Do any of you feel because you have autiusm you are selfish

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neptunekh
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16 Jan 2018, 1:59 am

Do you ever find the way you care about people seems like bullshit because of having a condition? My disorder effects my judgment but its not an excuse. Its like I don't know how to care about other people including friends sometimes. I feel the way sometimes care about is bullshit. I just want to be less selfish with people and know the way I care about other people is bs (pardon my language). Its like I hate myself and I would like to live in sunny San Diego California instead of the rain in British Columbia just to feel psychologically to be close to the San Diego Zoo and comic con. Do of any you think living in San Diego would make a difference to how I feel?



auntblabby
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16 Jan 2018, 2:15 am

neptunekh wrote:
Do you ever find the way you care about people seems like bullshit because of having a condition? My disorder effects my judgment but its not an excuse. Its like I don't know how to care about other people including friends sometimes. I feel the way sometimes care about is bullshit. I just want to be less selfish with people and know the way I care about other people is bs (pardon my language). Its like I hate myself and I would like to live in sunny San Diego California instead of the rain in British Columbia just to feel psychologically to be close to the San Diego Zoo and comic con. Do of any you think living in San Diego would make a difference to how I feel?

no matter, you can't run away from yourself or flee the reflection in the mirror. BUT- a change of scenery is a good distraction that may buy you time to work on yourself and your self-image as well as gain some social relating skills. you can do it. :wtg:



Tibergrace
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16 Jan 2018, 3:28 am

I don't think it makes me selfish. Maybe in the past, when I was a child, but not in the present. I am very prone to speak my mind, but I put a lot of consideration into the feelings of others in IRL interactions, generally speaking. If someone angers me or if I perceive someone as mean or rude, I will lose that consideration, or if I really disagree with something and someone is trying to press it, I'll start to just speak my mind.

There are times were I have been really emotional, feeling extremes of emotions, like a roller-coaster ride. An emotional roller-coaster. I rarely get angry, I just cry a bunch instead lol. The "emotional roller-coaster" generally happens when I'm really stressed out, or when my hormones are fluctuating too much or riding too high. During times like that I will often be overly empathetic and way too nice to people as a result. That said, such times are rare, and for the past month I've been pretty low on emotion. I've removed all the things that really stress me out from my life - the core sources of new or continued stress - and I've become a lot more stable as a result.

I used to be extremely selfless, especially towards people I cared about, until it got me into a really bad situation. The selflessness dug me even deeper into that situation, until I snapped and got out of it.



wrongcitizen
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16 Jan 2018, 4:47 am

I feel very selfish and I feel guilty as well. I care for my family and friends but I just take too much for myself. I always over indulge. I spend a lot of time away from others and I sometimes unintentionally exploit their kindness without realizing what they're doing for me. I can't talk to anyone at all. Makes you kind of Sociopathic after a while.



Edna3362
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16 Jan 2018, 4:51 am

I don't feel selfish because of autism.
More like I'd wish I'm a truly selfish person to match the clash that mismatches social incompetence and cluelessness from emotional sensitivity and awareness.

It's just frustrating and guilt inducing to sense distress and need of someone, and not knowing or able to do anything about it. :x It's even worse if one is constantly mistaken said social incompetence as emotional insensitivity and/or amorality.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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16 Jan 2018, 9:09 am

Neptune Nh

According to the Comic Con's website, it is only four days a year. Maybe there are zoos closer to where you live.

For six years I lived in San Diego. (La Jolla). Public transportation is not too great. San Diego tends to be Republican, superficial, materialistic, homophobic. Not everyone in San Diego is like that, but there are not many exceptions.

The weather might impact your emotions. The weather has a profound effect on my emotions. However other things impact emotions too. Such as diversity.

Someone that I was stupid enough to make the mistake of trusting, had the nerve to tell me "you don't care about anyone except yourself!". He was angry and out of control.

Others had the nerve to tell me that I have a hard time considering someone else's perspective

After eleven years of obsession and shame, I realized that, it appeared that, the speaker cared about a lot of precious lil "people" and I cared about nobody

However upon closer inspection, everyone he cared about was similar to him in that they were Baptist, Republican, homophobic, cisgender, neurotypical. And they cared about him in return

Not many precious lil "people" care about me

Maybe he spends 500 daily calories caring about others. And they spend 500 calories caring about him. And I spend 2 calories caring about someone else. Someone else spends two calories caring about me

He spends 2500 calories caring about himself. And I spend ,1500 calories caring about myself

Likewise the amount of money he donates to charity is more than the amount I earn

So even if i donated everything to charity, that would be less than his donation

So

Everyone is sometimes selfish

You can't measure selfishness

Majority versus minority

Having said that, I am not Mother Theresa

But the speaker acted like he was Mother Theresa

But the speaker was homophobic

And there is only one Mother Theresa

Anyways whatever



magz
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16 Jan 2018, 9:49 am

I've very often been told I'm selfish. For all my life.
And then now everyone says to me I need to care for my own needs, not just think of the others all the time.
But then they want to talk and interact when my batteries are empty. And when I refuse, they say i offend them. And guess what? They say I'm selfish.

I'm just trying to function in the society! :cry:


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16 Jan 2018, 11:07 am

I want to care for other people but I often don't really now what to do and what I am expexted to do so too often I end up doing nothing, it has been struggle trying to learn and low self-esteem doesn't help either. I guess it's easy to see me as selfish though I try not to be.



kraftiekortie
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16 Jan 2018, 11:10 am

If one remembers that "actions speak louder than words," then one is ahead of the game.



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16 Jan 2018, 12:14 pm

No, but my mum does.


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rebeccadanielprophet
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16 Jan 2018, 3:21 pm

Sometimes my mom thinks that i'm selfish, she just misunderstands me, doesn't see the real me etc.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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16 Jan 2018, 3:49 pm

What I want is often different from what "most people" want

For example, a couple of months ago, in the news, an instructor let a student take her dog to class. Numerous responders praised the instructor, the student and the dog. They said the instructor was caring, for helping the dog, when the instructor could have refused. They said the student was industrious for going to school and taking care of the dog. They said the dog was a good dog and it was "obvious" that the dog was "a good girl"

But a dog bit me two years ago. And after that, I have gotten terrified of dogs. Especially off leash ones.

So, if I were to have been in that class and I made the mistake of pointing out, the leash law, it would appear that I was indeed "selfish". If I were not have said anything, then I could have had a panic attack in the corner. All so that a student could bring a dog.

Likewise my precious lil "parents" had the nerve to tell me that I was "selfish" when I did something that they did not like. Buzz cut. It's like, wtf?

One time in high school I was going to take the bus home after tennis practice. She had the nerve to tell me that I was "selfish"

She must have wanted me to do what she wanted me to do

Guilt trip

Manipulation




They made it sound like unless I satisfied all of their astronomical demands, I was "selfish"

That is not how the dictionary defines "selfish"

My precious lil "mom" died two years ago. And I have yet to forgive her

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

If you can't trust your precious lil "parents", who can you trust?


:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:



DancingQueen
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16 Jan 2018, 4:17 pm

If you're trying to be there for your friends when they need you, you're not being selfish. You can only do your best and nobody expects any more from you.

I feel like I was really selfish as a child but I think if you're aware that you're not helping your friends enough and you're unhappy about that, that's not selfishness. Selfishness would be you knowing that you were not being up to standard but not being bothered about it.

Living somewhere you want to sounds like it would make you happy (which may make empathising easier), go for it :)


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AngryAngryAngry
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16 Jan 2018, 4:27 pm

Yeah, it's very difficult to find trustworthy people in this world.

They are so dishonest, subject to diametrical change (based on emotions), unloyal, and hyper judgemental.



thewheel
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16 Jan 2018, 4:45 pm

I don't consider that being selfish is necessarily a bad thing, and truth is deep down everyone has largely selfish motivations.

But I do wish I could be less aloof with the few people I consider friends, and be able to make an effort to reciprocate social interaction.


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