Been rejected too many times in 5 years. My spirit is broken

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CubsBullsBears
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24 Nov 2017, 4:10 pm

Since my hormones turned up in 6th grade, All I've ever wanted was a girlfriend to light up my boring world. Unfortunately, there has been very few times when that's happened. My first girlfriend was in 7th grade. And after 2 weeks, she broke up with me, we got back together for a week, then one night, I tried tongue kissing her, and after we went our separate ways, she broke up with me over text. In 8th grade, I dated a girl for, about 10 days before she broke up with me. I went to another school for my 9th and 10th grade year, and I dated a few girls during that time, but looking back at it, let's just say it was really just me looking for someone to date and they had interest in me. Not because I was truly attracted to them. during that same time, there were several other times when I had interest in a girl, only for them to, about 90% of the time, say that they're already dating someone.

I'm now in 11th grade, and back at the school I was at for 7th and 8th.


Several of my peers, at both of the aforementioned schools, have been in a relationship for months, maybe years. Comparing that to what I just said about myself, it hurts me deeply.

A month ago, a girl I had a thing for found me on Facebook and started talking to me. After talking to her for a couple days, I was convinced she was interested in me. So I went ahead and asked her if she wanted to go out on a date(as opposed to asking her if she wanted to be my girlfriend that soon, which would be more acceptable in Middle school). She told me that she had a BF.

Just last week, A friend introduced me to a girl who seems to have a bright and bubbly attitude, which was a big reason why I have feelings for her. And of course, based off of what I saw on her snapchat story, she has a boyfriend too. Leaving me pretty upset today.

The question I've always had is, how are a lot of my peers in relationships while I can't find anyone to click with myself?
As if I haven't felt this before, I'm wondering wether I'll ever find someone. This has happened too to me too many times, while my peers have had the same boyfriend/girlfriend for a long time and have.

Thanks for any answers.



kraftiekortie
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24 Nov 2017, 4:26 pm

It really wasn't "in the cards" for me when I was in high school. I didn't even get a "proper" girlfriend until 12th grade. I was a short kid, and I looked young. I was also immature, and prone to talking too much in class and having a few tantrums.

Many times, people who are unsuccessful in high school become more successful later on. It's because both boys/men and girls/women mature in many cases, I believe. Priorities change.



sly279
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24 Nov 2017, 7:05 pm

Try 17-18 years and never had a gf.
Never had a second date even.
If you got a gf in high or middle school even if short and get female attention you’ll likely get more relationships when your older.



Closet Genious
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24 Nov 2017, 7:29 pm

The best thing you can do is just focus on your education, and the women will come eventually.



Fireblossom
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25 Nov 2017, 4:10 am

It's unfortunate that you feel down because of it, but you are still young. Very young, so try not to worry about it too much.



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Nov 2017, 4:38 am

Closet Genious wrote:
The best thing you can do is just focus on your education, and the women will come eventually.



and most importantly he should choose a lucrative major.

OP, choose a STEM field, please do not do a useless degree!



traven
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25 Nov 2017, 4:47 am

17? don't worry!!

it's peer- and society pressure upon you
why? -- basicly it's distraction and hold-you-back from achieving what you're capable of achieving

go to school, learn a skill, whatever it is that gives access to a decent life



supguysfriedchicken
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27 Nov 2017, 2:43 am

You've already been more successful than me in my entire life. 31 and still have not even had a short term girlfriend. You'll be fine.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Nov 2017, 6:07 am

Unlike all others here, I have a different stance.

You MUST start worrying, just because you are seen as 'too young' doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

The fact that your peers had relationships means there's something wrong, the "you're still too young" narrative will just make you think that the problem will go away magically after you go to college or after you graduate from college - a lot of male teens did this mistake including myself - DO NOT make this mistake, many adult aspie males here can confirm that it's not the case, it doesn't get easier with age or with later life stages - on the contrary, it gets harder to meet new people usually after age 25. We males do not mature sexually in the eyes of the opposite sex just by age virtue, age and physical maturity aren't enough for us males.

So yes, it's understandable that you are worried and you should be so and you must start to try to identify your flaws in order to fix and improve.

Do NOT listen to the "You're still too young" narrative, time passes so quickly. The bright side that you have more time now to fix your flaws and improve yourself.



Closet Genious
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27 Nov 2017, 7:29 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Unlike all others here, I have a different stance.

You MUST start worrying, just because you are seen as 'too young' doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

The fact that your peers had relationships means there's something wrong, the "you're still too young" narrative will just make you think that the problem will go away magically after you go to college or after you graduate from college - a lot of male teens did this mistake including myself - DO NOT make this mistake, many adult aspie males here can confirm that it's not the case, it doesn't get easier with age or with later life stages - on the contrary, it gets harder to meet new people usually after age 25. We males do not mature sexually in the eyes of the opposite sex just by age virtue, age and physical maturity aren't enough for us males.

So yes, it's understandable that you are worried and you should be so and you must start to try to identify your flaws in order to fix and improve.

Do NOT listen to the "You're still too young" narrative, time passes so quickly. The bright side that you have more time now to fix your flaws and improve yourself.


Standing ovation



Sabreclaw
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28 Nov 2017, 3:31 am

If you worry about it and get nowhere, you'll always feel down. If you don't worry about it, then it won't matter if you do or don't get a girlfriend.

Of course, that's easier said than done.



RetroGamer87
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30 Nov 2017, 7:28 pm

After your next birthday you can try a dating site. Perhaps you'll have better luck there.


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pineapplehead
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03 Dec 2017, 4:15 am

Girlfriends are overrated. Your time is spent better on yourself.