Putting my foot down with my aunt

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Hi:
Last year I had a falling out with my aunt who I had moved in with 15 years ago and moved out on my own 8 years ago. She has a really controlling side and the tendency to be really destructive and has said some nasty things to me over the phone last fall because we have been drifting apart and outgrowing a lot of things. I decided to cut the relationship loose because.
1. She's really controlling
2. She can be really destructive and has made me feel bad many times
3. She said some things to me last fall that I have always been a selfish person and that I have not changed

She has emailed me on a few occasions about a few practical things but I got an email today about wanting to renovate my kitchen because there is enough money to do so. I wrote back today and told her that based on our last interactions last fall, I said that I felt like the relationship is not healthy based on the interactions over the phone last fall and that we were just going to bring out the worst in each other. I requested that it's not a good idea to contact each other for a while and that we both need a break.

I can relate here, but I don't really get your message about the renovation email?
Let me tell you what I think.

A) Do the kitchen thing only if you really feel you want to change it.
B) Keep your distance from your controlling aunt (clearly it's her who is acting selfishly)
C) You have been on your own since you were 28, so ask yourself, what hold or right does she have on you now?

A. I don't want to change it right now because I am in school finishing my program and everything in their works and I am happy with what I have.
B. We had not spoken in 9 months and the only emails she sent me between the kitchen one and the last two times where she was mean on the phone - she didn't really ask me how I was. Rather the email was about money
C. She used to be the rep over my social security but since I no longer qualify, I am now trying to get ahold of that money since she's not the rep anymore.

As far as what I spend my money on and what happens to those social security funds, it's none of her business anymore.