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BeaArthur
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27 Oct 2018, 6:41 am

Got a phone call about an hour ago from the man who was informally acting as her caregiver. She had been in very poor health, largely due to alcohol abuse. I had a history of trying to help her, but in the past month she had been going downhill and would not take my calls. I am told she rejected help from everybody, not just me.

She was only 43. She leaves three children.

This was the daughter of my sister, who committed suicide last February. What a messed up family this is. I am dreading the phone calls I have to make in a little while once the sun has risen.

I cannot help but observe that efforts to help her were similar to efforts some people here at WP make to help the chronically afflicted. After expending quite a bit of energy, you recognize that your efforts are wasted and nothing you can do makes a difference. This may result in anger, or self-recrimination. In my case, I'm experiencing resignation and acceptance.


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Daniel89
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27 Oct 2018, 6:45 am

I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are okay. Mental illness does have a genetic element, its a double edged sword as people with mental illnesses can negatively effect their offspring.



Piobaire
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27 Oct 2018, 6:53 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have people who love you who can offer you solace and peace.
May peace be with you.



Fnord
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27 Oct 2018, 7:19 am

Oh ... (((Bea))) ... :cry:



BeaArthur
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27 Oct 2018, 8:27 am

Thank you, folks. I do have supportive family around me. Mostly, I feel badly for my niece's sister and for my niece's children.


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Magna
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27 Oct 2018, 8:29 am

I'm so sorry for your loss and the loss to her children. May she rest in peace.



envirozentinel
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27 Oct 2018, 8:44 am

I'm so sorry Bea. Hugs.

Hard to find words at a time like this.


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kraftiekortie
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27 Oct 2018, 11:08 am

Sorry for your loss, Bea.

At least the pain is gone for your niece.

I’m glad you have much support around you.



SaveFerris
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27 Oct 2018, 11:28 am

My condolences Bea


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BeaArthur
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27 Oct 2018, 11:34 am

Thank you all.


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underwater
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27 Oct 2018, 12:46 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, Bea.


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AnneOleson
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27 Oct 2018, 1:00 pm

I’m sorry for your loss too, Bea. KraftieKortie says it well. How old are her children? Are they close to their aunt, i.e. not alone?



BeaArthur
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27 Oct 2018, 1:52 pm

Anne, the children are approximately 16, 14, and 8. They live with their fathers.


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SpiceWolf
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27 Oct 2018, 3:44 pm

My condolences, it's good that you have supportive family.



Trogluddite
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27 Oct 2018, 3:57 pm

Condolences to you and the rest of the family, Bea. RIP.


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hurtloam
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27 Oct 2018, 4:01 pm

Oh Bea, I'm so sorry to hear this. You're such a supportive member on this forum. I can imagine how much you tried to help her.

Hugs.