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Is a group home setting appropriate?

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redbrick1
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

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Age: 49
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Location: Bay Area

08 Jun 2018, 8:25 am

blazingstar wrote:
Ilikemusic wrote:
redbrick1 wrote:
blazingstar wrote:
If you can live on your own, a group home is not appropriate. Least restrictive setting and all that stuff. Everyone has bad days. Doesn't mean you have to live in a group home.

It might be difficult. You will certainly make mistakes. You will also have successes. You will also, for better or for worse, it will be your life.

Most parents (and I have worked with parents for 20 years now) are too protective and underestimate the abilities of their "disabled" adult children.

Tell your parents to watch Finding Nemo again. Near the beginning, pay attention to what Dory tells Nemo's dad.

Least restrictive setting only applies to the k thru 12 sped setting. And you really don't know what he means by 'bad day'


Yeah, thats what I was thinking too. I always hear least restrictive setting at my IEP meetings. At school that means 2 regular classes and 2 SPED classes for me. Yeah, I have really bad days where I cant really function. I get overstimulated more easily and I get more frustrated than usual. It lasts the whole day. I will also just want to lay down on my bed and watch the fan spin. It is soothing to watch. Its my favorite thing. I went to school feeling this way and I ended up having a nap in my last class. When I go to school feeling frustrated and overstimulated, its difficult for me and my teachers. I dont really know how to cope except for with a lot of stimming and watching relaxing movements such as the fan or the laundry machine. My parents always think its a bit weird to find me sitting by the laundry machine just watching it spin. Then they realize that its a sign I have had or am going to have a bad day. I guess they are scared that my bad days will interfere with my ability to do necessary tasks.


I know that "least restrictive setting" is used in schools and I used that term specifically because I knew the OP would understand the concept. For adults, the idea of having each individual be as independent as possible is the still the same goal.

While I don't know what a bad day is for this particular poster, I know lots of people in independent living who have very bad days.

I know parents who have never permitted their autistic adult children to learn, grow and become independent once they become adults. It is extremely sad to watch someone with potential slowing lose functioning and become either like a zombie or develop severe behavior problems, which causes caregivers in group homes to medication them even more.

ALL people living "independently" have some sort of supports whether governmental, community, family and so on. This OP may need supports, especially in the beginning. That doesn't mean he should spend his life in a group home.

Ilikemusic, your life is your own life and you get to make the decisions, unless you have been adjudicated incompetent. You can listen to advice and then make your own decisions. You can always move to a group home if you find independent living unsuited to you. If you decide now to live in a group home, that is okay to. It is your decision.

I see parents who deny support for you following your own dreams to live independently as possible by withdrawing their support as misguided.

But this is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it. You have had other opinions here as well. I wish you the best whatever you choose.

Yes certainly do. Very smug ones.



Ilikemusic
Deinonychus
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Joined: 13 May 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 311
Location: Los Angeles

08 Jun 2018, 9:05 am

redbrick1 wrote:
blazingstar wrote:
Ilikemusic wrote:
redbrick1 wrote:
blazingstar wrote:
If you can live on your own, a group home is not appropriate. Least restrictive setting and all that stuff. Everyone has bad days. Doesn't mean you have to live in a group home.

It might be difficult. You will certainly make mistakes. You will also have successes. You will also, for better or for worse, it will be your life.

Most parents (and I have worked with parents for 20 years now) are too protective and underestimate the abilities of their "disabled" adult children.

Tell your parents to watch Finding Nemo again. Near the beginning, pay attention to what Dory tells Nemo's dad.

Least restrictive setting only applies to the k thru 12 sped setting. And you really don't know what he means by 'bad day'


Yeah, thats what I was thinking too. I always hear least restrictive setting at my IEP meetings. At school that means 2 regular classes and 2 SPED classes for me. Yeah, I have really bad days where I cant really function. I get overstimulated more easily and I get more frustrated than usual. It lasts the whole day. I will also just want to lay down on my bed and watch the fan spin. It is soothing to watch. Its my favorite thing. I went to school feeling this way and I ended up having a nap in my last class. When I go to school feeling frustrated and overstimulated, its difficult for me and my teachers. I dont really know how to cope except for with a lot of stimming and watching relaxing movements such as the fan or the laundry machine. My parents always think its a bit weird to find me sitting by the laundry machine just watching it spin. Then they realize that its a sign I have had or am going to have a bad day. I guess they are scared that my bad days will interfere with my ability to do necessary tasks.


I know that "least restrictive setting" is used in schools and I used that term specifically because I knew the OP would understand the concept. For adults, the idea of having each individual be as independent as possible is the still the same goal.

While I don't know what a bad day is for this particular poster, I know lots of people in independent living who have very bad days.

I know parents who have never permitted their autistic adult children to learn, grow and become independent once they become adults. It is extremely sad to watch someone with potential slowing lose functioning and become either like a zombie or develop severe behavior problems, which causes caregivers in group homes to medication them even more.

ALL people living "independently" have some sort of supports whether governmental, community, family and so on. This OP may need supports, especially in the beginning. That doesn't mean he should spend his life in a group home.

Ilikemusic, your life is your own life and you get to make the decisions, unless you have been adjudicated incompetent. You can listen to advice and then make your own decisions. You can always move to a group home if you find independent living unsuited to you. If you decide now to live in a group home, that is okay to. It is your decision.

I see parents who deny support for you following your own dreams to live independently as possible by withdrawing their support as misguided.

But this is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it. You have had other opinions here as well. I wish you the best whatever you choose.

Yes certainly do. Very smug ones.


What is smug?


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kraftiekortie
Veteran
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Jun 2018, 10:09 am

A "smug" person is a person who feels he/she is "above it all," and that his/her opinions are the only opinions worth considering.

A "smug" person is a person who is stuck in a rut while thinking he/she is "all that."



redbrick1
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

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Joined: 25 Dec 2015
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 300
Location: Bay Area

08 Jun 2018, 10:17 am

Ilikemusic: that was not directed toward you, another poster has an air of arrogance and a sense that her opinions, while way off base, are somehow superior to that to others.