Not into pop culture = impossible to make friends?

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i_wanna_blue
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01 May 2018, 9:52 am

Just wondering what's people's thoughts on this. I hate pretending like I find social networking cool, and something I need in my life, but it's the rage with seemingly 99% of people out there, so how do I get to know them without feeling like I don't fit in? What if they want to keep in contact on whatsapp or facebook, and I tell them I don't use it, will they still want to be my friend?

It goes far deeper than just social networking since I find society's obsession with most things quite alienating. I don't understand the habits of always using phones and taking selfies. I see people a lot of the time texting, and taking selfies. I don't like doing either.

And, I don't mind the odd superhero movie but it seems it's the only type of genre out there. Is that all people watch these days? And don't get me started with this fascination with zombies and horror related stuff.

I sound like someone from a previous generation, but I'm not that old, I just don't like most of the things others like. Anyone else know what I mean?


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Fireblossom
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02 May 2018, 4:28 am

I'm in a similiar position regarding what I'm interested in, so I've pretty much given up on trying to make friends with regular people and am now hanging around with the other weirdoes. :D

Perhaps your area has other people besides you that can't or won't fit in? Try making friends with them.



i_wanna_blue
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02 May 2018, 3:50 pm

As you probably know, finding other weirdos is not easy. I haven't seen anyone that appears to be on my weirdness level, so I haven't made much of an attempt to find others of my kind.

How did you manage to find like-minded individuals?


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CanadianRose
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02 May 2018, 4:52 pm

I use a bit of social media, more to stay in touch with family/friends and to share some of my interests with my friends. I don't have a lot of Facebook friends (only about 40 something). They are all known personally to me (I generally don't "friend" people I have never met in person).

I have met many people who don't engage in social media (or use it for only limited reasons). I also know many people who will not appreciate "pop culture" references as they have other interests.

So ... how to find these lovely people??

You may need to use social media or the internet in a limited way. Check out "meet ups" and different organizations pages. Think about what you like to do. Here are some thoughts/ideas:

Are you politically or civic minded - join a group that volunteers for social change - you will meet like minded people;

Do you like art/drawing - look up your local art gallery - they often have tours of exhibits or other meet ups;

Like board games (nice, retro old school :)) - some pizza places, doughnut shops, brew pubs, etc have lots of games available and also host "game nights" so you can meet up and play Battleship or Scrabble or something;

Into hiking - lots of social groups and meet ups to enjoy light hiking and walks.

I'm just giving examples at the top of my head.

Think about what activities you enjoy. Then seek out others who enjoy those activities (using on-line resources, your community center, library etc for contact info).

Of course, I am a middle aged woman, living in a large city with lots of stuff going on. It might be different for someone in a smaller community or a different demographic.

All I can really assure you is that - not everyone is "into" pop culture. Trust me. :)



Fireblossom
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03 May 2018, 3:46 am

i_wanna_blue wrote:
As you probably know, finding other weirdos is not easy. I haven't seen anyone that appears to be on my weirdness level, so I haven't made much of an attempt to find others of my kind.

How did you manage to find like-minded individuals?


By using internet forums and going to events related to my special interests.



i_wanna_blue
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03 May 2018, 10:12 am

Fireblossom wrote:

By using internet forums and going to events related to my special interests.



CanadianRose wrote:
I use a bit of social media, more to stay in touch with family/friends and to share some of my interests with my friends. I don't have a lot of Facebook friends (only about 40 something). They are all known personally to me (I generally don't "friend" people I have never met in person).

I have met many people who don't engage in social media (or use it for only limited reasons). I also know many people who will not appreciate "pop culture" references as they have other interests.

So ... how to find these lovely people??

You may need to use social media or the internet in a limited way. Check out "meet ups" and different organizations pages. Think about what you like to do. Here are some thoughts/ideas:

Are you politically or civic minded - join a group that volunteers for social change - you will meet like minded people;

Do you like art/drawing - look up your local art gallery - they often have tours of exhibits or other meet ups;

Like board games (nice, retro old school :)) - some pizza places, doughnut shops, brew pubs, etc have lots of games available and also host "game nights" so you can meet up and play Battleship or Scrabble or something;

Into hiking - lots of social groups and meet ups to enjoy light hiking and walks.

I'm just giving examples at the top of my head.

Think about what activities you enjoy. Then seek out others who enjoy those activities (using on-line resources, your community center, library etc for contact info).

Of course, I am a middle aged woman, living in a large city with lots of stuff going on. It might be different for someone in a smaller community or a different demographic.

All I can really assure you is that - not everyone is "into" pop culture. Trust me. :)


Thanks for your replies. I suppose not everyone is into pop culture, but it does seem like there's quite a generic lifestyle out there, mostly orientated around using one's phone and the media one absorbs as a result of it. My phone only gets calls from wrong numbers and messages from my service provider. I guess a part of me doesn't want to look like a fool for being so out of touch, if I try to make friends again.

I suppose I have to make an effort to try and meet people, who have similar interests. Maybe I'm using this whole pop
culture thing as an excuse, since I'm looking for reasons not to fit in, pulling the plug on meeting folks before I get hurt. All of your recommendations seem pretty daunting for someone like me, but I guess I have to step out of my comfort zone if I want to find friends again.


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Spiderpig
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03 May 2018, 12:50 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:
Not into pop culture = impossible to make friends?


If it doesn't make it impossible, it certainly helps make it harder. That's why insulating your kids from pop culture, and helping them develop a cute, self-justifying hostility towards it is a superb asset in the toolchain of parents who don't want their kids to do what you tend to do when you actually breathe some outside air and meet people.


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banana247
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10 May 2018, 1:27 pm

Definitely harder but not impossible! as people have mentioned, you just have to get involved with activities that align with your interests. My interests happen to be social things, so even though i can research them at home or sort of practice by myself, it's not the full experience or the "real deal" unless it's a team effort. Those people "get" me, even if we don't all become best friends. I am most comfortable around those people and they are for sure "my people".

Try to find classes, clubs, or organizations that do the thing youre interested in. A community college can be a good place to start. If they have a class for it, enroll as an audit (for no credit). If they don't have a class, they may have a club.

I have found that giving the thing a purpose and then working toward the goal with others is a really effective way to make friends and bond over a common interest. IE, if your passion is animals, try becoming a volunteer for the animal rescue rather than just hanging around the dog park or Petco. Or if you like video games, instead of just looking for people to play them with, try researching programs or groups that help schools use video games for education, or that design games to make money for good causes.

Good luck! Your people are out there!