Stupid men doing public proposal.

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I came across a video on facebook, it was a western thing but it’s happening everywhere now and it’s frankly appalling; I think you all watched such failed proposal videos:

-It is in a public place.
- The guy comes with an enormous bouquet of red flowers....ec.
- The guy is about to bow on one bended knee a... bla bla
- The crowd goes Yeahhh woohoo
- She puts her hand on mouth and becomes so embarrassed, she tries to make the guy stands up quickly, she’s clearly not wanting to marry him.
- But like the blind mule he is, he opens the ring box anyway and asks her to marry him.
- She gets so upset and runs away, the guy is in total public humilation.

Now.... why the f- men do such stupid things like this and risk their own dignity to be humilated like this in public? It’s so f- stupid. At least he should have asked their lady in private if she wants to marry him before doing this stupid failed show off?
How about a private proposal? I dunno, maybe after a long hot sex night?

Aspie men, please don’t do public proposals, this is a stupid trend that we men must kill for good.

Who agrees?

I think it's an incredibly stupid and selfish thing to do unless you already KNOW your partner wants that. It puts a huge amount of pressure on her and humiliates you both if she refuses. It's borderline kamikaze blackmail. An absolutely ridiculous stunt to pull off.

I don't know why anyway would want to do anything like that. My third marriage... to the beguilingly lovely Mrs Trueno... was a clandestine affair. We didn't tell anyone and snook off, dragging two witnesses off the street.
There shouldn't be any pressure on the proposee... just say yes and then find a million reasons to call it off once out of the public gaze... but I am speaking as a world weary 61 year old guy... might not be so easy for a young 'un.

Oh man, so freaking stupid.
I got in a similar situation in my teens. Not a marriage proposal, but a "let's be boyfriend/girlfriend"-proposal in public. Didn't want to embarrass the guy, so I said yes and was suddenly stuck in a relationship I didn't want.
Just imagine how many women got "trapped" that way.
I can also imagine a lot of public proposals where the woman said yes to avoid humiliation, and took it back once in private. That's even more of a bummer for the man than if she had said No right away.

I'd never propose to a potential girlfriend in public, partly because I'm half-afraid of being humiliated in public in that manner. But more so because I appreciate intimacy and would prefer to keep the proposal intimate.

*Shrug*

I think it's romantic... and about making sure first that the woman will say yes... why would you propose in the first place if you weren't at least 90 percent certain she wants to marry you!? Just saying...

Yeah it's grade A stupid. It only puts pressure on her and possible humiliation for both.

Regardless of what her answer is, it's an extremely personal thing and should only be asked in privacy. Throwing her into that situation in public is as far from romantic or considerate as it gets, and one should be allowed to react to big things in one's life without an audience and no external pressure.

Public proposal shouldn't be a thing

It's hard right, people more extroverted than myself have proposed, been proposed to in this way and loved it, found it romantic and went on to have very long and happy marriages. In a way that's cute. But it is tacky right? I am not a snob but it's tacky.

And yes, if someone was going to feel pressured into hastily saying yes, just because it is in public, then they should really not be proposed to in that way. And if your that serious in your relationship that you are going to propose, you should know your partner well enough by then to know if that situation is right for them or not.

Myself, it is going to be secluded, romantic and just between the two of us. If it goes to plan, I had plans last time, but I got tipsy and impatient and it just spontaneously happened in bed one night, not very romantic, did not work out in the end.

Each to there own, if that's what people want to do, let them be, but it's not for me. I feel uncomfortable seeing public acts of affection, am I sure I would too feel uncomfortable seeing a public proposal.

I do not like surprises.

I do not like being the centre of attention.

I do not like being fussed over.

I do not like extravagance or hype.

I will not find it romantic.

I will not change my mind.

What about all the over top successful proposals?
Just saw a video this week where guy paid to have a video ran before a movie in theater. Made a music video with the song marry thst girl. Even involved her dad and her friends, then went to use the bathroom before it started, changed into a suit , and came back in with flowers and the ring, right at the part of the video where he drove to the theater in a sports car. He also had all her friends and family sneak in behind her.

Then there’s the ones where they do it at a fountain and have her family and friends gather around etc. there’s millions of these over top proposals and they all end with girl saying yes and being so grateful for the romantic guesture. I’d imagine it’s These that up the pressure on the guys to do the videos you watched, gotta do a better over top proposal then the last guy so you are seen as romantic.

In public? With all those people watching?

I don't even want to get married in front of other people but my family will get upset if I get married without telling them.

I'd say if you're going to do it, do a private proposal first. Then it would be fine to agree to do another, public proposal, and not tell your significant other what/when/where it was going to be, so it would still be a surprise without any public humiliation or feeling pressured into saying yes when they don't actually want to.

I think it's a kind of a ritual.

My spouse did something sort of similar but just next to my family – and after making sure in private that I do want to marry him. So I guess he did it that way to make it officially and ritually.
So maybe some guys do it just for the sake of a ritual.
And maybe others are trying to corner a woman that way, which is a very bad idea.