Is it headed towards a relationship or just a booty call?

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Disclaimer: I posted in the last couple months about my bf but just a short update that we are no longer together as of February and I am seeing someone else now.

I met him online initially, he started out with an icebreaker question and we talked online for a bit. After a short(not sexual) convo we found out that we both live on the same student residence and go to the same college. He asked me to go to a party that night (it was on a friday over St. Patricks day weekend). We hit it off pretty well and i knew i wanted to see him again, but we ended up going pretty far later that night. We ended up doing the same thing on Saturday night as well. I thought that was gonna be it until he asked me to go to the movies with him next week.

We have been texting everyday since and he always wants to see me. We've only been out on a few actual dates (that he has initiated) but a lot of the time we've just been hanging out in our building. I am confused cuz actual dates are few and far between but he has done the following things which seems to hint he wants a relationship with me:

-asking me how my day went or asking me how tests/exams went(that i mentioned to him earlier)
-tells me about his friends/family/some of his life
-asks me stuff about myself
-told his friends about me/sends pics of me and him to them
- his mom called when i was there, she knew i was with him and wanted to talk to me(and he allowed it). I couldn't tell what he referred to me as cuz the conversation was not in english
-his nephew(who is 4) knows who i am and said hi to me(calling me by my name) in a video
-put his arm around me, kissed me, and held my hand for a bit in public
-sleeps overnight in my room/lets me stay over in his
-cuddles with me, plays with my hair, rubs my back, shoulders
-brought me chocolates(heart shaped)
-ordered food for us and brought it to my room after my evening class
-offers to pay for food and other things
-helped me carry my suitcase on/off the bus when i went home for the weekend
-one night i had stomach cramps and he rubbed my stomach and hugged me
-last night we were in the shower and i almost passed out and needed to sit down. He turned the water off, sat down and comforted me till i was able to get up on my own
-texts me consistently and follows through on plans, doesn't cancel on me

He has not said in words if he wants/doesn't want a relationship and has made no mention of dating other ppl/exes, or only wanting sex. I've had friends with benefits arrangements before and usually they aren't nice or do any of the things that he does. Its only been 2.5 weeks since we've been talking, Is that too early to define things or should I wait it out more?

Sounds more like its headed to a relationship. If the dates consisted of getting together to have sex but not much else, or they make excuses any time you want to actually go do something with them, then I'd be more concerned about it being a booty call.

Unfortunately that was sort of my first experience in college with dating...and I didn't really realize it till quite a bit later when I put together we only did sexual stuff when we hung out and he had an excuse any time I asked if he wanted to see a movie or do any kind of public activity. He also never did any of those nice things you mentioned. We did go to a concert early on, and he seemed a little more interested at first...but I think that was just an act.

But this does not sound like that at all, seems like he really is interested in you. But yeah its a good sign he is being open about it to his friends and family...if you were just a hook up he probably wouldn't bother introducing you to family or telling his friends about you.

I hope you're not sad that you broke up with your boyfriend.

How many times have you had sex with him? Is this just a FWB?

Based on what the OP has told us, I agree.

I was initially not happy when it happened, but we didn't last long and now that I've healed emotionally and started going out on dates I realized theres better ppl out there and that he wasn't putting in the effort or giving me the things I wanted in a relationship.



I have been seeing him for 2.5 weeks and we've had sex about 6 times, although he's still happy to hang out in my room or his and talk to me without having sex. I dunno if he's a FWB or not, its in a grey area atm because we haven't put labels on what we are but he has taken me out in public on a few dates and done/said a lot of things that definitely cross into relationship territory.

Do you feel satisfied when you have sex with this person? Do you feel fulfillment?

Do you like his company, otherwise?

Yes, I do enjoy myself when I'm having sex with him. Outside of that we have good conversations, like the same things, and he just really gets me. The few times that we did have actual dates I enjoyed them a lot. He's also very caring and helps me out when I don't expect him to.

Sounds good, so far.

A "booty call" means that a guy or a girl just wants sex----nothing else, really.

After sex, people who do "booty calls" usually go their own separate ways. They don't usually "date," per se.

Just make sure you're careful. Use condoms/diaphragms, whatever. Is he about your age? Does he go to your college?

Thats true and yes we use protection. And yes are both 19 and go to the same college

I have a couple of concerns that might not have occurred to you. I would not say these are "dealbreakers" or "red flags" but maybe things to consider as time passes.

First, 2.5 weeks is no time at all; if he is having you interact with his family so soon, I would call that moving very fast. Try to keep an open mind as you learn more about him. Slow things down a bit, not refusing to see him but maybe seeing him a little less often, and seeing some of his faults as time passes. Maybe you're overlooking that he is sloppy, that he cheats on tests, gossips a lot, or other moral signposts.

Second, when a man is very devoted very early, I wonder whether he will get obsessive about you. If you do decide to break up at some point, will he become a crazy stalker who might feel like you are his property?

It is nice that you have developed this relationship and feel positively about it, and I hope things continue to go well. He definitely is after more than a booty call.

The fact that I talked to his mom did surprise me. From the conversation they had on the phone, even tho it was not in english, it seemed like he told her that he was with me and his mom asked to speak to me. After speaking his first language which i don't understand he said in english "you wanna say hi to her?". He also had a surprised look on his face but still handed me the phone nonetheless. I wasn't sure what kind of impression I made because I was surprised and had no idea how to introduce myself and therefore I probably sounded really awkward She just said hi and asked how I was, no other questions although he has mentioned that she understands english but does not speak it very well so theres probably a limit of what she can ask/say to me. It was a short interaction but its a big switch from my ex who never introduced me to any family or made my presence known to them in the time we dated.

You definitely have a point with all of this, I am doing my best to keep an open mind and be able to spot red flags. So far I haven't seen anything concerning but I am taking this advice into consideration!