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Authentic
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17 Mar 2018, 6:27 am

One of the things that puts me off from dating and trying to find relationships is the fact that I feel like I am below average in appearance. I was often bullied for the way I looked in school and even it the workplace. I also never had any woman show interest in me. I always noticed that at all the pretty boys and jocks would get all the attention from the opposite sex. I also haven't had any success with online dating sites but I notice that attractive guys too. This is just evolution taking its course I suppose. I try to exercise and eat healthy and wear nice clothes but I still hate what I see in the mirror.

inb4 "Looks don't matter"



The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Mar 2018, 7:12 am

There's no way around it, looks do matter to most people but different people look for different things. What is it about your looks that you think is below average? Aspies tend to struggle more with the opposite sex as evidenced by all the posts on this forum, so your problem might not be as much looks as you might think.

Good looking people are always going to have an easier time attracting the opposite sex though. Would you be interested in your female equivalent looks-wise?



bobaspie2015
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17 Mar 2018, 7:14 am

Authentic wrote:
One of the things that puts me off from dating and trying to find relationships is the fact that I feel like I am below average in appearance.
I always noticed that at all the pretty boys and jocks would get all the attention from the opposite sex.
inb4 "Looks don't matter"

Honestly "Authentic" all I see from reading your post is that you have a low opinion of yourself.
It really does not matter what 'other' people think of you; what matters is what you think of yourself. How do you see yourself?
Women (or men) are mostly attracted to what is within you, that is to say your true nature, your Soul.
Believe in yourself honey and do not EVER be concerned what other people think of you.
Much love
Bobby.


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Point # 1: We are all unique and special so never have a desire to be other than you are.
Point # 2: Never forget point # 1.

Much love .... Bob

Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them.

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Forgiveness Is the Fragrance the Violet Sheds on the Heel That Has Crushed It.

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The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Mar 2018, 7:20 am

bobaspie2015 wrote:
It really does not matter what 'other' people think of you; what matters is what you think of yourself.

False. If you want a relationship, it very much does matter what at least one other person thinks of you.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Mar 2018, 7:57 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
bobaspie2015 wrote:
It really does not matter what 'other' people think of you; what matters is what you think of yourself.

False. If you want a relationship, it very much does matter what at least one other person thinks of you.


You should aslo add: Says the guy who’s showing off his six packs.



The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Mar 2018, 9:20 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
bobaspie2015 wrote:
It really does not matter what 'other' people think of you; what matters is what you think of yourself.

False. If you want a relationship, it very much does matter what at least one other person thinks of you.


You should aslo add: Says the guy who’s showing off his six packs.

Or maybe even
bobaspie2015 wrote:
all I see from reading your post is that you have a low opinion of yourself... what matters is what you think of yourself. How do you see yourself?

Didn't he answer his own question before he even asked it?



redrobin62
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17 Mar 2018, 9:25 am

Unfortunately, looks absolutely matter. It's the hot girls who get the catcalls from construction workers when they walk past their worksites. It's the hot teacher who gets leering glances from their male students even though she's too old to date them. It's the hot bachelor at work who the single females talk about when they congregate around the water cooler. Poor Quasimodo gets passed over for dates every time he asks someone out. That's just the nature of the beast.



Mudboy
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17 Mar 2018, 9:40 am

Looks matter for first impressions. Looks make it easier to get a first date. After that, personality matters. When you are with people long enough, how they look fades in importance. A person who is not physically attractive can have partners.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Mar 2018, 9:56 am

Mudboy wrote:
A person who is not physically attractive can have partners.

Worth noting that those partners aren't necessarily physically attractive either.



CannibalCorpse
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17 Mar 2018, 10:00 am

xxZeromancerlovexx
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17 Mar 2018, 10:25 am

Looks matter a lot more than people think.


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bobaspie2015
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17 Mar 2018, 11:31 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
bobaspie2015 wrote:
It really does not matter what 'other' people think of you; what matters is what you think of yourself.

False. If you want a relationship, it very much does matter what at least one other person thinks of you.

Such a very good answer, and at your age I would have thought the same. However, I was not focused on as you say; 'it very much does matter what at least one other person thinks of you'
Moreover, I did make it quite clear; It does not matter what OTHER people think of you.
What matters; is that you believe in yourself.


_________________
(Aspie) score: 150 of 200
Point # 1: We are all unique and special so never have a desire to be other than you are.
Point # 2: Never forget point # 1.

Much love .... Bob

Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them.

Stacy London

Forgiveness Is the Fragrance the Violet Sheds on the Heel That Has Crushed It.

Mark Twain


The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Mar 2018, 1:32 pm

bobaspie2015 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
bobaspie2015 wrote:
It really does not matter what 'other' people think of you; what matters is what you think of yourself.

False. If you want a relationship, it very much does matter what at least one other person thinks of you.

Such a very good answer, and at your age I would have thought the same. However, I was not focused on as you say; 'it very much does matter what at least one other person thinks of you'
Moreover, I did make it quite clear; It does not matter what OTHER people think of you.
What matters; is that you believe in yourself.



With that avatar of yours, you're not being so convincing.

Honestly, the 'young' Inquisitor sounds more down to earth while you're sounding to need to get off your high horse.



ltcvnzl
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17 Mar 2018, 1:54 pm

it matters a lot. being pretty change drastically how you experience life, often pretty people tend to disagree with it because they are so used to it that it feels natural. but at the same time, it isn't the end of the world. you just have another experience in life, something maybe are more difficult, but you don't risk getting to crazy about losing your main asset while you grow older or – it stands mostly for woman – you are way less harassed at the streets. so see the positive sides too.

try to find things that are good about it, and emphasize it. there is a lot of ugly people in the world that can match with you, and maybe even some pretty ones who will like someone who have certain characteristics. you won't be the center of attention getting a lots of woman throwing themselves on you unless you are weirdly attractive and a millionaire, but it's a lifestyle for very minory and you don't need it to be happy, and you can still find love and happiness on it.

or at least i hope so :)



bobaspie2015
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17 Mar 2018, 2:45 pm

Mudboy wrote:
Looks matter for first impressions. Looks make it easier to get a first date. After that, personality matters.

I am so with you on this.


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(Aspie) score: 150 of 200
Point # 1: We are all unique and special so never have a desire to be other than you are.
Point # 2: Never forget point # 1.

Much love .... Bob

Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them.

Stacy London

Forgiveness Is the Fragrance the Violet Sheds on the Heel That Has Crushed It.

Mark Twain