is it difficult for you to "let go" of negative experiences?

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Part of my problem with stress is because of me having troubles with letting negative experiences go. It seems like previous negative experiences has broken something within me so my body has begun to react with physical symptoms when ever I encounter something that causes even the slightest bit of stress or worry.
I recognize this as a problem I need to solve and wish to become more resilient to negative episodes because I have learned that it is simply impossible to avoid. Even if I try to be socially discrete I can witness the drama and conflicts from where I stand and I just know I can`t handle much of it my self anymore and I just stick to my discretion. So to me it feels necessary to shelter myself from more stressful experiences until I have found a way to deal with what I already have in my casket and are able to experience negative episodes without my body shutting down .. I don`t know how to say it.

It is a problem to me to be this fragile and it takes some strength to deal with and to stay strong despite of it. So far I try to focus on my goals, everyday tasks and the things I actually can do that will develop my life and abilities in a positive direction and force myself to not think about the negative experiences. I used to think about them all the time as if to try and "solve" the problems they held. As if I could make things right by analyzing everything over and over. But of course it only made them bigger and stronger and overwhelmed me. My mind didn`t want to let them go either, my thoughts got hung up with them and still will if I am not careful to control what I let my mind engage it self with(sorry if my English is really bad).

I will let myself be inspired by anyone and anything that offers a good and useful perspective on the issue. I am turning every stone to find something that might be useful

I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Have you looked at any information on Complex PTSD? In the States there's still some argument that PTSD only arises from actual injury (combat, car wrecks) - elsewhere there's more belief that any existential threat that is strong enough (workplace bullying, severe emotional abuse, or witnessing the injury or abuse of another) can produce it.

There are some MDs etc. in the States who take the wider view. As a survivor of severe bullying, I'm glad there are.

Thank you Esme I will look into it. I haven`t really so far because I have also thought of it as mainly connected with other types of experiences than mine.

At least I feel that positive experiences and comfortable activities are pushing away the memories of the bad. But still I have become hyper fragile and need to grow thicker skin

From a brutally honest standpoint, there has been time where I wished I had suffered brain damage resulting in memories of negative experiences were permanently erased;however, that would also mean the permanent removal of good ones too, so I do as best as I can to close my eyes to those torments as possible.

Some little things I can have trouble letting go of because I'm frustrated I didn't understand the situation at the time. When I think back then I realize how I wish I'd acted.

This is literally impossible for me to do thanks to my crazy autobiographical Aspie memory I remember every single negative experience that has ever happened to me ever in my life with crystal clear clarity as if it happened 5 minutes ago.

This remains one of my greatest challenges and the greatest obstacle preventing me from really enjoying any sort of happiness whatsoever in life.

_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away.

thank you Xatrix, I do hope the "retirement cure" works for you too when it's time

I can forgive, but often the experience tends to stay. I mean... Put it this way. If I get one of those evenings where I get a pressurized claustrophobic minds where thoughts can come to me quickly (Unusual for me as I am a slow but deep thinker and I seem to be always thinking (Is always thinking normal?)) where I often replay many negative situations in my mind.

I can't let go of things. I will make a small social mistake and it will be filed away forever in a library of similar small moments that no body cares about. I will agonise over them and freak out for days. For example, I misunderstood a comment my friend made about not wanting to see me too often as it becomes overwhelming and even after she explained her true meaning it was burned into my memory and has affected how I contact her ever since. A similar experience happened with my mother and her saying she believed a FEW meltdowns were subconscious attention seeking and I took that as every time I struggle people think I'm trying to get attention. Years later and I'm still terrified everyone will turn on me when I leave a room.

It's definitely shaped me and not for the better. I was bullied in primary school and when I finally though I'd fond an amazing friend, it was revealed to me in front of my bullies that she never liked me and only talked to me because the teacher told her to. I was mortified and now, nearing a decade later, I never feel truly safe with my friends or trust people fully after another set of things involving my dad.

Short answer this time: yes. That's difficult for me.

Yes. But that's normal I think. As sometimes, when I get times where I feel like my head will explode, any past experiences whic have not have been dealt with in a satisfactory way come back at speed... So I do all I can in life to make sure I resolve any issues so I have not hurt anyone...

I was 13 when two kids made an attempt on my life throwing rocks, I was groomed and abused, I was mocked and threatened daily by thugs till the age of 28, when all of a sudden I "got in touch with my anger" and started to turn the tables on them. I was a perfect victim because I let everything go for years, but in the process of reversing my situation I became stubborn and vindictive.

Things have evened out over the last 20 years, my PTSD is much better and I don't allow so many opportunities for people to take advantage. In the last few years I'm finding it harder to get over my own failures, whenever I let myself or other people down.

This is where having a wonky cloudy memory is to my advantage.