Late diagnosis

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I went to a doctor in my early twenties and got diagnosed as possibly Asperger’s.

Being a woman with my special interest being psychology, I use my intellect when dealing with people. I’ve read dozens of books on boundaries, personality typing, etc.

Also, I’m an adult child of a dysfunctional family.

I feel at home here like I belong, but I don’t know if feeling different and lacking social skills is from being an adult child of alcoholic.

I know females present differently and can pass as being “normal”

My little brother is also suspected of having Aspergers, but he’s also an adult child so I don’t know if it’s trauma related.

I’m intelligent and look normal so most people don’t believe me when I say I think I have autism, but I think I could be high functioning.

I only read non fiction books. I only socialize because it’s part of my recovery.

I relate to people in terms of philosophy rather than socially. I have a s**t ton of empathy and that’s how I navigate socially. Empathy is pretty rare now n days so people seem to really like me because of it.

I remember when I was 22 my peers thought I was from a foreign country because I was different-I also look exotic. I’ve been told I’m honest a lot.

I know no one here is a doctor, but how did you know for certain you are an Aspie!

Thank you for reading

I wasn't diagnosed until I was a couple months shy of 30.

Growing up, I did well academically. People just thought I was nerdy, eccentric, and shy.

Continued problems creating and maintaining friendships, and inexplicable difficulty with employment and frustration management in spite of my good academic credentials, made me seek out diagnosis. I'd heard of Aspergers by the time I was in my twenties, and wondered if I had it.

The problem I have with the autism diagnosis now is they've eliminated the specificity of Aspergers in favor of ranking autism by levels. It might simplify things in some ways, but Aspies have shown to have different brain activity patterns relative to both traditional autists as well as NTs. Plus we still have to contend with the autism stereotype being a male who is barely verbal. People don't know what to do with women like me who have English degrees and large vocabularies, able to present as semi-normal at baseline activities until complex social nuances and changes appear. Then we appear intense, frightening, or else slow and hard to understand.

http://autismgoggles.com/weblog/2015/09 ... aspergers/

I found this anecdotal list. That really helped me confirm my gut feeling.

In my recovery they keep telling me to socialize, not isolate, but I don’t have a choice! I can’t make other people like me. I have other priorities like finding a career. I don’t have extra time to socialize especially when it drains me and even triggers me- I’ve been f****d over too many times.

I guess looking at it through the lens of having Asperger's makes me focus more on managing my Aspergers, so I can a decent quality of life.

I’ve been going to alanon meetings which are really helpful for my social isolation

At 19, I am still young, but after finishing highschool there is always a thought that i wish i knew this earlier. While still not diagnosed, i have read everything i could regarding autism, took every test the internet would provide, and each day as i learn more it only makes me more certain. However, I am petrified of the process of getting the diagnosis. With being a high functioning, now adult, and as a woman, will they overlook the signs, will their expertise be enough to see through my seemingly normal coping mechanisms.

I hope I will get through this insecurity.

I was screened at age 52 years, and diagnosed at age 53 years. Over the last several months, I watched some news clips my mother had recorded involving me at ages 21 years through 40 years. I had them transferred to DVD format. For easier viewing.

Yikes! It was a cavalcade of visual autistic behaviors, characteristics and comorbids.

The early media broadcasts showed me rocking (never knew I did that), staring at the floor or ground, rattling off my memorized statements and a few "go-to" phrases, and that was it. Really, wow.

Thankfully, as the broadcasts moved on from year to year, I was a lot less "clinical." I guess I improved my masking skills more so in later years.

I got my diagnose this year, also in my early 20s!
My family started suspecting it a couple years ago and I recognized myself in most of the symptoms and eventually I sent a referral asking to get diagnosed. I got to meet with a psychologist a few months later who already after less than an hour told me it's very possible I have aspergers. A couple of months later I got the diagnosis high functioning autism (aspergers).

I also pass as neurotypical and when I told friends about my diagnose I also asked them if they ever guessed something was different about me but they said they could never tell and only thought I was shy. I don't really have any special interests in my opinion (although my psychologist seemed to consider my extended knowledge about my favorite bands as a special interest) but psychology is something that interest me a lot as well. I like to observe people and their behavior... I've even considered becoming a psychologist myself but i've taken a different path career-wise instead.

Before I thought I had aspergers I just thought I suffer from social anxiety (which I also do and got diagnosed with at the same time as I was diagnosed with aspergers) but when I read up on aspergers I recognized myself in having sensory issues such as sensitive hearing to the point of avoiding certain places because of the volume, sensitivity to light and also physical touch. I'm also terrible at anything that has to do with displaying emotion although I have a lot of empathy and many emotions inside I don't display them nor do I know the right way to do so which often makes me come off as cold or robotic. In school for many years everyone used to make fun of me for never displaying any emotion with my face and it also made some people think of me as rude so nowadays since I am bad at talking I make sure to always smile a lot to show that I am not in a bad mood and that i'm not being quiet because I don't want to talk to the person i'm with. In general I have horrible social skills and I have no idea how to flirt or what it means to do that lol so who knows how i've even ended up in relationships at all. I also hate change both in my life and in the people I know like my friends. When I graduated I felt like my life stopped moving forward because my old routine was broken and I no longer had a schedule to follow so I was left not knowing what to do and therefore not doing anything at all and just sleeping a lot instead. I'm still learning how to live with this diagnose but this is some of my story hope it helps.

mother got idea about me when i was a toddler. couldnt get me a diagnosis, though she'd try - health care here is still lacking on that part. so well, she did teach me to fake NT behavior. not that it helped a lot, being enlisted in medical training at the age of 16, i'd instantly be "caught" as an aspergerian multiple times. by the age of 20 i'd be pretty well hidden, both by continious efforts of my mother and many tips received in my training. yes, it is the best thing to be done to an autist in this country. i somewhat got off lucky. so, i was looking pretty "normal" and everybody, inculding myself, decided to forget i had issues. my NT mask would grow so close to my face i'd really forgot. for 10 years. untill it all went down the thunder on me. no matter how well trained. its a lie. pretend autistic traits are just character, emotional stature, quirks. it wont change anything. i am coming out now, and it makes my life so much better. i get to understand myself, at the age of 30, and that gives me a new level of control over myself. diagnosis, no diagnosis. doesnt matter. i dont need an official diagnosis (i cant even receive, because there is no such thing as adult autist in this country. they barely are starting to deal with kids). i only need to just allow myself to be me. at least away from stranger's eyes. my family are getting used to talk to me without an eye contact. allowing me to relax. gauging my mood by the movement of a freshly jury-rigged stimtoy in my hands. i explain how. and there is a palpable relief in the air. i am sorry if i repeat myself here, or get off track - i am being distracted a bit too often xD
but, well. i dont have AS. it has me. and i am an aspergerian, and i dont need an official document to know it. to have known it. just hiding. no more.