Bullying & Social Understanding in the Complete...
12 Jan 2018, 4:21 pm
Bullying and Social Cues in Tony Attwood's "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome"- by S. C. Sullivan
About two weeks ago, I started writing about this magnificent book, not realizing the many practical things that people could understand and reflect on after reading it. It was around Christmas, and I kept thinking about all of the people with Asperger's (now called High-Functioning Autism), and people I suspect have it. They have really had a largely positive effect on me, and one of the things I'm looking to achieve with this series of articles is to bring honor and respect to those who've had to deal with this condition or attribute, especially when it comes to bullying. It is fitting that we should do this, seeing as chapter 4 has to do with bullying that happens (often) to some with High-Functioning Autism.
Chapter 5 is similar, showing how some of the more common difficulties or deficits that some with HFA have in reading other people. It's called "Theory of Mind", and I must say that I only tried to grasp or use this concept since college. It didn't occur to me until I was a freshman at Butler University, in Indianapolis, Indiana, that this was actually a thing. I always knew that there hidden meanings in social interactions, body language, and how people use their eyes, but I had to work extra hard in order to read them. In the next few paragraphs, I'm going to use practical experience to explain the information in the chapters, rather than only quoting Attwood and the dozens of other autism researchers mentioned in the book.
When I attended high school, there was an unusually high number of students who were on the autism spectrum. The total number of students, with and without autism, skyrocketed from freshman year to senior year; it moved up from around 960 students to around 1200. After I graduated, the number fell a bit and became relatively stable, but at that point, I'd gone on to college and practical job training. Nonetheless, I'm going to talk about some of these unique students, as I found myself befriending a few of them.
One student in my class found herself a frequent target for bullies. She often couldn't make it to class on time, couldn't find the time to finish assignments, and wasn't comely. She was really behind the proverbial 8-ball, and was often so physically ill that she had to leave school. I attended a private school that prided itself on academic and moral excellence, but there were some who didn't take these ideas seriously. This poor girl on the autism spectrum and I became friends during our junior year, but those who bullied her decided to bully me as well. That was how things went through graduation, and even a few years later, when seeing this person on a city bus (I had to take a city bus as a project for college), the years of torment still spoke volumes in her appearance, speech, and general demeanor. The researchers in Tony Attwood's book estimate that bullying can leave scars for 10 or more years for someone without any form of autism. I can only imagine how much more people like my classmate have been affected by past bullying.
Somewhere in the middle of Chapter 4, Tony Attwood states that people with HFA are greater targets for bullying because they often work or play on their own. Bullies look for people who are alone. Bullies also tend to deceive people with HFA into doing something inappropriate or embarrassing in one or more ways. I remember a teenager at my high school who was bullied in these sorts of ways. Attwood states that people with HFA tend to have higher moral and ethical standards than some people without it. This guy was a year younger than me, but was in some classes with me during my Senior year. He certainly fit this description, even refusing to swear or talk in a disrespectful way about others.
He was targeted for two main reasons: (1) not understanding deception, and (2) holding firm to his ultra-conservative beliefs. He held them so firmly that he did not like to talk about anything considered inappropriate. Those types of things embarrassed him, and when he did try to stand up for his point-of-view, his tone of voice would squeak, or his voice would crack. Then, he would be bullied for that. Bullies like to pick people apart, and make them feel like an outsider, or even, in this poor kid's words, a "freak." According to Attwood, bullies can not only disrupt self-esteem in those they target, but they can even convince their targets of things about them that very well might not be, and probably aren't, true. The things people did to bully him shocked and horrified him, delaying or stopping all hope of being able to stand up for himself.
In chapter 5, Attwood's chapter on Social Cues and Theory of Mind, the main idea is that, while a person on the spectrum can learn Theory of Mind over a period of time, they may not grasp it as quickly, or as thoroughly, as someone who isn't on the spectrum. Theory of Mind is the notion that one can, in essence, "mind read" other people via their body language, gestures, eye movement, etc. This is a crucial stage in human development because it allows those who are proficient at it to connect with others on a deeper, more meaningful level, as opposed to those for whom it is lagging or impaired.
Empathy is a major component of Theory of Mind, and as Attwood rightly explains, doesn't mean that people on the spectrum don't have empathy, as some have been taught. It simply means that those with HFA or autism need extra training to come closer to a suitable level of Theory of Mind and empathy operations. I personally feel that some of the people on the spectrum have deeper emotions and feelings than those on the outside, but may struggle to express them until such stress happens that they can't hold them in anymore. Using Theory of Mind is far from impossible, but may tax the energy of some with HFA/Autism more than a person without it.
In conclusion, we need to get away from the idea that those with these attributes don't care about others, or that they are responsible for the difficulties they face. As a society, we tend to look for perceived negative attributes in an individual or group, and use that to bully them; let's stop doing that right now. It might be especially difficult for some with HFA/Autism to perceive others and the world as thoroughly as others can, but there have been more and more research articles showing that many people with an impaired or delayed Theory of Mind can, over time, improve those abilities. There are even tests and workbooks devoted to hypothetical stories and events that seek to zero in on Theory of Mind difficulties, as a means of helping those with High-Functioning Autism to make up for these possible deficits. Thank you for reading this article.
