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SilverStar
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21 Mar 2018, 9:50 pm

cberg wrote:
Might as well pose my own question here, having likely phrased it wrong plenty before:

I don't fall in love easily but it happened anyway although I've found it's best to leave the pace of things up to her, my own pace being so awkwardly slow. As a result things are going nowhere although I know we enjoy one another's company & a good party among friends. How does an impossible geek stick around a mischievous raver lady?


Those types of women are usually good for gaining experience, getting you out of your comfort zone, and helping you loosen up a little bit, but I'm not too sure about long term relationships with them, though.



yellowtamarin
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21 Mar 2018, 10:12 pm

SilverStar wrote:
cberg wrote:
Might as well pose my own question here, having likely phrased it wrong plenty before:

I don't fall in love easily but it happened anyway although I've found it's best to leave the pace of things up to her, my own pace being so awkwardly slow. As a result things are going nowhere although I know we enjoy one another's company & a good party among friends. How does an impossible geek stick around a mischievous raver lady?


Those types of women are usually good for gaining experience, getting you out of your comfort zone, and helping you loosen up a little bit, but I'm not too sure about long term relationships with them, though.

Would you say this applies more to women than men? I have a friend who is a mischievous raver man and he's very much interested in long-lasting love. Doesn't mean he won't have fun in the meantime of course. I don't know many ravers so I don't have much data to go on.



SilverStar
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21 Mar 2018, 10:16 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
I know exactly want I want.

Feel like sharing? I'm intrigued :)


Where to begin? lol

Well, for starters...someone that is single :)

Basically, I am looking for someone similar to myself, yet different enough so we don't get on each other's nerves (someone that compliments me)

Someone that is well balanced mentally, with good sense, and a good head on their shoulders
Someone that is on the same wavelength
Values and lifestyles are similar
Mutual understanding
Mutual respect
Someone that is genuine
Someone that is reasonably attractive - I am not super picky about looks, but there are some physical qualities that I don't particularly like (super skinny, too tall, or overweight), but it's possible to overlook those things, if they have an awesome personality.



cberg
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21 Mar 2018, 10:27 pm

@silverstar/yellowtamarin
I guess I shouldn't generalize. We're pretty casual about being very much on-again off-again so I guess I'm not so worried about the long term as much as finding more times to get together & at least sort of reciprocating the comfort-zone-expansion thing, which you're quite right about.


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SilverStar
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21 Mar 2018, 10:28 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
cberg wrote:
Might as well pose my own question here, having likely phrased it wrong plenty before:

I don't fall in love easily but it happened anyway although I've found it's best to leave the pace of things up to her, my own pace being so awkwardly slow. As a result things are going nowhere although I know we enjoy one another's company & a good party among friends. How does an impossible geek stick around a mischievous raver lady?


Those types of women are usually good for gaining experience, getting you out of your comfort zone, and helping you loosen up a little bit, but I'm not too sure about long term relationships with them, though.

Would you say this applies more to women than men? I have a friend who is a mischievous raver man and he's very much interested in long-lasting love. Doesn't mean he won't have fun in the meantime of course. I don't know many ravers so I don't have much data to go on.


I have known a few party girls, and I wouldn't really consider them LTR material for myself, but that doesn't mean they couldn't be for someone, I guess. I would assume men are probably the same way.



yellowtamarin
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21 Mar 2018, 10:32 pm

SilverStar wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
I know exactly want I want.

Feel like sharing? I'm intrigued :)


Where to begin? lol

Well, for starters...someone that is single :)

Basically, I am looking for someone similar to myself, yet different enough so we don't get on each other's nerves (someone that compliments me)

Someone that is well balanced mentally, with good sense, and a good head on their shoulders
Someone that is on the same wavelength
Values and lifestyles are similar
Mutual understanding
Mutual respect
Someone that is genuine
Someone that is reasonably attractive - I am not super picky about looks, but there are some physical qualities that I don't particularly like (super skinny, too tall, or overweight), but it's possible to overlook those things, if they have an awesome personality.

The wavelength thing...argh...so hard to find, do you agree? And so important for us weirdos.
Another personal question if I may be so bold...are you gifted? And if so, do you know which level?

If you're not familiar with giftedness:
What is Giftedness?
High, Exceptional & Profound Giftedness



CockneyRebel
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21 Mar 2018, 10:33 pm

I think we need an in-between chatroom called The Lounge or The Rec Room. The Bar can be too intense for some and the some of us need something more than to make threads.


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yellowtamarin
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21 Mar 2018, 10:36 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I think we need an in-between chatroom called The Lounge or The Rec Room. The Bar can be too intense for some and the some of us need something more than to make threads.

Happy for mods to rename and sticky this thread if they think it's suitable, or start up a new one with that intent.



SilverStar
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21 Mar 2018, 10:44 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
I know exactly want I want.

Feel like sharing? I'm intrigued :)


Where to begin? lol

Well, for starters...someone that is single :)

Basically, I am looking for someone similar to myself, yet different enough so we don't get on each other's nerves (someone that compliments me)

Someone that is well balanced mentally, with good sense, and a good head on their shoulders
Someone that is on the same wavelength
Values and lifestyles are similar
Mutual understanding
Mutual respect
Someone that is genuine
Someone that is reasonably attractive - I am not super picky about looks, but there are some physical qualities that I don't particularly like (super skinny, too tall, or overweight), but it's possible to overlook those things, if they have an awesome personality.

The wavelength thing...argh...so hard to find, do you agree? And so important for us weirdos.
Another personal question if I may be so bold...are you gifted? And if so, do you know which level?

If you're not familiar with giftedness:
What is Giftedness?
High, Exceptional & Profound Giftedness



I looked into giftedness several years ago, and I would say that I probably am, but I'm not sure what level, or anything. Might be something to look into.



cberg
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21 Mar 2018, 11:41 pm

I'm probably in the same '2e' bracket as OP.

Thus I'm wondering how to stop over thinking & properly appreciate good company.


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"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


yellowtamarin
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21 Mar 2018, 11:56 pm

cberg wrote:
I'm probably in the same '2e' bracket as OP.

Thus I'm wondering how to stop over thinking & properly appreciate good company.

How to stop overthinking? Can't help you there!! I mean, my 'solution' is often 'ethanol' (hah, sorry), but that's not always available or appropriate...

Seriously though I have used alcohol to lower my inhibitions and raise my filters, as an initial tactic to get close to someone, then once the first hurdles have been overcome, I am able to do more relaxing and appreciating. Someone else might have a more natural method for putting up filters?

By filters I mean those things that prevent some information coming into the conscious brain to be analysed and interpreted, so I'm not processing EVERYTHING. Cos that's tiring, and not productive when it comes to romance.



cberg
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22 Mar 2018, 12:21 am

You have a point. I wind up as designated driver most of the time, perhaps I should stick to some beer runs in advance, good thing I'm a microbrew snob.

I'm more about green stuff to be honest though. :mrgreen:


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


yellowtamarin
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22 Mar 2018, 12:51 am

cberg wrote:
You have a point. I wind up as designated driver most of the time, perhaps I should stick to some beer runs in advance, good thing I'm a microbrew snob.

I'm more about green stuff to be honest though. :mrgreen:

Deso* nights, back in my clubbing days, were always the worst for making things happen with people.

I don't have enough experience with pot to know if it is good for filtering, but I assume it's good for relaxing! Which is a lowering-of-inhibitions type thing. Maybe your girl is interested in a quiet "Netflix and 420" sometimes, which would relieve you from having to chase her around at raves? I dunno, just throwing ideas out there.

*This is probably Aussie slang, sorry, I mean designated driver ;)



Closet Genious
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22 Mar 2018, 12:55 am

Isn't "giftedness" just a very unscientific way of saying high iq?



yellowtamarin
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22 Mar 2018, 1:30 am

Closet Genious wrote:
Isn't "giftedness" just a very unscientific way of saying high iq?

I'm still learning about it myself, but those two links above give more info. IQ is a way to measure it, but there are other types of intelligence too, which can be assessed to help determine if someone is gifted.



nick007
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22 Mar 2018, 2:44 am

SilverStar wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
cberg wrote:
Might as well pose my own question here, having likely phrased it wrong plenty before:

I don't fall in love easily but it happened anyway although I've found it's best to leave the pace of things up to her, my own pace being so awkwardly slow. As a result things are going nowhere although I know we enjoy one another's company & a good party among friends. How does an impossible geek stick around a mischievous raver lady?


Those types of women are usually good for gaining experience, getting you out of your comfort zone, and helping you loosen up a little bit, but I'm not too sure about long term relationships with them, though.

Would you say this applies more to women than men? I have a friend who is a mischievous raver man and he's very much interested in long-lasting love. Doesn't mean he won't have fun in the meantime of course. I don't know many ravers so I don't have much data to go on.


I have known a few party girls, and I wouldn't really consider them LTR material for myself, but that doesn't mean they couldn't be for someone, I guess. I would assume men are probably the same way.
I could of lost my virginity to a party girl(or at least gotten a BJ) but I was in a LDR at the time with my 1st girlfriend. I didn't quickly decide not to get with her, I had to think about it for a few seconds but there was a chance my girlfriend would of had sex with guys in the meantime too cuz who knows how long we would of had to wait before being together offline. I really wish I had a chance with that party girl after me & Emily broke up thou cuz I hated being alone. I would of tried to get a realtionship out of her thou which would of ended very badly if it happened because partying stuff was a big problem I had with Emily which really contributed to our breakup. At least we would of been together offline thou & I may not of felt like a parent with her since she was only about a year younger than me instead of 5 like Emily was. I probably wouldn't of been able to get more than sex with her anyways thou. Oh well, I'm just rambling...


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