Never time.. Isolated

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I've once again found myself in an existential crisis. Or perhaps I'm just now realizing I never left it.

I never have time. I go to uni and/or work every day of the week. My free time is spent doing homework or catching up on sleep. I'm bordering on failing my classes even though I understand the material because I have difficulty getting all of my work done while also paying the bills -- failing will lead me to owing thousands to the government to pay back financial aid. I don't have any close friends -- I recently moved 8 hours away from my home town -- nor do I have time to make them. This cycle is really wearing on me and the all-too-familiar crippling depression is taking over. How do you get everything done when you have difficulty finding the energy to do it? What's the point in trying to improve your life if everything implodes on you? How do you keep moving forward without a release? And, supposing you actually start to get ahead, why does any of it matter if you don't have time to enjoy the rewards or friends to share them with?

I don't know if any of you have the answers, but, as seems like the reoccurring standard, I don't have anyone to share my life with and I feel like howling at the moon until my lungs are hoarse. So hi, nice to meet you frands, I'm a f*cking mess.

first things first - fatigue. messes with u. plus thin nerve.
second - what do we do? omit something non-vital. give urself a slack. i just wont wash those dishes right now, i will sit back with my favorite stimtoy and watch a film i wanted for a month. studies go better with a fresh mind. give urself breaks. get a middle range mark or few, on subjects that are not vital. just.allow.urself that little commodity. u do sound like A (10/10, w'e) or nothing. that goes for vital subjects, the rest can be slacked to a passgrade. indulge urself. and i mean, in a way u want to, not in a way u think u are allowed. allow urself))) cant skive work much, ok. find a city park, go there with a book. can even be a textbook, but just do it in a park on a nice day. u feel better. buy urself something u want, even if its something cheap. there are a lot of cheap commodities we forget about, and we can afford them. for real. u are ur own slavedriver (and arent we all), so well, sorry if i repeat it, but thats what is important - give urself a slack. then, what i wrote a lot, u dont have to nesessery socialize irl. internet is a thing.
hope this is useful. go try)

Хаюшки и спасибо :>

I know you're probably right.. I've gotta find ways to release but it's not so easy. I used to have a lot of people in my life through music performance but since I moved I have not had time for music. I made friends through music because people we're interested in that so my bad social skills were not a huge factor. It is difficult to make friends through school or work for me. And internet works a bit but I really am needing people to do things with so I leave my house. Constant isolation combines with constant work and my brain is fatigued.

WELL i personally do things with people, in cyberspace. i understand my solutions dont fit for everybody. i'd rather stay at home each time i can chose xD i know some people just.need.to be among people physically. but well, getting to know somebody on the internet, there is a fair chance for them to become an irl contact after some while) thats how i got married in the first place. this time of ur life is hard, but it is bound to get better) hold on)

This is my life, I wish I knew the answers.

Work used to be cool, but now that it's 50-60 hours a week, I'm just constantly drowning. I don't need to work, but I can't bring myself to just quit.

But they've really been trying us all lately.

Me too man, me too. The struggle is real *hugs*

How do you technically not have to work? :O

On the sort of plus side, I just got given a minor promotion a few minutes ago! Still same pay and more hours but it's a manager training type position that will open up the possibility of an improved spot in the company. Considering I just transferred to this branch two weeks ago, I'm prettty excited!! Except I can kiss any dreams of a personal life goodbye merp

Well, I mean I don't have to worry about losing financial aid or anything like that. I could quit my job and work somewhere else. Heck, I have enough money saved up, I could quit and just not work at all for a while.

A lot of people live check-to-check, they have to work, or they'll lose electricity/house/etc. They have kids to feed/child support to pay, cigarettes to buy, phone bills to pay...I'm really more of a miser

In my opinion, work should be its own reward, but even so, you can always get up an hour earlier or go to bed an hour later if time is an issue. I'm working on this myself.

It doesn't work out, for me. When I work a ten-hour day, my body thinks it needs ten hours of sleep...if I obeyed it, that would mean that (on a good traffic day) I get home at 6PM, I get all cleaned up, put my stuff away, and think about relaxing in bed for an hour (with no dinner or shower) so I can fall asleep before 7:30PM.

With snow and/or bad traffic, I'm looking at about 30-45 minutes extra driving time per day.

In reality, I end up staying up late, trying to get something productive done (and pushing my chores further down the priority list), and struggling to get out of bed and to work on time

I'm the same, but with long, persistent discipline, I think I can improve.