Ways to deal with toxic groups

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If you spend enough time on the internet, no matter who or what you are, you will likely come across a group with ideologies that vilify your demographic, and which is toxic to you.

For those of you who don't know, I am an Ashkenazi jew. As many of you do know, my demographic was once a victim of genocide. That was before my time, however, there are still groups today who would wish for my death based on my ethnicity alone. They hate me without knowing me and they think I believe things that I don't, and it is nearly impossible to convince them otherwise. Sometimes the beliefs of these groups manifests as more than the intangible. Typically it's just a slur, however my cousin once had her house vandalized by a neo Nazi group and had to move to a different city.

The thing that has always upset me about these groups is they have made me out to be someone or something I am not, and typically give me no chance to prove otherwise.

There are actually a lot of people like that in the world; those who hate you for your race, ethnicity, sex, religion, nationality, favorite sports team, disability status, etc, and some people might hate you for no well defined reason. While most people don't hate you and wouldn't, the number of people who would hate you without even knowing you would probably fill a city.

But they don't need to exist in your universe most of the time, and you define your universe.

Stand up and imagine a circle around you with a three foot radius. That is your universe. If you are the only one standing in it, you are the only one in your universe. Your enemies do not exist there.

I am in my apartment. This is my universe. My enemies don't exist here right now. Right now, neo Nazis might as well be a figment of my imagination just like whatever alien civilizations in the universe are to me at the moment or some guy named John Smith in Texas. They probably exist but I am isolated from them so they effectively don't.

I can bring neo Nazis in to my universe. I can go down the street and find some and possibly get my teeth kicked in or go get in to a fruitless discussion with one on Stormfront and then the internet will construct a universe around me filled with neo Nazis and make them far more prolific seeming than they are. But I choose to not have that in my life to the best of my ability by avoiding those sites, and when I do occadionally visit them, I make sure I am not signed in to anything and when I am done I clear my cache and cookies and browser history and ensure I have opted out of my ISPs targeted marketing to avoid content on the subject from intruding back in to my life and I don't let the idea that someone...a lot of people actually, out there hate me for just existing occupy my time or consume my energy because those people will always exist somewhere out there but they don't have to exist often in my universe.

If you are trapped in a toxic online echo box, destroy it by clearing your data and opting out of directed advertising. Then close your browser...better yet turn your device off, then take a breath and look around you. It's gone.

While they are annoying, they're only dangerous when they're able to set policy.

When that happens, you work hard to canvass and to kick them the hell out.

When they don't have any position of power, they just come off as they really are - pathetic low-lifes with zero self-esteem.

Case in point, David Duke is a pathetic wimp who deserves all the scorn and derision that he gets. Not only is he a racist, but at least in his later years he has zero self-esteem as well. After Chris Evans and Duke got into a fight, I made a joke on twitter that Duke is The Hate Monger - a KKK villain in the Captain America comics - apparently it got to him so much that he banned me immediately.

If that's what their grand wizard / dragon / etc? No idea, all sounds like deranged psychotic cosplay - you can only tell what the rest of them are like. They're all just slime and you brush them off like the sewer rats they are.

Not to mention more than half of them on twitter are hilarious as hell due to constantly displaying their lack of intelligence, for example they call people "loosers." That's not upsetting, that's funny - what's a "looser"?

It's also comical, as a Union boy (NY pride all the way), seeing Southern bigoted right-wingers trying to pretend that they're Union. As a Union boy with Union heritage, there's just something really funny and weirdly pathetic about that.

It’s really hard when you are in a toxic group that goes against your beliefs but you think it’s “the Truth,” so you can’t leave. I was in a fundamentalist cult that was misogynistic and homophobic. As a liberally minded feminist, I was constantly at war with myself. Ugh!

Thankfully, I’m out now and can usually avoid those types. One benefit is that I can understand people that have, to me, abhorrent beliefs. They’re often raised with these ideas and are part of their belief system. It’s hard to get rid of beliefs from childhood that have strong neural pathways.

As an lgbtq guy, I can't go on the internet without seeing homophobes on twitter trolling articles about our rights to be equal. They're also constantly trolling lgbtq videos and forums as well. Plus, just going to a gay club is a hassle since they're always outside picketing and could be a threat when walking out.

I'd like to say they could be easily avoided, but that isn't my experience with them.

I take comfort in just knowing how pathetic they are since - at least from my perspective as a guy who digs dudes - they've always been everywhere.

Don't spend so much time on the internet.

Be aware that there is all sorts of craziness on the Net. You can spend all day watching UTube vids about how "the Earth is flat", and on latest proof that the "Mandella Effect is real'. And that's just benign stupidity. Think about that ….how disproportionate the presence of benign stupidity is made to look on UTube! So you know that truly malignant stupidity is also gonna get a platform on the Web, and look like its bigger and more powerful than it is.

Im a male White WASP so I am the same ethnicity as most of the high profile bigots on the Web. But I do run across those flaky Black folks who make those vids that ask "are White people human?". To me those folks just look silly and pathetic. Doesn't occur to me to be in anyway afraid of them. But yeah...if I were of a smaller population group, and of group only recently victimized by genocide, like Jews, I might be afraid of anti-Semitic stuff on the web. But like I said above the Web is a mirror that makes "objects look bigger than they really are".

The best way to deal with toxic groups?

Step 1: Log off from the Internet.

There is no Step 2.

I think people are mastering the art of click-bait right now. Facebook and Twitter are full of it, while I like Minds it's filled with it as well because your likes are monetized.

So right now we have a really good working theory of what click-bait, echo chambers, and political Balkanization as people retreat to their own elective fantasy lands looks like. What we need to see next is what it looks like when people who really want to know what's going on, participate, have the attention span for long-form and even tedious conversations, and come up with very reasoned and even somewhat anticlimactic yet important policy ideas start using the internet as their town hall, or where the think-tanks start getting based more broadly across the internet.

I think social media is going through a turbulent phase right now, we're still hashing out what it's capable of, and while we've seen a lot of discouraging signs we're also seeing a few encouraging signs to go with it as well.

On people who want to believe something to believe something - you're right, let law enforcement deal with them if necessary but otherwise if their unreason is solidly locked down there's not much point bothering with them directly and a lot more point figuring out not just who has the same position you do but also who else wants to steal the fire from whatever might be adding to their numbers.

Social Media can often be weaponized by bullies. Bullies hiding behind the mask of anonymity thrive on the Internet. So in general, I would generally recommend caution when using it unless you have developed a fairly thick skin. Many time social media can become battle grounds where people throw normal civility away when discussing topics.

So my advise is to do not let the perception from social media or even the news distort your perception of the real world. Most people are really good people. There are a few rotten apples but they are in the minority. Also exercise caution when applying labels onto individuals. Labels can dehumanize people. There is way too much of that nowadays.

Toxic masculinity ... toxic femininity ... no, it's just people being arrogant, prideful, and self-centered.

Most of these people, IMO----be they the BLM, the Neo-Nazis, or alot of these feminists groups, etc.----seem to be full of terribly insecure people, and people wearing very serious blinders (narrow-minded). They seem to want to BEAT their opinion into others' heads, and DAMN them if they don't believe / follow them!

I, basically, have 2 principles, when it comes to most of these groups: Consider ALL (as in, all opinions, experiences, etc.); and, follow NO ONE. BOTH----not considering all opinions, and following everybody and their brother----only blocks one's path to learning (and thus, growth), IMO, and why would anyone choose to do that? I think it's because they feel that if they seek within whatever group / ideology / whatever, that they'll find themselves----but, instead, IMO, they need to seek within THEMSELVES; but, that takes far greater effort. It's much easier to don someone else's opinion, like a warm cloak, than it is to weave a cloak of our own----but, WARNING: Another's cloak is often full of holes!

It would be good if, as a lot of them check out of it or outgrow the perspectives, that they become really savvy at checking it when they see it in other people.

In a lot of ways I have to consider conformity for its own sake one of our evolutionary adaptations. There is some silver lining to being on the autistic spectrum and it lines up with NT's who've just had life experiences that shaped them in ways other people couldn't relate to - ie. that simply costing and being the crowd doesn't work and you're forced to go your own way and think critically. That's part of how I think a lot of us are able to watch it sail by us with some bewilderment rather than getting caught right up in it.