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Unhealthy relationship with looks

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xxZeromancerlovexx
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15 Dec 2018, 2:19 pm

I never got the chance to be the stylish fashionista when I was in 7th and 8th grade. Imagine a world where you are in 8th grade and you are wearing a feminine outfit and was told to put on a baggier shirt by your at the time step father. You show up to school in a baggy metal band tee and no makeup. You were never shown a feminine alternative in the plus size section until last minute. That is the world I lived in for years.

I’m worried that I have an unhealthy relationship with clothes. I love my appearance. I got told “you see all of these girls who are only happy because they wear a size 2 in jeans, have a nose ring and shop at Forever 21” by a family member. I got told when I wanted to dress like a girly girl that those girls are skanks and that I’m the girl who is truly beautiful even though I wore a nightmare before Christmas shirt from the men’s department by a family member.

My looks are the only thing that I think about. I spend hours looking at girly girl clothes only to get angry and when I’m angry my mom gets upset. I hate seeing my mom upset. I feel guilty when I clothes shop.

Sorry for the long post. I just have nowhere else to turn.


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Sweetleaf
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15 Dec 2018, 2:38 pm

It kind of seems like your family has been doing a lot of telling you how to dress and what image you should have. I think you should dress the way you want regardless of what they say. I personally enjoy wearing metal band tees that are a little baggy (though I do have a couple of the feminine fit ones). And I do not like to dress like a girly girl, but there is nothing wrong with it.

Seems like the reason you are having some issues with this is, because you're family has put you down about how you like to dress. I don't really think you have an unhealthy relationship with looks, seems more like your family has a problem meddling in your personal affairs. Do you live with any of them currently?


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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15 Dec 2018, 2:47 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
It kind of seems like your family has been doing a lot of telling you how to dress and what image you should have. I think you should dress the way you want regardless of what they say. I personally enjoy wearing metal band tees that are a little baggy (though I do have a couple of the feminine fit ones). And I do not like to dress like a girly girl, but there is nothing wrong with it.

Seems like the reason you are having some issues with this is, because you're family has put you down about how you like to dress. I don't really think you have an unhealthy relationship with looks, seems more like your family has a problem meddling in your personal affairs. Do you live with any of them currently?

I live with my mom who doesn’t care how I dress. I just needed to vent. I get really focused on past events in fear that it will happen again.


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BTDT
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15 Dec 2018, 2:48 pm

I've used my interest in looks and fashion to maintain a healthy lifestyle, though like most Aspie interests, it isn't "normal." I have a job that pays well and "retail therapy" is cheaper than seeing a therapist.