Say something normal that makes no sense when taken literal

Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ]

Previous topic | Next topic

billegge
Snowy Owl

Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982

08 May 2018, 3:31 pm

NT: The car alarm went off

My 8 year old son pointed out that
* The car alarm went "on"

lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,082
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

08 May 2018, 5:21 pm

^ I remember being confused by that too as a kid.

NT: Dad's gonna hit the ceiling when he sees my report card.
Me: Wow, can he really jump that high?

My mom: I'm so thirsty I could drink the ocean.
Me as a kid: But the ocean is too salty to drink!

NT: That's a very good question.
Me:Then how come you don't know the answer to it?

billegge
Snowy Owl

Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982

09 May 2018, 4:45 pm

NT: I think its time to teach him about the birds and the bees.

Me: Who doesn't know about birds and bees?

billegge
Snowy Owl

Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982

09 May 2018, 4:48 pm

NT (wife): Are you wearing that to the restaurant?

Me: Isn't it obvious I am?

billegge
Snowy Owl

Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982

09 May 2018, 4:52 pm

Me (when little): Can you buy me this car?
NT (mom): I don't have any money.
Me: Your buying groceries, so you do have money.

billegge
Snowy Owl

Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982

09 May 2018, 4:56 pm

NT: How are you?
Me: (for the 1000th time, trying to figure out how to answer that)

NewTime
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,017

09 May 2018, 7:42 pm

NT: A taste of your own medicine.

Of course. Why would taste someone else's medicine?

TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

09 May 2018, 7:53 pm

"Under the weather."

Aren't we always under the weather, since it comes from the sky?

Fireblossom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,574

10 May 2018, 3:01 am

"You won't leave the table until that plate is empty!"

...And yet it's not okay to just take the food off of the plate... why can't they just say "you won't leave the table until you've eaten all that's on your plate"?

Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 124
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,270
Location: Out of my mind

10 May 2018, 3:06 am

"The sun is out."

If it was out, wouldn't it be dark?
I always had a lot of trouble with those kinds of phrases.

_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking

ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,672
Location: Long Island, New York

10 May 2018, 9:46 am

There is the famous George Carlin saying about driving on the parkway, and parking in the driveway.

George Carlin was great at pointing these things out

_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman

Hydromind
Butterfly

Joined: 15 Jul 2016
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 15

10 May 2018, 10:45 am

My mom: "Suck it up."
Me: "I don't know how to suck it up!"

And the sequel...

My mom: "Suck it up."
My sister: "I don't know what to suck up!"

NewTime
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,017

10 May 2018, 11:06 am

Hydromind wrote:

My mom: "Suck it up."
Me: "I don't know how to suck it up!"

And the sequel...

My mom: "Suck it up."
My sister: "I don't know what to suck up!"

I'm not a vacuum cleaner.

EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

10 May 2018, 12:33 pm

Mom: He's always shooting his mouth off.

Me: That must be really painful and messy.

Whoever: I was literally scared to death.

Me: You look pretty good for a zombie.

League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,226
Location: Pacific Northwest

13 May 2018, 10:37 am

Me to my NT son when a toddler: Watch the dirt
Him: *Looks at the dirt pile I had swept into a pile*

_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.

VegetableMan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,208
Location: Illinois

13 May 2018, 10:47 am

"Get your s**t together!"

Yeah, that's what I need! A great big pile of s**t!

_________________
What do you call a hot dog in a gangster suit?

Oscar Meyer Lansky

Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ]

Jump to:

Say something normal that makes no sense when taken literal Post Reply New Topic

Say something normal that makes no sense when taken literal