Getting back with my previous therapist

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I've recently gotten back in contact with my previous therapist after having an unsuccessful run with speaking to a different one as well as a psychiatrist for the first half of this year. Our sessions start again this coming Monday but they won't be every week like they used to be nor will they be as long.

I always brought up my struggles with finding a girlfriend to my therapist. I just wonder if she will still hear me out on them even though she has told me she won't let me ruminate on my past.

The model of weekly therapy sessions is somewhat arbitrary. What is magic about 7 days between sessions? Nothing. I personally find it more useful to have a longer interval, anyway. I know this therapist was someone you thought sympathetic, so best wishes for a productive course. I think what she told you about ruminating on the past matches what a lot of people here have said. We want you to be able to move forward, not stay stuck in a rut.

Did you find that your previous therapist helped? If so, what caused you to stop seeing them?

Therapists and psychologists are trained to assist people to work through their mental and emotional problems as well as modify thought patterns to bring about more beneficial and preferable behaviour. My experience with the psychologist I had is that there's pretty much nothing they can do to help you change your relationship status or get a girlfriend, if that's what you're hoping to get out of the sessions. And if you will continue to be depressed until such a time that you have a girlfriend, the only thing a therapist or psych can really do is try to steer you in a direction that might increase your chances of meeting someone, probably by suggesting you put yourself out there more by going to social events and meet-ups, or maybe by suggesting self-improvement.

She's mentioned wanting to live more actively because sitting for too long was getting bad for her health so that's another reason why for the bi-weekly visits.



It wasn't my choice. It was due to her being bullied by medical insurance companies as well as her feeling like we hit a wall.

I've actually been feeling more uplifted mentally since I got back in contact with my therapist.

Good luck! I wish you the best. It's nice you already know her, and won't have to explain your life history/issues all over again like you would if were seeing someone new. Try to make the most of your sessions and do whatever homework she assigns you, as it will only help you more in the long run.

Again, I wish you the best Marknis

I am happy to hear this! You deserve it.

I hope it goes well for you! good luck!!

Thank you to all who posted well wishes! I feel like I am seeing some white light from the mouth of infinity.

I hope she can help me find a way to feel that there is hope for me to have a girlfriend even if I missed out dating in my teen years and my 20's.

I think a therapist could help you work on social skills which might help you get a girlfriend, but remember don’t ruminate with her about not having a girlfriend. She wants you to move past that.

I hope she can help me find a way to help me be ok with my current situation.
The hardest part about not ruminating is how I see people in relationships wherever I go. I've actually come across people I knew in my childhood with long term partners or are married and have children. They'll ask me if I met anyone in college and all I can say is "No" everytime. Sometimes I'll get asked if I want children but I can't even get a coffee date so how I can visualize about having a family when things look so bleak? I actually used to visualize having a wife, two or three children, and playing in a band hoping "God's plan" would go that way but it never did. So much for putting my faith in God, huh? I no longer suffer from religious brainwashing.

There are some people on this forum like Luhluhluh who don't want me to have a girlfriend but rather to become a robot who forces himself to be happy. I don't want people like her celebrating.

I don’t think Luhluhluh really desires you NOT to have a girlfriend.

I think she cares about you....but more in a “human” way than in a “friend” way at this point. She feels the same way about most people here. This is the way most people feel about most other people.

She likes to debate with people on WP. She has her own ideas about relationships, based upon her own relationship with an Aspie. She feels she’s in a position to give advice; and she might be right.

I would try to stop attributing motives to other people that are not there. Doing this sort of thing makes it worse for you.

Concentrate on attaining your independence through becoming your own payee.

So how did it go? I'm assuming you've had your session already.

It was mainly catching up since we hadn't talked for a long time. She actually asked me if I wanted to work at my older brother's business but I told her I don't have any interest. It's a brewery which means I would be surrounded by rednecks and I would be in my older brother's shadow. My therapist did mention she'll help me with my stressors, though.

You might meet someone though if you worked there. Give it a chance. You never know! I'd understand not wanting to work in that kind of enviroment though. Would you be waiting tables or working in the back?