Oh boy

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I recently learned that 60% of human communication is body language, 30% is tone of voice and 10% is what you actually say.




Guess I'm waaay more screwed than I thought

Very interesting.

At least online there is not as much body lanaguage.


any chance of sources?

It's from one of the many social skills books I have been reading....possibly "Conversationally speaking" by Alan Garner(a very useful book, BTW...I highly reccomend it) I can find the other titles later, if you wish

I wouldn't count on such 'percentages' as a general rule. They sound like 'everyday' conversation. But words/bodylanguage/tone are each best for communicating certain types of info. So for some conversations tone will be most important, but other conversations are dominated by words, etc. It all depends on the topic of conversation and each person's conversational style.

Some people have styles that rely a great deal on tone and body language - their actual speech is often just a series of emotive grunts (really, it is amazing). On the other hand, some people have styles that rely on words more than anything else. If you are speaking to someone who has a strong accent then you don't get much info from voice tone. Or if you are talking about an airy intellectual topic, then words are essential for expressing certain things.

Even for scientific topics, concepts that take 15+ minutes to learn from a textbook take only 3 minutes to learn from a good lecturer. Tone and body language are important there. In particular, watching a person describe and draw a chart is *much* more informative than reading the chart in a book. Just from the 'body language of drawing' you can tell how important each feature of the chart is, how the things on the chart relate to each other, etc. Well, that is my experience anyway...

Also body language of the listener gives the speaker a lot of feedback that lets him/her tailor the speech to the audience, which improves communication a lot. e.g. lecturers often say 'I see a lot of frowns in the audience, so I'm not explaining this well. Any questions?'. Sadly it seems that most of these signals are subtle and a bit unreliable, so I am not good at picking them up

Perhaps if you cultivate a communication style that relies on words alone, other people will notice and communicate with you in the same way. But I suspect that people will just stick to the comfort of their own natural styles.

I use more of a word based form of communication. My body language doesn't change much, so it's probably not easily read. Is facial expression considered part of body language? Hmm...? I really don't know if I believe those statistics, it really depends on culture, situation, etc.

is that alan garner as in elidor, the owl service and red shift?

Yes, facial expression is part of body language.

I know what you mean, NotBlueAspie, there are some people who are more difficult to understand than others. I'm more comfortable around introverts like myself, because they tend to be quieter, give off less body language, and be more speech-based. Extroverts can be fun, but I also find them mind-bogglingly confusing. I never know how to react. There is a girl I work with, for example, who speaks so quickly that I don't usually know what she's saying, and she also gestures and insinuates a lot. Even when I get it, I really just don't know what she expects me to do in response.

That would explain why people frequently don't acknowledge that I said anything. I've probaby mentioned this in post somewhere else here, but sometimes in conversation with my family, I will have a comment or suggestion and nobody will show any type of resonse that they heard me. Then my brother can say the exact same thing verbatim and everbody likes the idea.

I guess that's precisely what makes telecommuting work such a darned blessing. Even for sales.

grrrr!! !! !

I hate that.

Humz. So, I suppose I get about 30% of the 60% of nonverbal communication, 15% of 30% of tone, and 10% of 10% of words.

Hey! I'm getting about 55%! I get a majority (technically being 51% and above) of communication!! ! YAY.

I've always been unheard. I used to wonder if NTs have language receptors in their brain that only register the speech of other NTs. It still happens in shops, people have to ask me to repeat myself, even though my voice is perfectly audible.

When I was younger, people were always telling me to speak louder or they couldn't hear me. I would raise my voice, thinking I was pretty audible and they still couldn't hear me. Worse, some act like I'm invisible, not even glancing at me, if they're talking with my friend when I'm standing right next to her.

I don't have too much trouble with understanding tone of voice. I am trying to pick up on body language better, but I still don't get most of it.

I still have this problem. I sound perfectly normal to me, but apparently I speak very softly.