly offensive remark and 10 being a vicious hate crime, I saw that my reactions (Aspi reactions?) were about 5 points higher. I might react to an insult like an NT would react to an act of violence.

Most NTs wouldn't pressure a victim of a violent crime to forgive and forget quickly, but an Aspie is expected to treat his or her intense hurt as no big deal. We're expected to forgive what is to us a #5 offense with the ease that an NT would forgive a #1. That's how it seemed to me, anyway.

Royal Rainbow!

much easier being an NT isnt it

i remember medication i used to take would work well for the first day or so then wear off after that. i remember not focusing too much on my face in the mirror not worrying about what i wore too much... didnt have to wrack my brain anymore trying to keep my mind on track, so i could focus more on the future

walked into the phychiatrists room thinking "im healed " and then the doctor saying "great my job from here is to maintain/keep a check on you etc".. then the next session going

not that it matters anyway.. its fun thinking/focusing on aspects of the day that other people arent

I don't have anything to add, as it's becoming rapidly apparent that I've been a flaming aspie all my life, in disguise for most of it, and never a real NT at all. But I did want to thank you for posting this, because it's very interesting.

Very interesting. I noticed that I was less vulnerable while being on dexamethasone. Also I think that some NT-s are trying to overcome injury by talking -- moaning to everyone around there.

I don't know what it is, but antidepressants cause cravings for alcohol in many people. A lot of doctors deny it as a coincidence, but it's so common. Maybe it's a carb craving thing.

Before I went on antidepressants, I used to like mixed drinks occasionally, but after I went on one, I stopped drinking those and started to crave wine instead. It's not about how it makes me feel, I just really love the taste. Isn't that strange?

WOW! That sounds realy freaky, am so glad I'm AS if thats how they see the world. And they say we're nuts!....

Where can i get some of this Prozac you speak of?

Your doctor.

I'm not sure I would characterise the effects from prozac as making one neurotypical.
My theory is it likely reduces social anxiety permitting more social encounters but not effecting real social cognition so you do not develop close relationships a NT would.

Its also considered the most stimulating of the SSRIs and has limited ability to treat ADHD. That could have been the mechanism in which it was improving some of your non-social life choices. That seems to be supported by the notion that you said it did not
make some of your choices the most ideal. With untreated ADHD you will have very creative solutions to problems that you have a hard time getting done. With treatment you will loose some of that creativity but have for more drive to get something done.

A pill may not teach someone, I agree. Maybe it makes one teachable. I would like to spend less time on worthless reflections and more on learning what I really need to learn (AspBurger wrote about thinking of sense of life).

I liked your post, I agree to what you say about how you cared less about people, and its true, you have to if your gonna associate with many. Although its kind of a given that its truly not this way, you obviously care about what they think because it helps one better oneself and try different things to change, but a person must not take many social conversations or comments to heart. If you don't let people change how your feeling(in a bad way) then your on your way to being comfortable with yourself, which in someways could be taken shallow because your not truly expressing yourself. But maybe this is something everyone tries to work on, trying to use their "spirit"(their true self) while conversing, though im sure not everyone is always satisfied.

I still have some days where im just confused about socializing, is it hard for me because im not good at it, or because is it just dont feel up to the task at that moment.