Do you ever get survivor's guilt from reading posts here?

Post Reply New Topic

Oftentimes, when I read peoples' stories of how they were mentally abused growing up and how they've never found solace or happiness (or stories of a similar caliber), I feel guilty for ever complaining about my own struggles. I live in fear that I won't find success after I graduate, but there are plenty of people on this site (and off it) who were prevented from ever having a chance of success. I want to comfort them and give them advice, but I feel like I'm not in a position to do so, since I've never struggled as much as them.

Guilt is useless and best excised from one's repertoire of feelings.

Nope. It's not that I think I'd be the one with the most miserable life, but my life has not been and is not easy. I refuse to feel guilty about being strong enough to not just end it all with my own hands.

I get the feeling. Mildly. "Guilt" might be a strong word for it. I think of it the same as white/male privilege... I can't DO anything about it, it is a thing that exists... I can be AWARE of it, and use my relative "success" to help out those who don't have the same advantages.

My son is further along the spectrum than I am. He makes a good anchor for way that thinking.

...but that doesn't mean that my inability to hold eye contact or remember what you look like when you aren't there are any less real or crappy.

No. Many of the hardships I have experienced in my life, I think most people would consider fairly heavy, however growing up around people who had better lives than I did, and seeing their responses to their own difficulties, I concluded the effects of the difficulties they experienced were often just as difficult for them as the difficulties I experienced were for me, even if my difficulties were technically worse in some way. You see, in many instances, one's experience is only perceived relative to what they have previously experienced, and not relative to any absolute measure.

Someone might have problems that are technically less significant than mine but if they have never had problems as significant as mine, those less significant problems can still be sufficiently significant to them to cause them a lot of upset and difficulty in their life, particularly if those problem impede their ability to function or meet the expectations of mainstream society.

I don't believe that because "there is always someone who has it worse" a person should strive to be content with what they have in life even if it is not sufficient for them. I believe people should be grateful for the good things they have in life, be aware of the struggles of those less fortunate than them in those respects, and continually strive to better their lives.

Additionally, I'm sure someone somewhere will condemn me for saying this, but third world people are not devoid of first world desires, and sometimes even third world people have first world problems. I was reading an article about a journalist in Afghanistan who was visiting refugee camps. Conditions in the camps were difficult and the women in these camps had lost their home, often times family members, and possessions, and these women typically covered their faces with their veils, but they all asked the female journalist the same question; "What do you use on your skin?"

It's ok to have your problems and struggle with them, even if someone has it worse.

No.

Sometimes I think "Well, that's some s**t I never had to go through, so things could be worse.." but more often my attitude is "I've endured my own personal hell and come out on top, maybe if I share a little of my story others might be inspired to have the resolve to overcome their own struggles." kind of thing. And I don't feel guilty one bit for being much more "on top," of my life right now, because I've earned it.