Do you just *LOOK* weird?

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Do you ever look at a picture or video of yourself and think "Wow, I had no idea I looked so weird"? I don't know exactly how to explain it, but when I see myself, I realize that I don't sit, stand, walk, or really do anything like normal people do. You can always spot me in a crowd because I'm the one who just looks *wrong.* I'm not even sure there's anything I can do about it. Does anybody else feel like this?

Yes, very much so. I've known since school that something was odd about my movements and posture, because other kids would parody me as a joke/bullying, and I had a lot of trouble with school gym teachers and marching band instructors because I didn't move how they wanted. Back then, though, no-one had video cameras, so no-one could ever really get through to me what the difference was.

Much later, only a few years ago when friends started getting super-duper smart-phones, I saw video of myself. I found it really quite disturbing. It's not so much that I worry about other people's reactions, because I already knew about that; but when I see myself on screen, nothing I do looks at all like I imagine in my own head, and I stick out like a sore thumb. I can see now exactly why I'm so clumsy all the time, and it's no wonder I could never copy other people's movements properly. I see the same thing in my facial expressions; they're either much more subtle than I think at the time, or are really exaggerated (my eyebrows are nuts; Roger Moore and Mr Spock are amateur eyebrow gymnasts compared to me!) My mind just doesn't seem to perceive the difference between what I think I'm doing and what I'm actually doing.

My body image in mirrors is weird, too. It's as if my mind gets confused about whether it's controlling me or controlling the reflection, or which point of view to read left and right from (this is partly why I've nearly always had a beard!) I lose track of body parts when I'm hyper-focused or dissociated, as well. I'm used to these things, so they don't frighten me at all, in fact the mirror thing quite often makes me giggle; but I wonder if that is partly why I never recognised the oddness before seeing it on video. Something is very wonky about my proprioception in any case.

Oh yeah I'm totally the kind of person who gets looked at that way. There's both my typical classic autism traits combined with my severe coordination disorder. But there are others in my town who have similar issues or are eccentric looking/acting. It has a reputation for it. So that keeps me from being the lone town weirdo.

there is a reason i hate being taken pics/vids of xD

I look at myself in windows as Im walking by and think I look weird. I have bad posture. I kind of slouch as I walk.

I have really bad gross-motor skills, it's a wonder I can actually walk at all as I was never able to do anything else (ride a bike, swim, climb, dance etc.) People used to take the pee out of the way I walked and laughed when I ran. Facially, I guess I was blessed with reasonably normal features but I couldn't smile naturally for photographs. I still have a class photo from aged 11, about 30 of us and I'm the only one not smiling.

Definitely. I think it's less to do with my features than how I carry myself. I move kind of awkwardly because of my dyspraxia and sort of lurch everywhere which I'm trying to fix. In general I look a bit strange because I seem constantly uncomfortable.

That seems to be the case for me. Friends have said that they can recognise me from a long way away, no matter what I'm wearing, because of the way that I walk. I walk very fast, bouncing up and down and side to side a lot, and leaning forward and a bit hunched, as if I'm walking into a strong wind (I was a tip-toe walker as a child, and do it when stimming, so that probably explains the lean). My Mum says that I have exactly the same walk as my uncle, her younger brother; but I couldn't have learned this from him as he was quite reclusive and I doubt that I ever saw him walking around outdoors, full-speed ahead (there are other striking similarities with my autistic traits on that side of the family.)

I've been told I walk really stiff legged, hunching forward kind of vulture-ishly. I don't swing my arms when I walk either, and in high school people would tell me I looked like a gorilla.

In videos I think I just look awkward and if I hear myself speak I don't sound anything like I think I do

Yup. Very often people will try to convince me that this is just because of the different sound quality between recordings and in my own head; but it's much more than that. My inconsistent pace of talking, pitch inflection, and things like that are also much different to what I think I do.

Sort of. My mannerisms are pretty awkward, and it doesn't help that my back is all kinds of messed up. I feel more robot than human at times. Purely appearance-wise, I don't stand out that much. Well, I wouldn't if it wasn't for my fashion sense, which is pretty eccentric too.

Yep, this. Swinging my arms is something I have to do manually, it just doesn't come naturally to me at all. Though I've been compared more to a spooky vampire than a gorilla, lol.

Likewise. I can walk just as fast (always fast!) with stuff in my hands as without. Doing it is definitely just an affectation because I realised it attracted the wrong kind of attention. There was a thread about arm-swinging not too long ago, and it surprised me how common it seemed to be.


Ha ha, I've had that one too. I have the nocturnal sleep pattern and super-pale "computer geek tan" to go with it, too, which probably doesn't help!

yeah i look like a complete moron

I've noticed the same thingabout myself, though I don't consider it a bad thing; I actually think it's the quirks of my appearance that make it so compelling. I observe the same thing of other people; most of the people, both male and female, whom I would consider good looking have some deep eccentricity or another, physically as well as behaviourally. I can't bring myself to be physicaly attracted to "normal" looking women. In school, I remember that, when discussing which women I found attractive with the other boys, my tastes were always different from theirs - sometimes directly at odds with them. I always considered the geeky/ bookwormish girls the most attractive ones. I suppose I have similar tastes as an adult.

I look stiff in a lot of my pictures. I have been told I look nice, but I think my stance is always forced and rigid.