A jock I used to know now has a nerdy/geeky wife

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Marknis
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06 Nov 2018, 2:08 pm

Someone I used to know who used to be a security guard at the joke of a library I work at came in with his wife and baby today. This guy is a total meat head jock but yet has a nerdy/geeky wife while I am considered a "loser" for being shy and introverted and I can't even get a simple coffee date or online meet up date. I was feeling better than I was for the last few days but now the day is ruined for me. :(



envirozentinel
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06 Nov 2018, 2:24 pm

Unlikely people sometimes get together.

Give it time, it may happen unexpectedly like it did with me.

Don't make it your one and only goal in life. You too, can meet a suitable "other half"... as many of our members here have done against all odds.


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Marknis
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06 Nov 2018, 7:06 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
Unlikely people sometimes get together.

Give it time, it may happen unexpectedly like it did with me.

Don't make it your one and only goal in life. You too, can meet a suitable "other half"... as many of our members here have done against all odds.


You got that right. My older brother considers himself a "true blue conservative" while his wife is a "bleeding heart liberal". :o

I understand that rushing or trying to force things hasn't helped but I do still struggle with patience and perseverance. Whenever I failed at getting a date, it would discourage me severely. For some reason, my instincts are to give up when things don't go my way no matter how hard I try.



Marknis
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07 Nov 2018, 11:33 am

I have been getting conflicting advice on how to go about my struggle from people I know. Some say to not think about dating and focus on other things while others are telling me to "put yourself (me) out there". I find it almost impossible to not think about dating because I see relationships wherever I go and I don't know how to "put myself out" unless they mean go to one of the smoky sports bars in my area.



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07 Nov 2018, 12:47 pm

Doubt you'd find the type of girl you'd like at one of those places.

Have you tried any of the better dating sites where some compatible soul might lurk?

In the meantime, don't try too hard. There may come a time when some of the guys you know might become jealous of the "catch" you made!

NB! No sexism intended with that phrase....
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Prometheus18
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07 Nov 2018, 1:16 pm

The bar is somewhat lower for women, in my experience; a woman only needs to be good looking, whereas a man generally needs to also be tall, physically strong, have a decent income, a car and so forth.


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Marknis
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07 Nov 2018, 2:26 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
Doubt you'd find the type of girl you'd like at one of those places.

Have you tried any of the better dating sites where some compatible soul might lurk?

In the meantime, don't try too hard. There may come a time when some of the guys you know might become jealous of the "catch" you made!

NB! No sexism intended with that phrase....
.


I tried Plenty of Fish, Match, eHarmony, and zoosk for a whole summer but they didn't lead to anything. I actually paid a "fling" site out of desperation; I hated how my older brother was getting all the girls and I was suffering from summertime sexual tension but it was the same deal with the dating sites. I was shocked to see a girl my age at the time (21) having sex with a guy in his 40's.



Marknis
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08 Nov 2018, 5:01 pm

One of my co-workers has the nerdy/geeky look but her husband looks like a redneck. I am honestly scared that the number of nerdy/geeky women is decreasing and the re-election of Ted Cruz in my state means a lot of them will leave.



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08 Nov 2018, 6:41 pm

Opposites really do attract. Also I don't want to put you down or anything but you really shouldn't hold it against the guy for finding love and having his own family. You should be more happy for him because it's very hard for anybody to find real love in this crazy selfish world of ours. I used to really hate my brother but when I found out he and his girlfriend were having a baby I was very happy for all of them and it even changed my brother and made him a better person. You shouldn't give up on yourself either you might still find love one day. :)


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TW1ZTY
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08 Nov 2018, 6:45 pm

Prometheus18 wrote:
The bar is somewhat lower for women, in my experience; a woman only needs to be good looking, whereas a man generally needs to also be tall, physically strong, have a decent income, a car and so forth.

From my experience looks really aren't the only thing that matters for a woman when a guy goes out with her. If she isn't a nice person to him or is too boring he will quickly loose interest and dump her. Despite the way Hollywood portrays heterosexual men on TV they actually do have their own standards when it comes to wanting to be in a serious relationship with a woman.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Nov 2018, 6:50 pm

I didn't own a car until I was over 50.

I'm a short man. I'm a chubby man.

My income was never even "decent"--even now.

I'm not physically strong.



TW1ZTY
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08 Nov 2018, 6:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I didn't own a car until I was over 50.

I'm a short man. I'm a chubby man.

My income was never even "decent"--even now.

I'm not physically strong.


I think you just described the majority of Aspies on this site including me. I'm not 50 yet and I can't drive nor own a car, I don't even know how to use a city bus or taxi. :(


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08 Nov 2018, 7:11 pm

I had a fiancée at 19. And a wife at 34.

I slept with between 30 and 35 women. Mostly before 1990.

After 1990, I had about 3-4 serious relationships.

Yet....like you said....that description is the description of many guys here.



TW1ZTY
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08 Nov 2018, 7:18 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I had a fiancée at 19. And a wife at 34.

I slept with between 30 and 35 women. Mostly before 1990.

After 1990, I had about 3-4 serious relationships.

Yet....like you said....that description is the description of many guys here.

I've never had sex or been in a relationship but I think I have enough self confidence now that maybe I can change that.

And like I said I'm happy for anybody who finds a real relationship and can start a family of their own. :)


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Last edited by TW1ZTY on 08 Nov 2018, 7:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Prometheus18
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08 Nov 2018, 7:19 pm

TW1ZTY wrote:
Prometheus18 wrote:
The bar is somewhat lower for women, in my experience; a woman only needs to be good looking, whereas a man generally needs to also be tall, physically strong, have a decent income, a car and so forth.

From my experience looks really aren't the only thing that matters for a woman when a guy goes out with her. If she isn't a nice person to him or is too boring he will quickly loose interest and dump her. Despite the way Hollywood portrays heterosexual men on TV they actually do have their own standards when it comes to wanting to be in a serious relationship with a woman.


What I said might be a slight exaggeration, but it's still the case that the bar is a great deal lower for women. The men you talk about probably found someone prettier, is all.


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