Suicidal feelings yet again

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Go away you fools go away. You don't know what loneliness feels like.

My demons keep me company.
They are idiots, though.
When they make suggestions, I tell them to piss off, mostly.
They're not the boss of me.
They're not the boss of you either.

Are the suicidal impulses feelings, or thoughts? When these phases happen, are there distinctive thought patterns? Are there distinctive physical feelings? Are there specific trigger events, or trigger perceptions, or trigger thoughts, or trigger feelings?

I ask because the recycling of this suicidal impulse must be prompted by something, not necessarily just one thing; there's perhaps some pattern in the background which when activated leads you (either consciously or subconsciously) to this place and state.

These questions may be too hard to think about or answer in words right now. However you are an artist. Maybe you could draw and paint and create visual representations of this complex maze that leads you to these very painful suicidal feelings.

And whatever you do please do stay in touch with us here in The Haven while these cycles last. Please. We really value you.

Sorry, double post removed

Yeah, I've been feeling the same lately, too. Oy. It's like a black cloud hanging over me that never goes away. Shoo! Get lost. You bother me.

My seasons are all mixed up. I used to be happy in the spring, and sad in the fall. But since being on antidepressants all year round, those moods are not inevitable. This year I was depressed in the spring, and as fall approaches, I'm feeling happy!

Sorry you're in a trough right now, fifasy. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

I been having suicidal feelings too, on my birthday (my birthday was Saturday) I was VERY VERY DOWN, I didn’t want to live, I thought I was no good.

Happy belated birthday, Kitty.

If you have periodic suicidal feelings, it can be helpful to remind yourself that this mood is usually temporary. That usually works for me. I withdraw from effortful tasks, as much as possible, and try to get more rest.

Fifasy, let us hear from you, please? I am worried about you.

I wish I was more clever. How nice it must be to get what you want. You know... some people go out, they talk to a guy or a girl... and they actually get what they want. Because they're clever, they're smart. They know the right words to say, the right things to do. And some of you folks here are a lot more clever than me. Oh I wish I was clever, I really really do.

Oh I don't know, you seem rather clever to me.

That made me smile. I'll be okay.

I'll put some time into something. Write a book or study something.

Are there any crisis lines in your area if these feelings continue?

If so, give a crisis line a call or a text and try to make an effort to be as open as you can to whoever you come in contact with.

fifasy, if you're no longer in crisis, let this thread die out and post on a more cheerful sounding topic.

People do worry about you.