I’m surprised by the answer I got.

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I asked “Are we going to be BF/GF in the future?” Her answer was “I don’t know. It might happen it might not. I want to work on issues in my head first. Please be patient with me.”

So what do you make of this?

That means the answer is no.

I think it means what it says, give her a bit of time as she has issues to deal with. Theres no point in rushing and if you do like her then just enjoy the company for now.

Without knowing the person it's impossible to know what that actually means. The best thing I could recommend is to allow them that time and give them a good reason to want to be with you, pushing it generally only hurts your chances.

I would keep the girl as a friend while giving her some space but I wouldn't put my life & other possible romantic relationships on hold for her. If she comes around after a while & your still single then that's great. If she doesn't come around then you won't still be waiting for her to. If she does come around but your not single then that's on her for pushing you away.

Be patient and who knows. She just needs to work out her own problems, and when she's done and happier, who knows. Maybe not, maybe so. At least, she's honest.

It sounds like a odd way of saying "not likely".

Or perhaps "I'm involved with another guy, but it's not working out with him, so I don't know".

If she can't say more clearly what the situation is, you're heading for more hurt between the pair of you. Confusion is the hardest thing to sort out between Aspies and NT's. They just don't want to speak straight.

She's an Aspie as well.

Sounds like she has other stuff going on in her life, and she doesn't have time for a relationship at the moment. I'd say keep her as a friend, don't count on a relationship happening, but don't close the door completely either.

If you straight out ask most women if you are going to be BF/GF, that would probably turn most of them off right there (these things usually happen naturally, without it being pointed out). She might believe you are pressuring her to commit to a relationship, but considering that she is also an Aspie, it's really hard to tell...she may actually appreciate you "spelling out" what your intentions are with her.


Considering that her answer is "maybe", which sounds like an honest answer, probably means her interest level is around 50%. If her interest level was 100%, she would be dropping everything else she dealing with, and making a genuine effort to be with you, no matter what kind of issues she was dealing with.

She's probably being honest with you, then.

Don't push it.

In the immortal words of Sam Cooke, you've planted a seed in her heart, and it just needs time to grow.

Agreed.

Strange question. Women always prefer guys who are self confident and know what they want. Her answer is no surprise. Why not "I 'm totally into you! I wan't you to be my GF!" ? Say clear what you want. Give the direction. Don't ask her for that. You have to be a self-confident leader or the first guy who is a better one takes her. It's you who decides what you are going to do. Ape rules. She simply don't wants a wimp.

I'm not into the type of women you are talking about. Just let the "leader" take her if that is so important to her. I'd say that's part of a useful filter to avoid neurotypical women you cannot get along with anyway.

It means "move on." Don't wait around for her; find someone who actually wants a relationship. Clearly, she is unavailable. If she sees you moving on, and she cares, then she will reinitiate and tell you she's ready. If she doesn't care, then you know you've made the right call. This is for your own sanity.