Autism without disability

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I haven't been here in a while, but this is something that's confused me for some time and I was hoping that some members here could shed some light on the subject. Many of the people my age who are diagnosed later in life (in their twenties, for example) do not consider themselves impaired by their disorder, and indeed they are remarkably high functioning. It's quite the norm (in my experience) to meet autistic people online who have maintained good friendships and relationships throughout their lives and are thriving in college and their careers without any accommodations or support. I've felt somewhat judgmental towards this demographic because they don't appear to me to fit or require the diagnosis, but I expect it's more likely that I've simply misunderstood their situation. Currently, my understanding of autism is that a diagnosis requires one to be impaired in several specific areas of neurological function. If that understanding is flawed, as I suspect, could someone explain to me the basis of an autism diagnosis? Or, otherwise, show me where I've misinterpreted these examples.

I have an unofficial autism diagnoses that my wife would use to explain what people would see in our home. For instance, I built hundreds of beautifully crafted models, something that routinely shocked visitors. A diagnoses can be useful for explaining things to other people, though this isn't always the case with autism. Some people's variant of autism is so different from the commonly known examples that it just confuses things. But, if you are as smart as Sheldon on Big Bang Theory, most people can equate autism to whatever that Sheldon guy has.

The autism spectrum is so broad that you can be right at the edge of it without even realizing it. Not everybody is way in the middle of the spectrum.

There is a controversial school of thought that what is described as impairments caused by autism are not impairments at all but are the result of the disadvantages of discrimination and misunderstandings being inherent in being a small minority that is different. The rest of this post is going to go on the assumption that these are actual autism caused impairments. I am far from fully on board with the previous sentence but the people who drew up the diagnostic criteria were.

To be diagnosed with autism or any other condition in the manuals you are supposed to be impaired to a significant degree.

It is impossible to know if a person is impaired by reading online posts

It is impossible to know if a person was actually diagnosed by reading online posts.

Plenty of people who think they are not impaired actually are.

A person might have been legitimately impaired when diagnosed but they are not now. This might be because as people mentioned above they learned how to cope/mask their autism or they could have been misdiagnosed. There is a school of thought believed by a lot of people that there has been massive overdiagnosis of Autism for a variety of reasons. I find that widespread belief more harmful than helpful because it casts a cloud of suspicion on everybody who claims they are autistic and indeed if autism is an actual real condition.

I have only recently, at age 29, begun discussing autism with my therapist and don't have an official diagnosis (though he agrees that a good case could be made for it), so take this with a grain of salt.
If I am on the spectrum, it's certainly at the mild end of it. I would probably be one of the people you're describing. I am able to function in most social situations and don't require any special accommodations at work. However, there are other factors.
- I work in IT, so there are only a small handful of people that I work with regularly. When I have to go beyond this circle, I struggle. I can usually manage, but it requires a fair amount of personal prep.
- I might appear to be unimpaired in social situations, but I never feel unimpaired. Every interaction is draining, and I can only handle short periods of interaction before needing to be alone to recharge.
- There's a good chance I'm working off of an internal script. If I know I'm going to speak with someone, my brain runs through as many different iterations of how the conversation can go as possible. I'm not particularly good at predicting how people will react (especially if the topic of conversation is serious), so I try to map out the possibilities. If the conversation goes off-script, I start to struggle.
- Even though I'm generally functional, I've always felt like I was a couple of pages behind everyone else, socially speaking. I think this levels out a bit in adulthood, so someone who's my age (29) but has a "social age" (if that's even a thing) of 25 may appear to be unimpaired, but a 17-year-old with the social skills of a 13-year-old would be more noticeable.
- I have a higher-than-average intelligence, which may help with coping/masking skills.

There are also the non-social aspects to consider, like sensory issues, repetitive behaviors, obsessive behaviors, etc. A lot of that may not be visible (especially online), but it can't be disregarded.
Hope this helps a bit.

I'd be in that borderline autistic zone.

I can see where the OP is coming from - sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be claiming to be autistic because, for example, I'm able to maintain a full-time job. On the surface I probably don't seem to be significantly impaired.

But it feels like I'm impaired. Every day I'm having to compensate or work around my autism, and it's hard work. It's certainly affected and continues to affect my life.

It doesn't seem fair to say that one cannot be autistic on the basis of levels of impairment, since our brains are still wired up differently to NTs. Instead, I put myself in the Autism Level 0 category - I'm autistic but usually able to get by without assistance. In other words, I claim autism more as explanation of the way I think/behave, and less as a means to get assistance.

The important thing, I think, is that people like me make no claim to fully understand, or speak on behalf of, those who are more severely impaired. It is incumbent on us to shut up and listen, essentially. But I'd like to think there is value in having us around, potentially in the role of mediators between the more severely autistic and society in general.

The definition of an impairment is any loss or abnormality of structure or function. So, even small differences from the norm can be classified as "impairments." It really depends on what the psychologist who diagnosed you thinks. Some people truly are on the edge between autistic and neurotypical. Really, labels are kind of meaningless, and this is one of the many failings of the psychological field.

Impairment is not the same as impossibility.

For instance, if someone is clearly impaired, and has lost both legs, mobility is impaired. But, getting up a set of stairs for instance still isn't impossible. I have seen someone who cannot walk pull herself up the stairs with her hands. It can be done, but the impairment comes because of the difficulty.

Many who seem to be doing well in all areas of life are working harder at it than we see.

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder both had the serious impairment of being blind. But both became world famous and successful.

But their common impairment of blindness was an obvious handicap manifest to all around them.

IF for some odd reason no one in Stevie Wonders life knew he was blind, and expected him to do stuff sited folks can do (like read without braille and drive a car) he was have failed right and left and folks would have thought that he had a failure of character that stopped him from being able to read and drive a car. They would have verbally, and maybe physically, have beaten his ass for being lazy.

Substitute blindness with autism and you get the answer to your question.

The very act of diagnosis identifies a huge problem in an autistics life. So even without special support an aspie might go farther in life just having folks around him and himself know that he is an aspie.

I suppose it could be loosely compared to impaired vision. Some only need very mild prescription eyeglasses to see 20/20 and others have to have an exceedingly strong prescriptions to the point that they're legally blind.

I used to think along the lines that I have genuine autism. Whereas aspies only have a mild form of autism. But my thinking is less rigid these days.

Autism is a spectrum and I would say for myself that I'm quite impaired because I can't seem to hold down a job for very long. When a person can't provide for themselves then that indicates strong disability in my opinion. If there were a job that involved me working in a warehouse on a forklift with absolutely no other people around then I would have no problem but as soon as an interpersonal relationship is required then I will fail miserably.

And someone who hurts himself and has meltdowns on a regular basis should be considered impaired and disabled like I am.

Perhaps these high functioning individuals you saw aren't being completely honest with you about the downs of being Autistic and are simply using a strategy noted by the great Tony Attwood called "arrogance and denial?"

Some people really know how to create a rosy picture without including all of the facts. Negative or otherwise.

I used arrogance and denial as a strategy to avoid admitting to myself that I'm Autistic for more than 40 years and much to my detriment and I paid a very high price for that strategy. It's not something I would recommend for anyone.

_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away.

I should preface my response by stating that I don't have an official diagnosis, but I suspect there's a much better than average chance that I'm somewhere on the spectrum. In my case, I've held down a steady engineering job for almost 15 years, graduated from a leading university with highest honors, etc., but over the last few years things are becoming more and more difficult for me to manage. Everyday situations lead to significant stress, any disruption to daily routines cause me to lose all focus on where I am, my communication skills (which I've never been comfortable doing at all but always seemed to manage well enough) have been deteriorating by the day. On the surface, people would tell you that I'm a shy, introverted, but successful individual, but I'm left to wonder if the constant stress of trying to appear to be "just" a shy, introverted, but successful individual instead of a "weirdo with strange interests, abnormal social skills, no desire to be social, etc" isn't finally catching up with me. My career is in a downward spiral over the last few years and I fully suspect I'll be out of a job within the next 6 months or so. In my case, the disability (whatever the "root cause") has likely been there all along, but is only reappearing in my mid-30s after a 20+ year absence due to long term stress of trying to appear normal.

While a child, I was at times very impaired, sometimes to the point of paralysis. At various times I decided to not allow these things to happen anymore. After being held prisoner by a bully when I was 6, I decided that I would not let that happen again and forced myself to fight. In later years I was always the last to be picked for a team, no matter the sport. I changed schools in 6th grade and decided that would change and in my new school I became coordinated and was one of the first to be picked. In high school I was paralyzed with anxiety when I had to enter a classroom when anyone else was in it (or even if it was empty). I forced myself to wait until it was full to enter.
I think many of what are considered as symptoms of AS are actually our responses to the huge difficulty of dealing with others and finding our way in the social maelstrom. It took me many years to be able to hold a job for more than a few months at most. I spent most of the 1970s just wandering, sleeping in bushes, under bridges, wherever I could find. Gradually, I built up a database of what I needed to live. I survived the "help" that I received; team building, group therapy, etc. I was able to teach myself enough that I made a successful marriage of 34 years and a "career" that I actually stuck with for 12 years. I still struggle daily, but no one around me sees it.
Our culture is the biggest impairment that we have. They make no room for our differences. I have often ended up in Native American communities. There my silences and weirdness were just accepted and no one even thought about it. I live on a reservation now and have for the last 25 years. I do not feel judged here. No one here even pays any attention. They don't even see the differences. If a non-Indian points out my "weirdness", they will just shrug. In fact, here I am no longer weird at all.
I am 65 now and no longer "disabled", because I fought against the social demands that disabled me, built up my "arsenal" and then found a place where the people around me don't even see it.

A lot of people tell me that I mustn't be autistic because I don't frequently exhibit autistic behaviors, characteristics and comorbids. "Well," I tell them, "you haven't seen my public meltdowns and shutdowns, or what it takes for me to do the things I need to do in life but, fear the criticisms and self-doubts."

Wanna see my meltdown mode? Ask me to balance my "simple" financial accounts. It takes me hours to complete my two balance sheets (two because I learned that one confirms the other). All the while, I break down, cry and hate myself for how stupid I am while my mother was an accountant. That happens a few times a month.

But, on the other hand, my memorization skills make me a genius in law and politics. I was an adviser to government and large business offices including the U.S. Office of the Attorney for the District of Utah (1997-2001). That realm is where I am most comfortable.

My autism is hardly mild in that it allows me to do all sorts of things normal people can't do. I can easily drop in an out of a "flow" state that allows me to be enormously productive.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

Though if you interrupt me when I'm in a flow state I can do an excellent impersonation of Sheldon in BBT saying something totally accurate and totally inappropriate.