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cat_lover9
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 18 Apr 2018
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 11
Location: United States

19 Apr 2018, 10:16 am

Any other transgender people out there? :D I am an mtf transwoman. Been on hrt going on 4+ years now. I live pretty stealth and have been very lucky that I transitioned very well. I'm pretty happy with where I am currently relating to my transitioned identity :) For the first time in my life I actually love myself and can look at myself in the mirror and my self image matches what I see.



infinitenull
Veteran
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Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 628
Location: Home

21 Apr 2018, 6:14 am

yep there are other trans people here of various types :)

I am NB myself just now starting to transition socially for the second time in my life. (the first time my transition was binary)...

we're pretty common from what I understand... the intersectionality that is. There are more autistic people in the transgender subset than the population of humanity... and more trans people in the autistic subset than the population of humanity...

There are lots of theories as to why we're a little more common in each group... some of it has to do with us already being outsiders so we're more likely to be out about the other condition... others have to do with autism sometimes creating ambiguity with gender norms (very much my agender side)... and there are other theories too... lots of stuff on google.


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Very high systematizing, low empathy, but moderate to high sympathy.
I do not experience cognitive dissonance reduction the way that other people do.
Professionally diagnosed in March 2018


Anthracite_Impreza
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 9 Dec 2015
Posts: 64
Location: England

21 Apr 2018, 6:35 pm

I am agender :3 Glad to hear your transition has gone well!


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rowan_nichol
Veteran
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Joined: 28 Jul 2016
Age: 57
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 624
Location: England

25 Apr 2018, 2:05 am

cat_lover9 wrote:
:) For the first time in my life I actually love myself and can look at myself in the mirror and my self image matches what I see.


Reading this got my day to a lovely start.



lostxprophit
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 18 Mar 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 152
Location: British Columbia, Canada

25 Apr 2018, 2:09 am

I'm not transgender but I just wanted to say it's always nice to see people come to terms with who they really are (in a positive light) :) :heart:

And if you need to vent to someone about someone not liking you for who you are or whatever, you're always welcome to PM me!


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PDD-NOS
(Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Self Diagnosed

No longer Active on here; I have moved to AutisimForums/AspieCentral under the username Isadoorian


Ersatz Einstein
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 9 Jan 2016
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 129
Location: Ohio

04 Jan 2019, 11:51 am

I'm a closeted FTM man, mainly because the one time I tried to talk to my parents, I got a response that made it pretty clear that they don't think I understand gender well enough to interpret it for myself. I've been trying to incorporate some materials on neuroatypicality into the information my school's trans support network provides parents, but I can't find anything. If anyone has anything on the subject, I'd appreciate a PM.


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"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
~ George Bernard Shaw


MindWithoutWalls
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Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,426
Location: In the Workshop, with the Toolbox

08 Mar 2019, 9:04 pm

Binary Trans guy here. I began my FtM transition almost 3 years ago, about a month before I turned 48. I knew I was a boy before I was even 5 years old, but nobody was going to believe me back in the 1970s. It's a long story, but I thought I couldn't go on anymore when I finally admitted the truth - but then I found out my transition would be paid for by my medical coverage (Medicaid/Medicare). It saved my life.

I have a nonbinary sibling, as it turns out, so I had immediate support in the family. I've been very fortunate overall, in spite of having to struggle with some aspects of getting what I've needed. My friends and family have been great. (They also accept my autism.)

My main issues have been with certain individuals trying to block my path, for whatever reason, even when it was against rules or policies. I had trouble with getting my prescription and my surgery, in spite of having coverage and willing providers. All it takes is one rogue employee or a company looking to save money by unethical means. But that seems to have been straightened out, and things are going well now.

Learning new social rules, where they apply, is admittedly more challenging for me than the average Trans person, and there are some things I don't care to change about myself. (I refuse to absorb toxic masculinity for the sake of fitting in, for example.) My worst difficulties have been dealing with the sense of discontented longing over the years and the imagined loss of what my life would've been like if I'd been physically male to begin with. But my greatest joy and satisfaction come from the combination of all I learned by being amongst women as though I were one of them (something I absolutely never would've been so disrespectful as to deliberately try to disguise myself to do if I'd been physically male at the time, but I appeared female, so I needed the same space and resources back then) and all I've gained by my transition.

Living as a woman was painful for me, both because it wasn't who I was and because women suffer in the patriarchy. But I don't really regret it, and I hope Trans women will continue to have increasing access to the women's community, as old ways of ignorance and misunderstanding there fall away. I remember well the objection many had to accepting Trans women as women over the years. I'll be very happy to see a day when that kind of attitude comes entirely to an end.

:salut: Greetings to all my fellow Trans folk on WP - binary and nonbinary.


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ZackMichel
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 2 Mar 2019
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 27
Location: Seattle

16 Mar 2019, 9:47 pm

Agender friend here! I used to identify on the binary (FTM) because I didn't realize there was an in-between space (yay, gender is a spectrum). I have also heard people use the term "autigender," which means that they feel their gender non-conformity is directly related to their ASD.

I identify this way as well, but I tell people I'm agender because "coming out" as transgender and autistic at the same time sounds like a rough ride. haha


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AQ Score: 41, MBTI: INFJ, Pronouns: They/Them

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 158 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 44 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


epilanthanomai
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 1 Mar 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 59
Location: Atlanta

17 Mar 2019, 5:35 am

I have trouble calling myself a woman because gender is weird and complicated and hard. I usually do anyway, because it's simpler than the full story, and usually easier to communicate. I remember when I started seeing my gender therapist years ago I told him that growing up I hadn't seen myself as either a boy or a girl: My gender was geek. In time I came to understand a big part of my not really fitting as dysphoria, and as I started processing it that way it grew acute. I used "they" pronouns for a bit and thought of myself as nonbinary around the time I was starting hrt, though before long I started finding it more comfortable to round off to "she." (To be clear: The shifting of my nonbinary identity does not in any way invalidate the nonbinary identities of others.) Now I'm massively happier running on estrogen and getting read as a woman than I ever was running on testosterone and read as a man. Even if gender is still weird and complicated and hard.

It's been interesting quite recently coming to the realization that I'm autistic. I have some new tools for understanding the complicatedness of so many social things in my life, gender included. It's been fascinating to start to figure out how they dovetail for me.



ApricitiousRory
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 30 Mar 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 28
Location: New Mexico

30 Mar 2019, 9:03 pm

I've never felt like i fit neatly into the binary but am largely transfemme, so go through life identifying as a transwoman (AMAB). As a child i was always feminine, but my parents were very protective so I didn't encounter ridicule until going to middle school at age 11.

Bullying on the bus by high school juniors & seniors as well as at the middle school from bullies closer to my own age convinced me that studying and mimicing how the boys acted was how i could stop the abuse. I got so good at masking my femininity that pretending to be male became my way of life for the next 4 decades. That is, until i was desperately and intractably unhappy.

Accessing therapy started the processing of past traumas and other baggage. Exploring why shame was overwhelming me in my 50s led to discovering my transness. I eventually started medical transition in August 2017, and worked toward social transition, both of which continue today. Those two choices are definitely among the best decisions of my life!

Learning that i'm definitely some flavor of neurodivergent is fairly recent and i'm currently considering whether or not to pursue assessment and potential official diagnosis. Asking both my therapist and physician if i might be an Aspie basically got a, "Yes, of course, and...?" from each of them. However i'm hesitating for several reasons, including a desire to have fewer, not more interactions with clinicians. At least right now.

In the past few months it feels like i'm teetering on the edge of some serious burnout. Stimming helps in the moments when anxiety builds toward meltdown. It's as if by getting older there's less capacity to pretend to be NT just to get along.

Transition has been a motivating influence over the past 19 months. Finally having a life i want to live has also lowered my BS tolerance, which is a good thing even though i'm not deft at speaking up or setting boundaries. I've had to apologize often lately for unwittingly upsetting people at work with my bluntness.


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"Who in the world am I?” Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”
Alice in Wonderland

AQ score: 36
Diagnosed May 2021: ASD Level 1 ( i.e. Aspergers), requiring support