Alone time

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Hi all,

I'm new so please go easy. I'm waiting for an assessment for Asperger's as it has come to my attention that I'm not typical. I was wondering how much alone time is necessary for you all. I seem to need about 90% waking hour time alone, or at least non-verbal/non-listening. I assumed this is high even for people on the ASD spectrum. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks

I need a lot of alone time, too. I used to see this as a problem, until I figured out I actually prefer to be alone most of the time. I work from home. My husband works away from home, so all day I am more or less by myself. I do have to make visits to see clients, but these are largely scheduled by me, so I can try to not have it be too much for any given day. I just spent 12 days totally alone in a Canadian wilderness area and it was wonderful. I say, enjoy your time alone. It is precious.

Currently, I'm averaging 23 hours a day to feel stable, except with one good friend. That guy can chop wood without waking me up.

Welcome to the forum.

90% wouldn't be at all unusual for me, except for times when I have had a job or was at school etc. I can go quite a few days without seeing someone quite regularly. I probably don't need quite that much, but I do need a lot, certainly several hours a day. I start to get cranky and very burned-out after only a couple of days where I have to be around people most of the time.

I actually do need a lot of quiet alone time; no TV, no radio, no MP3/CD player; silence. I love my mate dearly, but she's a hyper-verbal, triple-espresso extrovert. It gets kinda hard sometimes.

I love my family dearly, but I also am very fond of my alone time. I have no issue in being alone and some people around me find that odd. My wife accepts it and doesn't get offended when I'd prefer to be by myself.

Though, the cats are welcome at any time. I guess because they don't talk, don't expect me to talk and would prefer to just sleep.

When I was younger, I had no problem going out to dinner or a movie by myself.

I enjoy being with my friends and family, but I also need a lot of alone time as well. I need alone time to enjoy my music and work on my art.

Generally most of the time when I'm home, I try to be alone. Like I come out and talk with my family for maybe an hour a day and get food but that's about it. I value my isolation sometimes.

I also require a lot of alone time.

As a kid my parents would pull me out of my bedroom because I was "being a hermit."

Well, I AM a hermit. Fortunately my husband (mostly) accepts this. He also goes away on business a lot and I have the house to myself, though my executive function suffers these days without someone to give me a nudge and make me eat, etc.

I was always genuinely baffled as to why prisoners dread solitary confinement and why it can quite literally drive them insane. It didn't make sense because I can spend a nearly indefinite period of time alone without being bothered by it. I do miss specific people and things might be different if I didn't have animals and there was no element of choice. But NT people desperately require human contact and suffer terribly without it. Solitary confinement is extraordinarily cruel to them, whereas being solo for extended periods of time seems to be a welcome break if not an actual need for a lot of AS people.

Thanks so much for the replies. I feel a lot less abnormal now. I also found that getting barrages of texts or phone calls from my partner really stressed me out and despite being physically alone, those messages somehow stopped me from being alone emotionally. Eventually we had to break up because I wasn't getting the space I needed.

Alone time and shunning NTs is a fundamental aspect of being Autistic and like you I also have Asperger's Syndrome. I need a great deal of alone time myself and the lion's share of my time in a typical day is spent alone.

An Autistic wanting to be alone is like a battery that needs charging. This is something we absolutely need because we need to "recharge our own batteries" as being with others is extremely demanding on us and time away is absolutely essential. Alone time is quite necessary for those like us so don't feel bad because it's perfectly normal for people like us.

Glad to have you with us and I hope you stick around!

I'm the same that way. I can't stand to even look at my email inbox or open letters; just the feeling that there might be something there that needs a response is too much sometimes.

As a houseguest, I can't really relax if people are out there waiting for me to finish my "alone time." Maybe I should claim to be working on something that can't be interrupted (that they can relate to.)

Exactly. I know just how you feel. I always bring "work" to do. When I was younger, I could go running. In my most recent experience of staying with people, I left the house to pick up some supplies needed for work and was gone for about 3 hours, sitting in a diner. I am just too old to care anymore or to exhaust what energy I have meeting others' expectations.

Personally I try to find a quiet corner and just pull up an ebook on my phone.

I spent most of my time alone, not always because I wanted it. I do like my downtime after a day of activities, but I do like being with people. I actually wish I had started long before I did.