Feeling like a child trapped in an adult’s body

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How many of us on the spectrum feel emotionally and socially significantly younger than our actual age. This is a new phenomenon I have only recently heard of, but how many of us actually feels that it adequately describes us?

Lots of things I've read say the average mental age for someone on the spectrum is a 3rd less than their physical age. It's just an average so some mature faster mentally & others mature more slowly but it's very common for those of us on the spectrum to be/feel immature compared to our peers. I'm defiantly immature but I have disabilities besides autism that really limit me with life & I missed out on milestones in life because of them.

It was the opposite for me when I was younger, at least when it came to feeling immature. I thought I was leaps and bounds more mature than my peers, although that was probably just a mentality I developed to explain my inability to interact with them. Looking back, I was a really immature kid, and not in the conventional fourteen-year-old-with-life-figured-out way. I think I was okay emotionally and intellectually, but my interests and social skills were too young by far.

These days, I don't feel older or younger than my peers; I just feel different. I don't care about the same things, and I don't understand why they interact the way they do. I don't think that feeling is rooted in immaturity, unless I still lack the self-awareness to realize the fact.

It seems that just last night, I was only 21. I woke up this morning, and 40 years have passed -- now I'm 61!

And what happened to that handsome young fellow who used to greet me in the mirror every morning, and who is that wrinkly, hairless old troll who replaced him?

NNNOOOOOOooooooo ... it can't be me!

This link list the stages of childhood development by age. CHILD DEVELOPMENT BY AGE

I identify myself as age 4, the "Pleasing Four" stage of childhood development. This is despite the fact that I am 70 years old. I don't perceive there is anything wrong with that. It only means that I must put on my ADULT mask when I am out and about in public.

I most definitely do feel that way. I guess a lot of people will say they act like a big kid a lot of the time, but that most likely implies being mischievous, not being serious and having fun. For me it's as if I've got separated from my parents at the age of about 7 and I've been left to fend for myself, I feel afraid and overwhelmed. It doesn't seem right that I get official letters from government departments asking me to fill stuff in or face a fine or that an adult neighbour would want to try and engage me in a conversation about the state of the world. I just want to be left alone to play my computer game.

IMO: Every single post in this string would rightly be evaluated as having been written by an intelligent, articulate, interesting, analytical and self-aware person. The fact that some of us don't always choose to limit ourselves to countless ridiculous cultural conventions, and are thus perceived as different for our age or even demented, weird, detached, dim, (oh I could go on for days,) are just more prejudices we must face as courageous, thoughtful, creative individualists.

I just think our thought processes are so complex that it is difficult for us to respond quickly in social situations because we need to think things through and word our responses carefully. So instead of the brilliant stuff that is going on in our heads our mouths spew out something of a mash. Eventually we decide to pass on the gross effort of socializing at all. But we are there for the ones we love, and we want to do good, right?

This is one of the friendliest forums I've ever visited. The fact that many posts have hundreds of reads and only single digit responses could well be interpreted as agreement, honest disinterest, disagreement mercifully omitted, or too many possible responses for the poster to list.

Never felt it. I do feel most OTHER people have the social, emotional and intellectual capacity of children, though, and probably more so NTs than NDs.

I'm 23 and I feel about 12. However, when I was 12 I was about 8. People failed to recognise this and just assumed I was dumb, which I guess for my age I definitely was and it is reflected in my academic achievements or lack of.

I still feel too mentally immature for a lot of things in life, most of these things the average 23 year old wouldn't even think twice about.

I am well behind what I should be at my age. I have done quite a bit, but many adult milestones remain unreached. It will take my until I'm 60, if I work hard, to catch up.

I feel that I went from being a little girl to a middle-aged woman without growing up in between. I know that isn't exactly true because I have a university education, am employed (just part time, but I have been in my current job for 16 years) and function fairly well now. However, it took me a long time to get to where I am now.

I would like to experience success in the relationship area of my life. I don't want to be alone in my old age. I saw virtually everyone I know die alone at various ages. All of them were likely NTs. I don't want it to happen to me.

Like someone else posted above, as a child I felt incredibly mature and grown-up, viewing my peers as inferior (in terms of interests, intelligence and behaviours, mostly). Obviously that didn't get me a lot of friends my own age, but I felt content to be friends with adults as I found them more "on my level".

Now that I'm 20, I've gone the other way in development and now do feel like a child compared to my peers. I still consider myself more intelligent (I went to a low-level university, five grades below my average, just because I liked the town and teachers), but now my lack of social skills is more and more evident as social situations become more complex and nuanced. Couple that with anxiety and you'll understand why even my friends treat me like a child, which annoys me.

I think there is something to do with the meanings of "mature" changing as you are a different age. A mature kid, in my case, was someone well beyond their 'reading age', who didn't cry when told off, and who regularly beat his parents at chess. A mature adult, while I think it involves a specific kind of wisdom and sympathy, I have yet to truly learn what that means.

I do. I don't think i've ever felt like an adult. When i'm at a workplace I feel like a child who's in the way of the adults, I think that's part of why it's difficult for me to speak to co-workers. I think that everyone sees me the same way but of course they don't.
I also can't relate to anyone my age, I feel so far behind them and it feels like they're much older than I am.
I think that's why I only get along with other aspies. With NTs I can pretend that I understand them and it works but they eventually see through it and think i'm boring or childish - with few exceptions who don't mind.

I'm smart and my psychologist could confirm that when I got my diagnose but I feel emotionally years behind everyone else.

I don't feel younger than I am if you look upon it from a social and emotional perspective. I have become quite balanced , confident and self-secure. I have also improved my social skills remarkably since I was in the begining of my adulthood. But, I guess it sometimes depends on what you have experienced in life on the other hand.

I feel like an extremely able 12 year old, despite being my my 40's now. Although I've had a range of jobs my current work - teaching 6 and 7 year olds - is a really good fit. I'm able to use my natural way of being to connect well with the children in class (it's so much easier than with adults). Because I am open about my autism at work (amongst the staff) staff also use me as a resource at times when thinking about autism and when working with autistic children in their classes. Personally I think being overly 'adult' is over-rated!

I accept and embrace the fact that I am perpetually a preteen. I have about a gajillion guilty pleasures because I still like books, shows, movies etc that are aimed for middle school age.
More than that though I’m still really...dependent on others I guess. Like my parents still do everything for me despite me being a legal adult and I still feel lost and shy whenever I’m forced to do anything by myself. Even if it’s as simple as going to the store or getting a haircut.
That and I think I kinda act like a child too. When I need to be I can be mature and professional, but most of the time I probably act like an eight year old ㅋㅋㅋ (I think my friends have picked up on that. They tend to kinda treat me like one too)