OK to wish ex Happy Birthday?

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ilnja
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04 Jan 2018, 3:11 am

Hello, I am wondering if my aspie ex-boyfriend would appreciate my wishing him a Happy Birthday? Or if he would prefer I not contact him? We haven't spoken in 6 months and his birthday is coming up. If I were to wish him a Happy Birthday it would be via email. Thanks in advance for any and all replies.



honeymiel
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04 Jan 2018, 3:36 am

Depends who ended it and how it ended. You haven't spoken in 6 mths so it might not be wise, aspie or not, to bring up those emotions on his birthday

If he, for example, wouldn't have many people wishing him happy birthday, then maybe it's a good idea



ilnja
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04 Jan 2018, 3:53 am

He ended it. We were friends in 2016 for 5 months, then said we needed to go our separate ways. Eight months later he called to apologize and we reconnected. Three months later we started dating. We dated without his family knowing because I'm 10 years older than him and his family wouldn't approve. After a month of dating and saying "I love you" to one another he was ready to tell his mom about us. She didn't approve and a couple days later he broke up with me. We still saw each other twice after that. The last time I saw him, he held my hand, hugged me, told me he loved me and we kissed. His last communication was a text apologizing for leading me on (things were getting hot and heavy the last time we saw each other). After a month I emailed him. Then again two months later and no response from Him either time. I still love him and I believe he sincerely loved me too.



honeymiel
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04 Jan 2018, 4:03 am

ilnja wrote:
He ended it. We were friends in 2016 for 5 months, then said we needed to go our separate ways. Eight months later he called to apologize and we reconnected. Three months later we started dating. We dated without his family knowing because I'm 10 years older than him and his family wouldn't approve. After a month of dating and saying "I love you" to one another he was ready to tell his mom about us. She didn't approve and a couple days later he broke up with me. We still saw each other twice after that. The last time I saw him, he held my hand, hugged me, told me he loved me and we kissed. His last communication was a text apologizing for leading me on (things were getting hot and heavy the last time we saw each other). After a month I emailed him. Then again two months later and no response from Him either time. I still love him and I believe he sincerely loved me too.


Yeah but you don't want to be with someone who relies so heavily on his mother's approval for who he can date. She may have a point anyway, a 10 year age gap might be inappropriate depending on what either of you want to get out of the relationship.

Just be honest with yourself about why you are wishing him a happy birthday. You're not just being polite, you're also fishing for a response. Don't be disappointed if you don't get one or if you do and it isn't the one you're hoping for.

Family issues that break up a relationship are unlikely to be resolved



ilnja
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04 Jan 2018, 4:06 am

You are right. Thank you.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jan 2018, 4:25 am

From which culture he is? This sounds so Eastern.



ilnja
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04 Jan 2018, 11:21 am

He's Nigerian-American. I am Mexican-American.



AngelRho
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04 Jan 2018, 8:17 pm

I say go ahead. There’s no harm in it, no real reason NOT to. Just don’t expect much in return.