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Fnord
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08 Oct 2018, 4:49 pm

The On-Line Dictionary defines "Nice" as...

1. pleasing; agreeable; delightful: "a nice visit".

2. amiably pleasant; kind: "They are always nice to strangers".

... plus about a dozen more.

But what about you?

Are people being nice when they agree with you, even when you are wrong?

Are people being nice when they ignore your behavior, even when it is rude and offensive?

Are people being nice when they tell you that you're doing just fine, even though you constantly screw up?

Are people being nice when they don't try to intervene, even when you are engaged in self-destructive behavior?

I'm askin' ... :scratch: :shrug:



TW1ZTY
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08 Oct 2018, 5:22 pm

I define being nice as showing compassion towards another person and wanting to help them or wanting to do something kind for them.

Like buying somebody a present for their birthday or for Christmas.

Or visiting somebody who is sick or injured while they are staying in the hospital.

Or inviting somebody over to your house to eat dinner.

Or offering to wash the dishes because they are too busy with cleaning the kitchen.

Or taking your child out for icecream because they made all A's on their report card.


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Lost_dragon
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08 Oct 2018, 5:35 pm

Fnord wrote:
Are people being nice when they agree with you, even when you are wrong?


Depends, do they secretly disagree with you / know you are wrong, but don't want to say anything because they don't want conflict? If so, I'd call that being non-confrontational and overly-cautious. Or perhaps they agree because they themselves are unaware that you are wrong? It could be to be nice, but if someone agrees with you for the mere sake of it then I have to wonder why...are they afraid of your reaction? Do they just dislike conflict and don't want to risk causing an argument? Maybe they just weren't in the mood to have a conversation, and agreeing with you was just the easiest way to wrap it up. There's so many possibilities, it's hard to tell without proper context.


Fnord wrote:
Are people being nice when they ignore your behaviour, even when it is rude and offensive?


When people have known you for a while, they tend to notice patterns in your behaviour. In this case, individuals may cut you some slack if you are going through a rough patch or have behavioural issues or something. Otherwise, this could be a sign that the people you hang out with are too easy on others, sometimes you have to be firm to be loving (but not too much, within reason). It's a balance. Some more context would be appreciated.


Fnord wrote:
Are people being nice when they tell you that you're doing just fine, even though you constantly screw up?Are people being nice when they don't try to intervene, even when you are engaged in self-destructive behavior?


If it's damaging to your own life and/or the lives of others....no. Encouraging self-destructive behaviour is rarely a positive thing. Although it’s easier to stand by and do nothing whilst living in denial that there’s a problem, it is not kind to the person in question in the long run. It depends on what kind of screw ups we are talking here, are we talking “I keep having manic episodes because I refuse to take medication” or “Sometimes I forget to buy custard at the supermarket”? What level of screw up?


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TW1ZTY
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08 Oct 2018, 5:39 pm

I think there is a difference between "love" and "nice". Sometimes when you really love somebody you can't be nice to them and you have to be firm with them to protect them or help them even if they hate you for it.

I feel like any real parent should be able to understand that.


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Fnord
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08 Oct 2018, 6:26 pm

Sorry about the lack of context, folks. Some people might take personal offense at an example that has nothing to do with them. Perhaps you all could provide some examples of your own ... ?


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TW1ZTY
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08 Oct 2018, 6:43 pm

Fnord wrote:
Sorry about the lack of context, folks. Some people might take personal offense at an example that has nothing to do with them. Perhaps you all could provide some examples of your own ... ?

I don't understand what you mean by that? I thought you were asking how each of us would define the word "Nice"?


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Fnord
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08 Oct 2018, 6:46 pm

TW1ZTY wrote:
... I thought you were asking how each of us would define the word "Nice"?
I am, and now I'm also asking for examples to clarify your definitions.



Trogluddite
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08 Oct 2018, 6:48 pm

As Lost_dragon pointed out, it all depends on the pragmatics. I mostly hear it as one of...
- A generally inoffensive fallback when disinterest or being tongue-tied leaves someone without a more descriptive adjective to use.
- Not unpleasant, but not particularly remarkable or interesting, either.
- Damning by faint praise.

It originally meant nothing "nice" at all; unscrupulous, stupid, foolish, weak, clumsy, etc.
It's a word with a bizarre history of shifting meanings..


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TW1ZTY
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08 Oct 2018, 7:05 pm

Fnord wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
... I thought you were asking how each of us would define the word "Nice"?
I am, and now I'm also asking for examples to clarify your definitions.


Oh Ok, well I already listed a bunch of examples in a previous post. :)


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naturalplastic
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08 Oct 2018, 7:44 pm

The opposite of "naughty".



EzraS
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08 Oct 2018, 9:43 pm

I think a person can be defied as nice based on their reputation which is based on their overall demeanor. Same goes for someone having the reputation of being an as*hole.


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TW1ZTY
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08 Oct 2018, 9:48 pm

EzraS wrote:
I think a person can be defied as nice based on their reputation which is based on their overall demeanor. Same goes for someone having the reputation of being an as*hole.

I don't. A sinner can surprise you and so can a saint.

Sometimes people who seem like jerks can reveal that they have a softer side to them and sometimes a person who is well-loved and viewed as a good person by everyone can have moments where they show absolute cruelty.


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08 Oct 2018, 9:51 pm

I really avoid even considering the inversion of this word anymore - IMHO it's a cancerous development.

I look upon it as thoughtfulness, long-sightedness, curiosity about what's valuable in broader senses, and those sorts of concerns have a smoothing effect on how people treat one another. In that sense as well though I think 'nice' is best served as a side-effect of good internal/psychological decisions and strategies rather than a goal in and of itself, especially when the veneer alone risks putting people out of touch with themselves, fostering resentment, etc. where on the contrary people who have it as a side effect of what they're doing it right can drop it at a moments notice and be as assertive as they're called upon to be if and as needed.


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aghogday
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08 Oct 2018, 10:02 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSQk-4fddDI

Per what is Naughty or Nice;
The Golden Rule Needs Revision Per Matthew 7:12, too:

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you,
do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

In other Words, Depending on how Open Minded/Bodied a Person
is; one Person's Perception of what I perceive as Nice may be Naughty; and another
Person's Perception of what I Perceive as Naughty may be Nice to Another Person. This is Also
In Accordance with Jonathan Haidt's 'Moral Imperatives of Liberals and Conservatives' too; and in other
Words, according to the Movie, 'Guardian's of the Galaxy', some Folks Dance and Some Folks Do not; some
Folks are Open to New Experience and others, back to the evidence Linked Below and Social Scientist Jonathan Haidt's
Research; some folks see Nice Beauty in the Whole 'Photo' of Michelangelo's David; and other Folks are Disgusted over
the Detail of the Much Smaller Perceived Naughty Part in between; and this is Rather Predictable Depending on if they are open minded/bodied or not, at least, according to the Research done by Social Scientist Jonathan Haidt as linked below.

So, in still other Words Like Most things in life, what is Perceived as Nice or Naughty has a distinct and evidential
Origin in Human Biological Innate and Environmental Bred Differences. I don't get that Butt Hurt over Closed minded/
bodied Folks for I understand I am Different; and they are more likely not to like Progressive Change. Some Folks Feel
And Sense staying in the Cave with the Same Art is Nice; and other Folks Like me say Yuck Yuck Yuck that Yucks
And Move out of the Cave in a Nice way for me where my Home Within always Changes as well as Art i Create too.

People with Advanced Levels of Cognitive Empathy who understand Folks are Innately and Environmentally Bred
Different Like this Adjust to the Audience at Hand and Make Changes necessary For Peace and Joy more and
this is what is so important about White Lies in the Sense and Feel of Acting Life Different to get along with
Folks who see Naughty as Nice or Nice as Naughty, depending on the Moral Relativistic Views at hand.

Wow, this is really complicated and even more so than a Math Equation with Black and White Answers.

Nice and Naughty as that applies to overall Human Nature both Born and Bred is a Colorful and very Complex
Artful Masterpiece of Existence with Never Really Any Black and White Answers. unless one is rather Disadvantaged
in seeing More of the Colors in all the Differences within the Universe of Human Emotions and Senses now; So, True
Rather Short Aphorisms like “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets" is rather Convenient for those who are rather More Literal in Black and White think; but in the 'Real World';
the Much Bigger World of Multi-Colored and Flavored Human Being; what's Perceived as Naughty or Nice is
Just not Black and White and takes a whole lot of Art in Social Empathic Cognition to Figure out.
In Fact, a Life Long Art for those who even care enough to Figure out what someone really
Feels and Senses in Life that is Naughty and or Nice; true; there is no one answer in Human.

But it's true, too, if 'the Grinch' Can Change other Humans can and will Figure this Stuff out too.
Some folks cannot understand how Poor Folks without Presents are so much Happier than folks with Gifts;
True, some folks cannot see deeper than 'stuff' and that includes Idols of Words too as far as what's Naughty or
Nice in Life now too. It takes more practice for some folks than others in actually feeling what's Naughty or Nice;
Stepping out a little from 'Your Matrix' and seeing a 'Green Pill' more than Just a Red or Blue Pill of Naughty or Nice now.

My Green Pill is Extra Tasty and Flavorful for I Love it all.
That's Rather Odd; but in Agape Love Now at the Highest
Capstone Levels of Maslow's Pyramid; That really Happens too;
Ascendent and Transcendent in an Autotelic State of Being with
Plenty of Transient Hypo-Frontality and Nirvana to Go along with all of that Alpha to Theta Mind Wave
Experience of Much Greater Human Potential coming Fear Free with Laser Focus even more; but true
some so-called Fundamentalist Christians I know see all of that as Naughty and Lord, even so-called Satanic too;
but true, considering that there is No 'Real Devil' in the Christian Bible or even any Real Hell other than a Garbage
Dump of Gehenna out of the City Limits in that Book of Stories too; true, Perhaps I do seem like a Literal Adversary
to them too; for I challenge their Home of Cave Art they refuse to move out of from Carrots for A God who Brings
Welfare Heaven after Death; with 'Eternal Torture' that no one who truly believes in 'turn the other Cheek'
and 'Love Your Adversary Enemy'; yes, Literally Satan and the Devil as Metaphor for Enemy as Adversary
too; and Lord knows when it comes to Narcissists like that Old Testament God Before a Living Lamb
of Love and coming again as Fearless Lion as all Super Heroes do in Archetype way, once
they get over their 'Daddy God' Issues and become their own Father within; Yes, Father
and Son one as the Nature of God as Existence all with some Holy Creative Spirit
in 'Autotelic' ways in 'Transient Hypo-Frontality' as Escape from Neo-Cortex
Mind in Illusion of Past and Future Clock Time of Worry Mind Stuck
in Beta Wave Mind Overall Distress away from the Animal Homeostasis
as Alpha Wave Mind Travels to Theta Wave Mind more as any Cat at Rest
will do in Cat Naps Wide Awake too in Existence Ocean Whole With GodALL never
Separated ALL Warm and Fuzzy in Life is Good. Anyway; that's really Nice to me; took
a Long Days Now Spent in Neo-Cortical Word Think Worry Mind in Beta Mind Wave Ways to Surf my
way to Ocean God Whole Within now; but Jesus F in Christ it's worth it no matter how Naughty my opinion may seem to
others; but you see that is neither her nor there as Heaven is always now and real for any Camel who escapes through
A Pin Hole of a Statue
of David
that
and who
is real now.
Open Minded and Bodied
Folks; Truly Open Minded and
Bodied Folks dismiss no Different Opinion
as they understand totally that Dark comes From
Light and it makes total feel and sense Good Intelligence to put that in Action to Evolve
one Soul that is ours in accordance with this one Life to Live that is Forevernow Real best
Spent Nice as
And in Incarnate
Love that and who is A Most
Real Nice Now; at least to me.
Yes, I have Deep Opinions now on what's Naughty or
Nice as I see all the Value of Heaven and Hell too that is Real within, too.
In other Words;
it's
all
Good/Nice in my
Capstone Hood, at least.
Anyway; thanks for the Rather Simple
Question that was and still is mostly open ended
as that does bring the deepest responses when totally free
and uncensored with even
more
than
a Million
Dreams so
Nice Colorful
and Flavorful as Real Life NoW iN HeaVeN.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs41JrnGaxc


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EzraS
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08 Oct 2018, 10:28 pm

TW1ZTY wrote:
EzraS wrote:
I think a person can be defied as nice based on their reputation which is based on their overall demeanor. Same goes for someone having the reputation of being an as*hole.

I don't. A sinner can surprise you and so can a saint.

Sometimes people who seem like jerks can reveal that they have a softer side to them and sometimes a person who is well-loved and viewed as a good person by everyone can have moments where they show absolute cruelty.


That's why I said their overall demeanor. No one is 100% nice or 100% jerk. But I think what a person displays the most, is what they are for the most part. Or at least how they are viewed by most for the most part.


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