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StarTrekker
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08 Feb 2018, 6:27 pm

I've recently discovered that my total inability to feel anything remotely resembling sexual or romantic attraction to anyone of any gender is indicative of the fact that I'm aromantic and asexual. This may be influenced by my autism, but it's not caused by it. I'm interested to see how many others here identify as asexual, and how you feel about it.


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AceofPens
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08 Feb 2018, 7:47 pm

I'm definitely asexual. I don't look for a reason behind it, though I've had many suggested to me. My doctor believes that it's due to the fact that I'm "very logical" and must need to connect with someone on a rational and intellectual level before I can feel any attraction to them. That's a curious theory, but I doubt it. I'm fine with the way things are, and I've stopped looking for signs that it's going to change at any point in the future. If it did, I suppose I'd be alright with it, though I prefer myself the way I am now. I'm lucky that my religion upholds celibate marriage as valid and even regards it as a higher calling, so if I ever find someone who's willing to settle down with me, we're good. I've also been planning to adopt kids since I was really young, so I'm content on that front, too. The bigots are annoying, of course, but who needs to know about my sexuality, anyway, other than the people I consider potential partners? All in all, I'm perfectly happy to be asexual.


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LittleCoyoteKat
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08 Feb 2018, 8:59 pm

Nope.

I require more than physical attraction though, about 99% of the time. There have been very rare instances where I found someone incredibly, astoundingly physically attractive and felt a little energy and warmth in my face, but it was still very far removed from actual arousal.

I actually rather enjoy sex, and have no real issues with it. I just need someone to be more than a pretty body to be interested. I believe the men I've been with would be considered average, so it's really about how well I can connect with someone.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Feb 2018, 9:01 pm

I can get sexually aroused by someone in the street.

But...in order to really want to have sex with a person, I have to really LIKE that person very much.

If I just met someone "casually," I'd probably wouldn't be able to "perform."



Skilpadde
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08 Feb 2018, 9:15 pm

I'm definitely asexual and also borderline aromantic.


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Edna3362
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08 Feb 2018, 9:34 pm

I'm asexual.
I seriously have no sense of attraction nor get those things, let alone appreciate. Not that it bothered me -- the less need and types of distractions I have, the better.

As for wondering 'why', I more or less 'waited' for whatever non asexuals felt or crave. And that feeling or urge never came. Whether because of autism, some form of developmental delay, or as simple as disinterest, it barely mattered to me.

I never had a crush, never felt attracted to anyone or anything, and I see porn as of it's just another documentary about human sexuality than something entertaining. :lol: People thought I'm an alien for seeing that way.


As for idea of romance, maybe. Just maybe I might have. While I concluded I'm asexual, I haven't concluded if I'm actually aromantic.
I understood the idea of romance on a deeper level. I don't appreciate romance as a front, or superficial, or the whole idea starts or basis with physical attraction -- I don't appreciate the type of romance as something 'easy' as a 'click'.
What I do appreciate is the idea of something more serious, emotional, of trust and commitment. Something more spiritual than physical or mental. :|


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Aprilviolets
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08 Feb 2018, 9:54 pm

This is something I've been wondering about ever since I heard of Asexual, I've never had any romantic feelings for anybody, when my sister says to me "Isn't he Gorgeous" I usually say "He's okay I guess" I've just never felt the need for Romance and never wanted to get Married, I have googled Asexual and some of it does fit, not that I want another Label.



Wolfram87
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09 Feb 2018, 3:01 am

Nope. Decidedly sexual and romantic bordering on the hopeless.


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lostonearth35
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09 Feb 2018, 8:10 am

I'm 44 today and I've never had sex. But I'm not that way entirely by choice. So the answer is probably yes.

If someone tells me "you just haven't found the right person", I'll just tell them "That must mean you haven't found the right gay person" if they're straight or "You haven't found the right straight person" if they're gay. :P

At least there's not as much pressure if you're female. Only because our stupid society thinks all women hate sex while men are lustful. :roll:



whatamievendoing
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09 Feb 2018, 8:13 am

I'm not asexual, but when it comes to romantic or sexual attraction, I've lately found that I don't feel either towards just about anyone. I used to be able to "fall in love" very quickly until about the end of my teen years. Since then, though, I need an establishment of friendship and trust before I'm romantically or sexually attracted to anyone. Which is why I couldn't do hook-ups for the life of me.


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TheAP
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09 Feb 2018, 10:37 am

Yes, I am. I'm fine with it; it hasn't really affected my life, since I haven't been in relationships, likely due to my ASD.



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09 Feb 2018, 9:29 pm

No, but I need to have a very deep connection with the person to even be interested. Anything surface or contrived is repulsive.



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10 Feb 2018, 2:45 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
I never had a crush, never felt attracted to anyone or anything, and I see porn as of it's just another documentary about human sexuality than something entertaining. :lol: People thought I'm an alien for seeing that way.


I'm sex repulsed, so I've never seen porn, mostly because I imagine it would be like watching one of those horriffic documentaries on mass animal abuse in food production warehouses; completely intolerable!

Those of you who describe being unable to feel attraction towards someone unless there's an established relationship sound like what I've heard people describe as "demisexual" which means exactly that; the inablility to be attracted to someone unless you know them well.


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renaeden
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10 Feb 2018, 10:44 pm

I'm asexual. I have tried sex and that kind of thing when I was younger but found that it wasn't for me.

I'm not really romantic either. But I am married to a trans girl who used to be asexual as well. But she isn't any more. Our relationship is complicated.



jadix
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10 Feb 2018, 11:14 pm

I am 100% asexual and aromantic. I still haven't figured out what romantic is supposed to be. I know the stereotypical moon, and weird poetry have something to do with it, but it makes no sense to me. I also don't find any one person more attractive or good looking. I know the societal expectations, but I don't get more or less pleasure looking at certain people. I hate being touched, I don't dislike people, and the thought of having a family with a child is kind of cool (w/out sex/intimacy), I don't see that happening. I like platonic relationships and scoff when people say you can't truly love someone to the same level of deepness if you are not intimate with them (intimacy also confuses me). I have never read anything definitive linking autism with asexuality, but I have heard it is more prevalent statistically. I would be curious as to why. I have never had a crush, by 16 I started to think it would never happen, and it didn't. It feels like people obsess on sex. I am also content being asexual, I definitely don't want that to change.



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11 Feb 2018, 12:46 am

I'm Asexual. I was never attracted to people of any gender and I'm also aromatic as well. I'm fine with it.


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