Meeting Someone with ASD - Your Opinions, Please

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FandomConnection
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16 May 2018, 5:29 am

I was diagnosed with ASD in the last year. I have never met someone else with autism (to my knowledge). I am interested in meeting/talking to somebody with autism. I know of somebody through my university who is openly autistic; however, I do not actually know them at all, and have never spoken to them.

Do you think it would be appropriate for me to go and introduce myself to them? How would you go about it if you were in my place?


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kraftiekortie
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16 May 2018, 8:39 am

If you’re lucky enough to have a class with this person, it would be easier.

Or if you’re in the same club.

Otherwise, the only way, really, is to say hi and introduce yourself. But don’t mention anything about autism until he does.



neilson_wheels
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16 May 2018, 8:59 am

Not sure about introducing yourself to one person specifically. Is there an Autism advocate at your university? Do you want to be open about your Autism?

Do you have Meetup or something similar where you are? If so, there should be an Autism group.



ChefDave
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16 May 2018, 9:42 am

If you want to meet autistic people, you might check with meetup. Meetup is a social coordination platform that allows viewers to search for existing groups or to form a new group. Typical groups include board games, movie watchers, and people who want to dine out. Although I've never seen a group for autism, I have seen a posting for a social anxiety group.

I have never joined meetup. I don't think they have a subscription fee. I do know that if you'd like to start up a group, there would be a nominal fee. On the flip side you would then be in charge of this group and would control the information you posted along with dates, times, and locations for each meeting.



Lonehiker
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16 May 2018, 9:52 am

You could speak to someone at your Universities student services department. They might have an autism support service or could refer/signpost you to a local autism group.



EzraS
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16 May 2018, 9:53 am

Yeah I think it's okay if they're openly autistic and you're looking for insights or whatever.



kraftiekortie
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16 May 2018, 9:55 am

But don't mention anything about autism at first. Treat him like you would treat any other person. That's essential.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 16 May 2018, 10:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

EzraS
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16 May 2018, 9:59 am

I wouldn't be bothered all that much if someone my age said they were diagnosed with autism and is it okay if we talk. Of course I don't talk so that would be the real problem. But then again I always have someone with me to mediate or whatever.



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16 May 2018, 10:00 am

I'm a member of an Asperger's group. I found it just by putting into google "Asperger's group <my city here>". Might not be as successful if you're in a small town.

While, already knowing that they have ASD, I can see autistic traits in the people in the group, I think there are very few of them whom I would be able to identify as definitely having ASD without knowing in advance that they do.

The impression that I have is that my Asperger's group is probably generally higher functioning that average people on WrongPlanet. But then maybe that's just because people on WrongPlanet talk about their difficulties more than people in my Asperger's group.


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FandomConnection
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16 May 2018, 3:15 pm

neilson_wheels wrote:
Not sure about introducing yourself to one person specifically. Is there an Autism advocate at your university? Do you want to be open about your Autism?

Do you have Meetup or something similar where you are? If so, there should be an Autism group.


I don't know about an 'autism advocate' at my university. I definitely have never heard of one. However, this person (who is in a higher year than me) has written for the university newspaper about their experience as a student with autism, and also given presentations to staff about teaching people with autism.

As for being open about my autism, I am still trying to decide. It is my dream to be openly autistic, but my parents would be extremely angry if I became so.


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Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.


FandomConnection
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16 May 2018, 3:27 pm

EzraS wrote:
Yeah I think it's okay if they're openly autistic and you're looking for insights or whatever.


I am essentially looking for insights. My parents have actively prevented me from learning about what it means to live with ASD (because they are sort of in denial). This forum is really the only place I can talk about it.


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Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.


ChefDave
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16 May 2018, 3:45 pm

FandomConnection wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Yeah I think it's okay if they're openly autistic and you're looking for insights or whatever.


I am essentially looking for insights. My parents have actively prevented me from learning about what it means to live with ASD (because they are sort of in denial). This forum is really the only place I can talk about it.


Hmmm ... I've met other aspies and personally I found them quite annoying. One older guy I met told me that he didn't think being friends with me would be worth the cost/benefit involved. (Eye roll). One woman I met insisted that borrow a book about living with Asperger's. I didn't want to borrow the book but she insisted. I really don't like pushy people.

With this being said, I am a reclusive introvert. Outside of work, I keep to myself. I don't feel any need for human companionship and prefer spending my time when I'm not at work by myself with just cats for companions ... but that's just me and the autistic spectrum is called the spectrum for a reason. The spectrum covers a wide variety of abilities and some people are clearly more capable of being social while others are not.

I don't think that reaching out is a bad thing to do. You could strike up a friendship that will last throughout your lifetime. You could also roll snake eyes and find that you really don't care for this person. Unless you reach out to this person, you'll never know.

If you're comfortable with making an introduction, then go for it. The absolute worst thing that will happen is your effort will be rebuffed. If that happens, don't feel bad. Remember that the spectrum is the spectrum and some people may not be as socially inclined as you are.

If you do decide to reach out to this other person, I'd really appreciate hearing about how things went.

Best wishes!

David



neilson_wheels
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16 May 2018, 5:54 pm

FandomConnection wrote:
I don't know about an 'autism advocate' at my university. I definitely have never heard of one. However, this person (who is in a higher year than me) has written for the university newspaper about their experience as a student with autism, and also given presentations to staff about teaching people with autism.


It sounds like this person is an autism advocate.



FandomConnection
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16 May 2018, 5:58 pm

neilson_wheels wrote:
FandomConnection wrote:
I don't know about an 'autism advocate' at my university. I definitely have never heard of one. However, this person (who is in a higher year than me) has written for the university newspaper about their experience as a student with autism, and also given presentations to staff about teaching people with autism.


It sounds like this person is an autism advocate.


Do some places have an official autism advocate?


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Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.


neilson_wheels
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16 May 2018, 6:01 pm

Sorry, I don't know for sure, it was last century when I was at university.