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VengefulMenace11
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13 Jun 2018, 7:50 pm

I can't do anything anymore. I have no energy, motivation, willpower, or any self love whatsoever. I am seriously thinking about killing myself. I'm afraid of everyone and everything. My PTSD has total control of my life. I can't even rest properly because I always have the same 3 nightmares. Every. Single. WEEK. Multiple times a week. I've regressed so far. I'm unemployed and stuck living with my dirt poor family. I always hide in my room and only leave to use the bathroom, eat, or take care of the pets. I'm a burden on my family. I hate my father. I have NO friends. I wonder why I'm still alive at this point, when I'm just a waste of air and disability money. I feel my sadness screaming to be released, but I can't cry anymore. I'll never live happily or be in a relationship. The last friend That actually cared about me killed herself. I wish I could join her. I can't even think of anything more to say because I'm a wreck right now. I'm tired of existing. People tell me to just "get over it" or "don't let yourself feel that way". Every time people tell me these things, I want to throw a brick at their teeth. I can't type properly because of all the emotions I'm feeling. I'm done here. I'm tired of fighting my depression and PTSD.



Sarahsmith
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14 Jun 2018, 8:15 am

Yeah I used to suffer from suicidal depression. When I was suicidal there was no talking me out of it. Untill I commited myself to a mental hospital. That really turned things around for me. I then got my own place which also seemed to make a big difference. Im still not happy, but at least Im more content and dont want to kill myself anymore. Now I want to live more. Maybe marijuana would make you feel better. That sometimes worked for me.



LeyIori27
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17 Jun 2018, 4:41 pm

I feel you a lot, waking up everyday with depression and PTSD, it's not an easy task, it's tiring and exhausting, I wish I could cure mine as well, you have my sympathy,



Chronos
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18 Jun 2018, 1:31 am

VengefulMenace11 wrote:
I can't do anything anymore. I have no energy, motivation, willpower, or any self love whatsoever. I am seriously thinking about killing myself. I'm afraid of everyone and everything. My PTSD has total control of my life. I can't even rest properly because I always have the same 3 nightmares. Every. Single. WEEK. Multiple times a week. I've regressed so far. I'm unemployed and stuck living with my dirt poor family. I always hide in my room and only leave to use the bathroom, eat, or take care of the pets. I'm a burden on my family. I hate my father. I have NO friends. I wonder why I'm still alive at this point, when I'm just a waste of air and disability money. I feel my sadness screaming to be released, but I can't cry anymore. I'll never live happily or be in a relationship. The last friend That actually cared about me killed herself. I wish I could join her. I can't even think of anything more to say because I'm a wreck right now. I'm tired of existing. People tell me to just "get over it" or "don't let yourself feel that way". Every time people tell me these things, I want to throw a brick at their teeth. I can't type properly because of all the emotions I'm feeling. I'm done here. I'm tired of fighting my depression and PTSD.


I think a significant contributor to how you are feeling right now stems from your lack of a good night's sleep and there is most certainly something that can be done about that. I recommend seeing a psychiatrist and discussing your issues with them. They can give you an injection of time release haldol. While this medication is an anti psychotic, it also has a sedative effect and can induce apathy towards anxiety and fears. In short, it may make you too sleepy to care about or have nightmares and once the medication wears off, they might not come back. Used in the short term it can do wonders. Speak with a psychiatrist about it.



hale_bopp
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18 Jun 2018, 2:18 pm

You won’t just get over it. Being suicidal is not something to be taken lightly.

It sounds like you have some pretty severe depression. Some advice that’s helped me, which I received on here. Even if you can do one thing every day that is fruitful, useful or positive, it’s a good start. Even just putting clean washing away, or having a shower.

Small steps. I scream in my sleep as well. I can’t tell you how to help that.

Your feelings are real. Stuff people who won’t acknowledge them.

Is that character out of banjo kazooie?



VengefulMenace11
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20 Jun 2018, 2:08 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
You won’t just get over it. Being suicidal is not something to be taken lightly.

It sounds like you have some pretty severe depression. Some advice that’s helped me, which I received on here. Even if you can do one thing every day that is fruitful, useful or positive, it’s a good start. Even just putting clean washing away, or having a shower.

Small steps. I scream in my sleep as well. I can’t tell you how to help that.

Your feelings are real. Stuff people who won’t acknowledge them.

Is that character out of banjo kazooie?



Yeah, doing things like cleaning or showering do help a little. One thing that's driving me mad is the acre and a half of lawn I have to do by push mower, and I hardly get any help because everyone else is employed and "don't have the time" to do ANYTHING around the house. I feel if I move out, I might not feel nearly as bad as I do now.

And about my profile picture, It's King K Rool from the DKC games in the 90s, also made by Rareware.



Peacesells
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20 Jun 2018, 6:04 pm

If you want to talk sometimes you can send me a PM, just promise me that you won't do any harm to yourself please.