18, thinking about suicide or joining KKK

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I have autism and have been through a rough childhood life. I am now living alone and sometimes I still act aggressive like a toddler. My mom doesn't allow me to work because she claims it will ruin my Social Security payment of $200-$300 a month. However, my dad, completely different, he said he wants me to work because I post too much on social media and he thinks I should get laid. I haven't found any friends and I have only been living in my city for two months.

My mom also doesn't want me driving because of my behavioral issues that still affect her. I cannot even do the things that most 18-year-olds do. My mom told me that I'm not most 18-year-olds because I'm autistic. Recently, I threw a huge tantrum outside of the house when I was told my yellow shirt was wrinkled after I told her I didn't see it was, and she said ohh it ok its just constructive criticism and I didn't believe in that crap. Another time was over a month ago when my mom's second husband (my half brother's father) yelled at him when he was calling me when I thought he yelled at me, and I immediately yelled and run away from my door and "knocked" (actually banged) on a neighbor's door and he was threatening to kill me and call the police, and I called him the n-word when my mom was on a phone call with me (note: the neighbor is white) and she said oh its ok calm down.

My soon-to-be-former step dad is really aggressive, closed-minded, violent, extremely sexist and homophobic, and not racist (but his family talks crap about my mother and anybody who is black or Mexican). My step dad's brother and his wife used my mom and reveal secrets about other people, so my mom won't let my brother near his cousins anymore.

My mom's family and my stepdad's family consists mostly of Armenians, including those of Lebanese and Syrian birth. My dad's family also consists of Syrians, but also Jordanians and Palestinians.

You're 18 and officially an adult now. You don't have to do what your mom says. You can get a job, get a car, move out, and do what you like. Do you live with your mom? If your mom isn't supportive of your independence, maybe you can live with your father while you save up to move somewhere.

Disown you? Is she extremely wealthy or something?

when my mom tells me to grow up, I try, but when I do act grown up, mom treats me like a child.. I never win over my mom. She's authoritarian and secretly doesn't want me near anyone that's not Armenian. She is making excuses for me to be a racist, she calls em all crack heads or ghettos but not in the way they are defined

: She wants me to be a beta male. The thing is she is not lying. She actually put me on Social Security Disability. I am already an alpha male and I have this alpha male image on Instagram (usually all the hotties follow me first and I only comment nice things on their pages, usually not even compliments to their body or clothes).

On a side note, I used to be a beta male. Maybe even an omega male once. The last time I was beta was when I was chatting with my childhood female friend

I have two, maybe three choices now: either focus on school, commit suicide, or join the KKK.
I even have my own credit card and buy my own things, usually food. Mom will buy me clothes when she picks me up as well as my half brother but that's because I'm very low on money (usually $100 or less)


I get all the hot chicks (all real, none of that catfish or fashion model bs) on Instagram but my dad still doesn't think I get laid because I posted advice about age of consent, women, and pedophilia on Facebook (he doesn't understand that I don't meet hot chicks through Fb)

At 18, suicide should be the furthest from your mind. There's always more you can do with your life; don't do it. If you're unsure of what you want to do with your life, then find some way to buy you some time- try to join job corps or engage in something thought-provoking in the education sector. There's beauty in life and I wouldn't want anyone to discount that disparagingly. Life's hard on its' own, but you can decide what that's worth for your own namesake.

Personally, I'd advise against joining said group but it's your life, do it right

Keep seeking counsel, keep asking questions

Sorry to say it but your mom sounds very troublesome and difficult. Go your own way and don't let her mess with your head.

I vote no to both suicide and KKK and yes to education.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don’t go that route. Life goes on. Sometimes it’s hard, even for a long time, but, it goes on - and it becomes what You make of it.

KKK? As a (mostly) white man, that’s embarrassing to hear. Seriously. Why would you want to join the KKK?

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.